Never what I expected...

Lorson410

My in laws that live right down the road from us and whom we see on a daily basis are not happy with our pregnancy and now all I do is cry because who wouldn't want our sweet little baby??? I have no idea what to do. I stood up for myself and I've told them until they can apologize and make things better I do not want to see or talk to them. I need advice...support...whatever you have. I just want to go back to being blissfully happy about being pregnant.

mkjones4

Do you know why they aren't excited? Maybe put DH on the frontlines of this one since they are his parents.

lostaspen

I'm sorry that was their reaction!  Do you know why they aren't happy about your baby?  Good for you for standing up for yourself, I always just left my ILs be buttheads and vent later (they don't take criticism or strong personalities well).  

No matter what your baby is a blessing.  The first trimester can be really difficult without other people's negativity, so try surrounding yourself with positive, happy, excited people!  They will either come around, or they won't, and it is their loss because babies are amazing and wonderful! 

Cebs222

I'm sorry that they are not excited and bringing you down!  My in-laws seem indifferent about it all. in the beginning she didn't even ask me how i was or anything like that, didn't seem to care.  I came to the conclusion ( well to make myself feel better lol) that she just finally realized her son was having sex with his wife and we have a baby to prove it.    Don't let them get you down, something they don't realize is that their relationship with you guys during the pregnancy is going to preview the relationship you allow them to have with their grandchild.  Just take it with a grain of salt and only think about you and your little family.   You are carrying a precious baby! They'll look back one day and regret how they treated you and their grandchild. Hugs and good luck!

Lorson410

I have asked his twin sisters and my DH over and over again for years if his parents like me and they say yes everytime. His dad works with DH on the farm together so he is always over here eating lunch and I see him all the time he teases me and we have a pretty fun relationship. His mom and I have never butt heads but I have secretly always thought she was mean and negative. She just always has a comment for everything and it's usually never good for instance she told DH I'm a bad wife because I went out of town to a concert with friends without him. He let me go, he wanted me to go. We didn't see a problem. With the baby we chose to tell them first we had dinner at their house and right when we were done DH broke the news. They just had shocked looks on thier faces. His mom asked questions like 'couldn't you have waited?' and 'is your insurance going to cover this?' and other questions but never said anything positive like congratulations. 3 weeks have passed by and we've noticed they still aren't coming around to the idea so DH decided to call them last night when I finally lost it and started crying on my kitchen floor. I decided to mute one of our phones and hear it for myself and by the 3rd time she called me a liar I flipped. I couldn't believe she was trying to tell my husband I made up all the stuff about her saying we can still miscarry and miscarriages happen all the time in the first trimester and telling me not to tell anyone because we can very likely miscarry. I called her out on it and she still called me a liar again so I hung up and let DH do the rest. I was fit to be tide. Before I hung up I told them they were not welcome in my house or to ever talk to me again. I'm just blown away. They didn't have a reason to hate me before but now I've definitely given them one. DH and I have been together over 3+ years, I'm a nurse making twice the salary I did last year, We have good insurance coming October, Neither one of us has cheated or split up or anything. I really dont get it.

babyandme10514

Let them be miserable bastards and you go back to being happy. 9 months of being pregnant flashes by so fast and you should be able to enjoy every moment of it.

WaitingOnTwoPinkLines

Lorson410:

I have asked his twin sisters and my DH over and over again for years if his parents like me and they say yes everytime. His dad works with DH on the farm together so he is always over here eating lunch and I see him all the time he teases me and we have a pretty fun relationship. His mom and I have never butt heads but I have secretly always thought she was mean and negative. She just always has a comment for everything and it's usually never good for instance she told DH I'm a bad wife because I went out of town to a concert with friends without him. He let me go, he wanted me to go. We didn't see a problem. With the baby we chose to tell them first we had dinner at their house and right when we were done DH broke the news. They just had shocked looks on thier faces. His mom asked questions like 'couldn't you have waited?' and 'is your insurance going to cover this?' and other questions but never said anything positive like congratulations. 3 weeks have passed by and we've noticed they still aren't coming around to the idea so DH decided to call them last night when I finally lost it and started crying on my kitchen floor. I decided to mute one of our phones and hear it for myself and by the 3rd time she called me a liar I flipped. I couldn't believe she was trying to tell my husband I made up all the stuff about her saying we can still miscarry and miscarriages happen all the time in the first trimester and telling me not to tell anyone because we can very likely miscarry. I called her out on it and she still called me a liar again so I hung up and let DH do the rest. I was fit to be tide. Before I hung up I told them they were not welcome in my house or to ever talk to me again. I'm just blown away. They didn't have a reason to hate me before but now I've definitely given them one. DH and I have been together over 3+ years, I'm a nurse making twice the salary I did last year, We have good insurance coming October, Neither one of us has cheated or split up or anything. I really dont get it.

Could it be your lack of paragraphs & proper sentence structure?

Seriously, though, it's not worth it. The ball is in their court, either they grow up & apologize for acting like giant douches or they don't & you sever all ties. DH & I had to do this when we got married; a few months after the wedding, they came around & are now a part of our lives.

P.S. The phrase is "Fit to be tied". Oh, & TTC without insurance is stupid. & "insurance coming in October" doesn't count - you never know what might happen between now & then. 

jenandjeff1974

Wow - that's just awful! I find it amazing that family would not be supportive, this is one of the most exciting times in your lives and you shouldnt let anyone bring you down. I know it hurts and triple bc of all of the hormones, but you've got your husband and your side of the family. Hopefully they'll come around soon

lorina

Wow!  I am really sorry that they are making what should be a wonderful time for the whole family to celebrate such a bummer.  Although I cannot say that I am in NEARLY the same situation, I did get a slightly cool reception from my MIT but it was because she had many difficulties, including a late-stage loss, when she was having kids years ago.  I don't mean to excuse your MIT's behavior in anyway but I do wonder where she's coming from in all this.

 I hope you get some clarity or at least some peace in the situation.

slukd79

Ainslie325:

There's obviously more to the story.  Why don't they support you and your husband having a child?  What is the root of their objection/worry?  I would have to believe it's not totally arbitrary.

I was thinking the same thing...