Routines and Schedules

MrsLee22

Talk to me a little bit about what you do with your babies at home.

 I kept my babies on the every-three-hour schedule they were on in the NICU and it's been working out pretty well. If they start getting fussy around the 2-2.5 hour mark I try  to soothe them with the paci/being held and if I notice it happening a lot then I up their feed by 5 or 10cc. I've also started a bedtime routine with them, with baths at 8:00/8:30, nursing and bottles at 9, then swaddle, snuggle and into the bassinette. If they fuss after that, we go in and replace pacis or rub backs or if they're really worked up we'll pick them up and soothe them but we always put them back. I've always been adament about "no babies in the bed" and we've stuck to that so far.

Soooo I was feeling pretty good about what we were doing and then I started lurking on 0-3, and other boards, and reading some, and talking to friends who had full-term babies, and I started getting all this "schedules for newborns are soooooo bad" and "not feeding on-demand makes babies feel like their needs aren't being met" and "you should cosleep and snuggle as much as you can" and all that kind of thinking.

And now I feel like I'm doing something wrong!

So, does that kind of thinking not apply to us since we don't have "normal" newborns? Or am I doing it wrong and do I need to switch to a more newborn schedule? What did YOU do with your babies?

bhilyer

We used the 3 hr schedule when we first brought JS home. Over time he started going more than 4 hr at night. I try to follow EASY - eat, activity, sleep, yourself. For some babies the "activity" portion is simply changing diaper and snuggling before sleep.
We don't cosleep. We don't feed on demand. I like routine & it works for us. Don't doubt yourself - if you and the babes are happy that's what matters.

JakesBride07

I try desperately to keep to a the every three hour schedule and my Ped is supportive of this as well... After a bit we did get the ok to go more on demand with Blake's feedings, so if he is asleep we wait it out, normally he never goes more then 4 hours between feedings except at night on a rare occasion.

I think that there isn't a right or wrong, to either school of though...HOWEVER...right now it is beyond important to keep up with thier feedings to keep up with their weight gain. Talk with your Ped about when it would be ok to go on demand. Ours started with just letting Blake sleep as long as he could at night (probably around 8 pounds) and once he continuted to gain consistantly at that point then we were able to play it by ear during the day.

Sorry I feel like I am rambling, but I hope that makes sense.

jacque_z

I don't know what's wrong and what is right.  I do know the therapists and nurses in the NICU said definitely no co-sleeping with a preemie.  IMO the no schedule thing doesn't not apply to us.  I was actually really thankful for the schedule after we came home.  It worked great for us.  We've tweaked it as she's gotten older but we love it, she loves it. 

 Sounds like what you're doing is working for you and your babies.  I'd keep it up. 

sucrets4

I bfed and couldn't know exactly how much DD was getting, so I wound up feeding on demand.  She would eat but also want to nurse to sleep, so it seemed like she was nursing all the time, but she wasn't.  We didn't cosleep until she was older, and it wasn't even full time when we did it.  

I do think that as a MoM you have to more regimented than someone with 1 kid.  Things are just different when you have 2 and moms of singletons can't possibly understand that.

That being said, you have to find what works for you and your LOs and what you're comfortable with.  As long as they are growing and thriving, I don't think a schedule is too bad as long as you have some flexibility with it.  People are ALWAYS going to parent differently than you and you can't let it get to you.  

katie4253

We too use a 3 hr schedule.  I don't think NICU babies are like full term babies.  They are used to the 3hr schedule.  I, like you, up feedings when he gets fussy consistently at the 2-2.5 hr mark.  Then he is usually back to his "old self".  Sometimes he will sleep a 4 hr stretch at night.  But, not usually. 

Don't doubt yourself.  You know your babies best.  The 0-3 ladies haven't ever met Audry and Grayson and most have no idea what having a NICU baby is like.  

kck329

My first response--don't spend too much time on the month boards, they will make you crazy. First with stuff like this and then with milestones since our babies will meet milestones at their own time.

We are still on the NICU 3-6-9-12 schedule and it works great for us. Sometimes we deviate a little-today she had OT at 12:30 so I fed her at 11:30 to give her time to digest--but we try to stick to it. Once we got permission to stop waking her a night, things were thrown off a little but she'd get back on her routine during the day. 

We don't bedshare but she is in our room in her own bassinet and will be for awhile.  I have slept holding her because of her reflux but I don't make a habit of it and don't do it in the bed with DH ever.

