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Parenting
Fantasizing about running away?
Okay. I know that I am the worst mom EVER. But does anyone else out there fantasize about running away and starting a whole new life . . . single and WITHOUT kids?? I've got a 4-year old, a 2-year old, a 3-month old, and a husband who is always out working. Seems like at least once a day I "plan-out" my escape--what I would take, where I would go, how I would get the money to do it. It's sad. I love my kids. Really, I do! But I just miss being ME.
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Re: Fantasizing about running away?
Yes, but only for a weekend. I would go to a hotel on the beach where the cute cabana boys bring frosty beverages and I can just sit. Do nothing. Listen to nothing. Nap, read, sleep, shop ALONE.
If you are feeling that overwhelmed please talk to someone. Perhaps a mothers helper to take to pressure off for a few hours each day or a few times a week.
Feel better!
S
Ditto pp about finding a mother's helper--even a 13 year old to sit and play with them while you read a book or take a bubble bath, or do something you need to get done without the kids pulling on your legs.
I think the feelings you're having ARE common, but you also have 3 young children. Have you talked to your doctor about PPD? I was fine after I had #1 and #2, but I dealt with undiagnosed PPD/PPA for a long time with #3.
Since your youngest is 3 months old, you probably don't get a lot of time to go out alone, but if you can even just get to the grocery store alone, or go out to dinner with a few friends, that would be helpful.
I had 3 under 3 and a husband who worked/works a lot. It is still hard on me sometimes--as they get older, it's a bit easier, but still rough. They're 5.5, 4.5 and 2.75 now. You will get through their childhood, I promise, but you need to find some ways to help you do that.
Yes! I just whispered to my husband this morning, "I am going to run away!" My boys are 2 and 4, and I am due with #3 this Fall. It's overwhelming and exhausting taking care of everyone's needs all the time and listening to whining and screaming. My husband also works long hours. I do have a babysitter at times but because my mind is so frazzled, I find it hard sometimes to figure out what I want to get done in that time. If I stay home, the kids usually want to be with me, so it becomes more stressful than if I am just here with them by myself. I think what you are feeling is perfectly normal. I do recommend getting some help for a few hours a week, though. Even if the kids miss you while you are gone, you'll have more patience for them when you get home, so everyone wins.
Hugs to you
Yes. I would sometimes even find myself at the airport, plotting my escape. I never acted out on it though.
While it's definitely not uncommon to feel that way, the frequency in which you find yourself fantasizing about it might be something to be concerned about.
Have you thought about trying counseling? I've found that having someone to just talk it out with has made a huge difference.
I think the those thought are common on occasion, but if you find yourself over run by those thoughts daily, then it may be time to think about getting some help. I don't blame you though, with that many kids at those ages I would go crazy. It's always hard adjusting to another child especially when they are newborns. Can anyone give you a break? You need to have some me time. You deserve it and need a break. After all, your husband gets a break at work right? Aside from that I think you should also talk to a health professional in case you have PPD.
StepMom to P, Mama to R and E.
SAHM and weekend NICU nurse
Fantasize? I'm working on it. I actually just emailed my uncle in Thailand last night, to see what the possibility was of my and the baby coming to stay with him for a year. He and his wife run a woman's shelter and are always looking for volunteers.
Then I felt bad, and thought maybe I should take ML and TB too. I don't really want to get away from them. Just this life. Maybe if we were in a different life, it would be different and I wouldn't need breaks from them.
So funny... because after I sent the email, I was going to post on here to see if anyone thought I was a bad mom/wife. I'm just so.tired. So.so.so.so.so.so.tired.
I'm sorry you're feeling this way. I think we (you and I, not my H, who gets breaks..- oh everyday) both need a break badly.
I did not take breaks from DD3 for the entire first year. Now that she is 14 mo, I try to get out alone even for a bit. I've had a tough week (FIL passed and DH left to go settle his estate for a week), I hired the 12 year old neighbor girl to occupy my older two while the baby napped Monday and had MIL watch all three yesterday so I could go grocery shopping.
Hire a babysitter and get out with the LO.
I have, but not for long. The biomom of my two oldest boys did exactly that, so it's tough to fantasize about since I've seen firsthand the devastating effects on the children.
When we get tired and overwhelmed, DH and I try to focus on what our lives will be like once the boys get a little older and we're empty-nesters. We love the new Toyota commercials with the parents going off adventuring and the kids are the ones sitting at home.
Yeppers. Not daily, but frequently. I know that this too shall pass once my newborn gets on some type of schedule.
Find a way to go out without ANYONE. Even if it is just to the store. Leave them all at home with your DH or a sitter. I went to the grocery store alone last night and that 30 or so minutes was awesome.
David "BD" 2/8/07 Spencer 9/12/11I can NOT imagine you (or most anyone here!) leaving your big 2 and your DH for a year!
how serious are you? I think to a degree it is not only normal, but healthy!
can you get a part time job? it is amazing how much that feels like a little personal indulgence...I had one before we moved and it was amazing.
I am planning to do it again soon!
how serious are you? I think to a degree it is not only normal, but healthy!
can you get a part time job? it is amazing how much that feels like a little personal indulgence...I had one before we moved and it was amazing.
I am planning to do it again soon!
I did when DS was a newborn & I was totally shell-shocked by the experience of being a new mom. But since then? No. DH works a ton, but he's also really mindful to make sure I get enough "me" time.
And although I never in a million years thought I would feel this way, there is a growing part of me that has not only made peace w/ my 2ndary infertility, but is also relieved and grateful for it. The more I thought about going back to that place where I was totally overwhelmed by motherhood, the more I realize one was/is plenty for me. I definitely need my small breaks from him at times, but I can't imagine how strung out I'd be w/ 2 or 3 kids.
Is there any way your DH can give you a bit of a break? A mother's helper? Time in the evenings to take a class in something you're interested in? Something that can help you reconnect with YOU, as an individual and not just as a mom. You're not a bad mom/wife at ALL. But you also can't sacrifice everything you are to satisfy everyone else's needs 100% of the time.
Yup, except I don't have the 3 month old.
Bedtime takes an hour at least, with plenty of whining. The number of times I say "knock it off" (or similar) is astonishing.
I'd give my left arm to have a weekend to myself to sleep in, watch tv and get my eyebrows waxed.
You're right, I'd have to leave the baby too. ;oP