Got some answers

CTumelty

So the RE nurse called the other day with the genetic results and all she said was that it was a genetic issue that there were 4 chromosones. I asked if she could give me more and she said that was all she could tell me but that I can make an app to talk to the Dr about it and what to do next. But I can't get that app till Aug 29! I am going to call next week to try and get in earlier than that. We don't want to wait any longer than we need to since we are doing IVF.

I am glad that we got the results that we did but I also feel guilty for being glad that the baby had a genetic problem and would never have survived it we went to term. I feel like it's wrong to be happy to find out the reason I had the miscarriage is because there is something wrong with the baby and not me.

So now we wait for AF and the approval to try again. But at least I can go swimming and take hot baths and have sex again!

Gator687

I am glad you got some answers today, and permission for swimming, baths, and sex. You wouldn't think these things were such a big deal until someone tells you that you can't anymore. Also, I don't think that you should feel guilty that it was a genetic problem. This means that it wasn't you and hopefully won't happen again. It is sad, but also a relief, too. You don't have to be so scared about trying again. Good luck getting an earlier appointment!!

Loveofjoe11

CTumelty:

I am glad that we got the results that we did but I also feel guilty for being glad that the baby had a genetic problem and would never have survived it we went to term. I feel like it's wrong to be happy to find out the reason I had the miscarriage is because there is something wrong with the baby and not me.

My genetic results are still pending, but I am having similar feelings.  I worry about it not being something genetic and it being something with me.  I know a part of me is going to be happy too if it's a genetic thing.  I look at it as me having to grieve and suffer rather than our child having to.  I'm working in the NICU right now, and this month I've come across trisomy 13, 18, and 21.  Each of those children is spending more time in the NICU than other babies the same gestational age, and those are the "genetic anomalies compatible with life." 

Mayan2011

I am so sorry for your loss.  I know how hard IF treatments are and to add a loss to the pile is extremely difficult.  I am glad that you got some answers and that you have found some closure with the results.  I don't think you should feel guilty.  Actually, I am right where you are - we are expecting our embryo pathology results this week - loss from IVF 2 - and I think the results will hit me harder if I find out the baby comes back normal.  I will interpret that to mean that my body failed us - and I am 'suppose' to be the healthy one. 

I wish you the best of luck with your next cycle!

 

kellyrn9956

I am so sorry for your loss.

Hopefully you will get to speak with the doctor more about what that means. If she says the baby had "4 chromosomes", that might mean that it had two extra sets of each one - so, normally a baby will have 46 chromosomes; these babies have 92. My baby had triploidy, which is one extra set of each one, so 68 total. Bascially, it's a random mutation - nothing that you could have prevented. The most likely scenario is that several sperm enter one egg. Again, since the nurse didn't give you a ton of info, I may be off the mark, but that's what it sounds like.

I also felt quite relieved when we found out that it was a genetic issue; I could actually begin to heal at that point.

Best wishes to you, and hope that you are healing.

Kris721

It pisses me off that it takes so long to schedule appointments.  I hope you can get in sooner.