Trust your insticts-you know what works for your babies! One of the few advantages of the NICU is that you brought home two babies who you know very well unlike most parents of newborns. That means you can respond to their cues and do what you know works. You are doing great!

damabo80

After the first week at home, the pedi said to go more on demand. So, we sleep and eat on demand, which is nice, because she lets me sleep for 3.5 hours at night instead of the 2.5 hours were we on before.

We do bedshare, but that is more because of the personality of LO...if she didn't scream anytime someone isn't holding her, then we would not be bedsharing. I say do whatever works. If the babies are content, keep doing what you're doing.

ETA: If I had more than one baby, I think I would be more schedule-tastic. Doing "on demand" for two different babies would mean that I would probably get 1 hour of sleep a day, which wouldn't fly.

urbanflowerpot

kck329:

My first response--don't spend too much time on the month boards, they will make you crazy. First with stuff like this and then with milestones since our babies will meet milestones at their own time.

May I add a big, heck yah! to this?

Then I will tell you that I'm certain you are doing a wonderful job with your family! There is no right or wrong, though there are lots of 'theories' but you can argue both sides equally. Keep on doing whatever is working for you

Now I will tell you about us.

We live in a one bedroom - anything more is super expensive in the city. He has a crib in our room, but has never slept in it. We co-sleep. One of the milestones our NICU(s) had were in order to be released he had to be eating ad-lib AKA whenever he wanted, as much as he liked. So we were untrained of our rigid schedule, otherwise I could have seen myself trying to follow it. Our schedule is his schedule. We wake when we wake...I was working nightshifts for three years before he was born so I am a late sleeper - and go to bed late for the same reasons. He eats whenever he's hungry. Sometimes he'll want a nip then another in an hour...other times he'll dine and we go a few hours. We borrow a lot from attachment parenting style, but I am leery to identify with that because there is a lot we don't practice. When he cries we attend immediately, but we also call out to him so he gets used to getting comfort from our voices even if he's too young to know that we're there if he can't see us. During the day we do tummy time a few times. He hangs with us - if DH is working he'll sometimes cozy up. The other night he fell asleep in the bedroom and we were in the living room and that was the first time we were in separate rooms. I read to him - kid books, but also short stories. We do little art projects...very little ones He gets a bath every day due to the weather. He's not really into naps anymore, but he starts snoozing anywhere from 8ish pm until 1 am-ish, waking up here and there, then he sleeps through the night with me...and we BF now. So that's us in a nutshell

Piper345

We stick to the 3 hour feeding schedule during the day only. At night, we let him sleep; the average is 4 hours right now (sometimes 3.5 and sometimes 4.5). So far this has been working for us. DS also gets a bath every night between 6-6:30 and we do tummy time 1-2 x per day. He has reflux, so sometimes he will have a hard time going to sleep after eating. We have to hold him up for a while, and sometimes we let him lay in our bed and that seems to calm him down. Right now he is only sleeping in the bassinet or RNP, but we are looking to transition to the crib very soon.

lemen99

My advice is to do what works.  if your babies are growing and happy, then it works...

 

Andrew didn't do well on a schedule even in the NICU - to get him home they had to go to an on-demand (which the nurses hate!), so we kept him on-demand.  My 2nd son also does not do well at all on a schedule.  

I wish they did, a schedule would be easier.  If your kiddos so well on a schedule, then there's no harm!

shanlubey

Do what works to keep your babies, and you, happy. Sam started off on a schedule but quickly adapted to feeding on demand. I still make sure he doesn't go too long during the day without a feeding, but I don't hold him off if he gets hungry sooner. 

We also don't have a set nap-play schedule. He does go to bed from 7-9pm all the way to 5-8AM, but during the day I let him nap when he wants to, and we play when he wants to.  

RClaffee

When my twins came home, I tried really hard to keep them on the schedule from the NICU and have been pretty successful. I know a lot of other Bumpies hate schedules, but they have no idea what having more than one baby is like. They also argue that if you schedule your baby, she will starve. Whatever. I am sure you are smart enough to have reasonable expectations about how long your babies can go between feedings. The only thing that my pedi said when I told her that I was trying to keep a schedule is to just keep an eye out for growth spurts and make sure that the girls are asking for food if they are really hungry. I think that if your girls will tell you when they are hungry, you are fine.