Need your input

htomeo

Ok, so stbxh and I have been getting along great since we separated. What I am concerned about his the lack of time he is spending with the kids. The older three are spending the week days at their mom's during the summer. And Willis is with me Sunday thru Wed.Well, every weekend, he has somehow made it so the older three are with me (which I love) or with their mom. And sends Willis with me as well. He has been going out with his friends (fine), but is spending very little time with the kids. Willis has been acting out way more than usual, and it is concerning me that it may be a result of not seeing dad that often.What should/can I do? I can only bring it to his attention so much, before he will fly off the handle at me. 

kmartinez80

I'm assuming that the older kids are your STBXH's children with a different BM, is that right?  You don't have to agree to take the older children if you don't want to, but that doesn't sound like it is an issue for you.

Regarding your STBXH spending time with Willis, there's really nothing you can do.  If he chooses not to use his parenting time, even if it is court ordered, then that's his choice.  You can't force him to spend time with his child(ren).  I would recommend that you document everything (every time he uses his visitation and every time he misses it) so that you have the information if needed for court proceedings.  Good luck!

cmanmom

I'm also wondering about the three older kids.  Does their Mom know that STBXH is dropping them off to you?  Because I think it's great that you love them and don't mind having them but wonder if she is aware they are not with their father...

Sorry about W not getting time with his dad.  Unfortunately you can't enforce that he doesn't use his parenting time but as OP said, maybe approach him in a non confrontational way and say that W misses him and would benefit from some boy time or something like that!

 GL, it's heartbreaking to have awesome little one's and have the other parent choose other things over the kiddo.  His loss!

htomeo

Yes, she and I have been communicating more, since husband and I split. I have helped raise the kids since they were infants/toddlers (they are ages 12, 10, and 8 now). I was there for the two years when their mother took off. I have been there for a majority of their lives. So I have formed a very strong bond with them, and a good connection with their mom now that she is back in the picture.