Hey there! Need advice on 4 yo's and lying

CBKMRB

I haven't been on here in a while.  How is everyone?

So, Keira has been lying more and more recently, it started out as once here and there but lately it is a little extreme.  It's not over anything important just stupid stuff.  I've tried talking to her and stressing how important it is to tell the truth and the difference between the truth and a lie and it works for a little while but then she goes back.

Of course, after everything that has gone on lately part of me is wondering if this is her way of reacting to the current situation.  STBXDH has been in jail since February and she has had no contact with him.

Any suggestions on how to deal with this?  Or do you think it's just a phase?  I don't remember Kevin ever lying this much.

mylove2005

When DD went through this , I would constantly talk to her about difference between lying and telling the truth.  I also would give her examples of different things that could happen if she lied.  I also one day told her that I did not believe her when she was telling me something that was very minor but the truth and that I did not believe her because of her lying recently and that I was sorry.  She eventually got it that lying was bad and stop.  I hope that it ends quickly.  I am sorry that you guys are going through so much 

august06mom

DS definitely went through this phase -- in fact, I hope he's done with it. I just kept talking to him over and over about how lying is wrong and it means I can't trust him. I think it finally clicked when I told him that if I couldn't trust him, then he wouldn't get to do big boy stuff like eventually ride his bike around the block by himself. He was intrigued that he'd get to do this someday, and now he likes to say that I can trust him because he tells the truth now.

GL!

jettagurl

I think it's pretty normal for 4 yr olds - I know B has lied to me.  Like K, it is always about unimportant things.  I always tell him that lying will not keep him out of trouble, and that if he lies, then I find out, he will be in more trouble than if he would have just told me what happened.  In respect to that, when he tells me the truth about what happened, I always try to go slightly easier on him than I want - to reinforce that, and always thank him for telling the truth.  

If you think it is exacerbated by your current situation, I'd probably talk to her pedi.  Maybe talking to some sore of counselor would be beneficial for her - maybe she's uncomfortable really telling you how she truly feels about the situation. 

GL.  and Hugs! How are you doing right now?   

shouldbworkin

what kind of lying?  Making up stories or lying to cover something up?  I've had good luck talking about the root of the problem.  If DS wants to tell stories, he has to tell someone it's a story first.  If he's trying to cover something up, we've discussed that adults get more upset when you lie to cover something up and that we appreciate it when you tell the truth.  We've also discussed talking about your feelings vs. lying.  It's ok if he tells me he's afraid to tell me what happened b/c I'll get upset so that I can assure him that I won't get upset and will appreciate him telling me the truth vs. just lying b/c he's afraid or embarassed. 

smitt2619

My 4yo is starting to do a little lying.  So far he'll admit it pretty quickly and it's definitely small stuff.  I hope it's just a phase!  I have no suggestions, but you aren't alone. 

MrsHadley

A lot of times at this age, it's what they would like to be true.  So that is the question I ask when I suspect a fib.  And usually he'll self correct. From "dad says I can do X" to "I'd like to do X".  It's driving me crazy too!

I'm going to start talking about consquences now...