Transitioning to a family of 4

TinaL99

As you can see I am having baby #2 on September 7th (I'm having a repeat c/s).  This will be our last child and our family will be complete with the 4 of us.  We are so incredibly excited to meet this new LO and to make DD a big sister.   Obviously I can't predict how DD will react to the new baby.  We don't want to force affection between them and want to sort of let DD explore her new sibling in her own time and her own way.  I also want to make sure that DH & I have some time together as well (eventually, I know this won't happen right away). 

I'm wondering if any of you have advice about making a smooth transition to a family of 4?  DD is very much a Mama's girl, whining even when I leave the room or pass her off to DH and this worries me a LOT for when the new baby is here.

NavyPilotWife

Since you have some time before #2 arrives, have your DD spend some quality time with your DH.  Have him take her to the zoo, the pool, etc. without you.  Hopefully spending some fun time with daddy will make her more willing to go to him. 

mayowife

I agree that your DD needs to spend time with her Dad. This can be fun things or every day routines, preferably both.

DH took over breakfast and bath time while I was still pregnant. DS got used to DH getting him out of bed and feeding him breakfast. While pregnant I got to rest a bit before getting up for work. When DD was born DS had no problem getting up with Daddy so that I could lay in bed with DD (especially if we'd been up throughout the night).

DH taking over bath time took away the stress of bending over with my large belly and sore back. Now that DD is here I know DS will be happily occupied in the bathtub with DH's supervision while I nurse DD and get her ready for bed. We all meet up in the kid's room to read and do our bedtime routine together.

Your DH NEEDS to take over so your DD can warm up to him, especially because you're having a c-section. DS actually developed a preference for DH. I'll admit this made me sad, but now that I'm completely capable of caring for them both with no physical limitations there preference has faded away.

The thing that helps DH and I have a little bit of time together is having a very structured routine for the kids. We followed EASY with DD from day one since eventually it was what worked for DS when he was a baby. I'm very glad we did this and things are going very smoothly.