TTC after 35


Well, I had a feeling the BFN I got on Monday was a true -ve, but was hoping I was wrong.  Lets just say AF arrived this morning with a vengence and that hope was nipped in the bud.  We'll start the process over again next week I guess.  I just wish DH would shut up about it already.  He seems to think because it was pretty easy for me to conceive at 37, it will be simple this time around at 40.  Nothing I say to him can make him understand that while I hope that to be the case, it very well may not be.  He just doesn't get it and told me all weekend that he was sure I was pg.  He was sleeping this morning when I left for work (he works nights) so now I get to give him the BFN news after work tonight.  Yipee. 
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Re: BFN...damn.

  • I'm sorry!  BFN's suck big fat hairy toes!!!!! 
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  • you poor gal! It's so hard to make men understand that fertility, while most likely just fine, is not something to take for granted when you're in your 30s and 40s. My husband and i are gonna try next June when i turn 35 and he seems so breezy about it and thinks i'm crazy to do so much prep work. He told me he has super sperm. I hope he is right but who wants to take the chance. I like to err on the side of caution.

    Have you tried any of the fertility helpers out there. I got Brenda Strong's Yoga4fertility dvd and i love it. It calms me. I also enjoy listening to the free podcasts from Conceive Online:

    they are very informative and run the gamut from secondary infertility to charting to age to diet. Might be something your husband could listen to as well and get more educated on the subject.

    Best of luck with your Baby Making!

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  • I'm so sorry about the BFN, they do suck. Hopefully your husband will start to understand how and you feel the way you do. Just keep communicating. Again, I'm so sorry, I know this is heartbreaking. Hugs
  • I hope your DH is right for you, but it's true that men often really don't know how this goes (my own DH has been shocked by the problems we've had).  I don't mean to throw a downer in here, but my RE explained to us (when DH asked why I would have gotten pregnant immediately at 37 but was having severe problems 2 years later), that female fertility begins to decrease at 35 but that it literally takes a swan-dive downwards after 37 for many, many women....Sad
    me - 41 (dx: DOR); DH - 53 (no problems); 7/18/09 - married!; 8/4/09 - BFP on first (real)try; 9/14/09 - missed m/c; 9/15/09 - d&c; 11/09 - 3/10 - 4 natural cycles = BFN; 4/10 - dx hyperthyroidism caused by Graves' disease; 6/10 - thyroidectomy; 7/10 - 12/10 - 1 natural and 5 medicated IUI cycles = BFN; 1/11 - new RE; dx low ovarian reserve (AMH .42; 1/26/11 -- BFP (ectopic) from IUI #6; methotrexate 2/10/11; 6/2/11 - IVF #1 = BFN; 9/12/11 - prescreening for DE; 9/15/11 - IUI #7 (unmedicated)= BFN; 11/8 - begin DE cycle (shared risk program); 12/5 - ER (5 eggs/4 mature/3 fertilized/2 left by day 5) 12/10 - ET of one 1BB blast (expanded, "fair" quality), none to freeze; 12/22 - totally shocked by +hpt; beta #1 = 413; #2 = 3952 2/14 - CVS reveals a healthy baby girl! EDD: 8/27/12 DD born 8/31/12, 10 lbs 10 oz and perfect in every way. 
  • I'm sorry. My husband too was super eager and optimistic in the beginning. He was convinced our first month we'd get knocked up and that he had super sperm! LOL Now that he's seen my disappointment and felt his own he tends to be a bit more quiet and just supportive. Sorry that you got the BFN!

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