everyone else is making us nervous : /

misstut23

My husband and I are excited to be first time parents but do realize its early, hope for the best, will deal with any issues if they arise. First appt is at 9 weeks on Aug 8th.  Feeling okay, a little dizzy, boobs sore, and tired! 

We have told a few friends and I told a co-worker.  Responses have been "you better be careful because you don't know whats what until 12 weeks" or "I wouldnt get too excited until you know everything is okay".

I understand that not all pregnancies make babies.  I get it. Just thought people would be happy FIRST then offer caution....

Anyone else dealing with this? 

lostaspen

Wow, those people suck.  I would be so upset and hurt at them!  A proper response is "congratulations!"  Jeez.  

I'm sorry you have to deal with their negativity.  Pregnant women (and moms in general) deal with a LOT of worry, why do people feel the need to unnecessarily add to it? 

I hope you have a H&H nine months, and your first appointment goes really well! 

 

 

jenifairies

I'm sorry you're dealing with that. My IRL people are the complete opposite - like I already have a pile of hand-me-downs growing in the garage. I'm 10 weeks now, but it started a few weeks ago when I shared our news.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with being positive. If something happens, you deal with it, but for now, just be excited! Try to ignore the negative comments. Odds are with you!

xoladiebug

lostaspen:

Wow, those people suck.  I would be so upset and hurt at them!  A proper response is "congratulations!"  Jeez.  

I'm sorry you have to deal with their negativity.  Pregnant women (and moms in general) deal with a LOT of worry, why do people feel the need to unnecessarily add to it? 

I hope you have a H&H nine months, and your first appointment goes really well! 

 

That negativity might stem from something such as a personal or indirect loss of a baby.  So while the response may not be one you wish to hear, it's coming from a place of love and concern.  As someone who went through a miscarriage, I would never say those things myself.  I've learned that just because you get to 12 weeks doesn't mean you're in the clear.  

I hope you have a happy and healthy 9 months.  The next time someone says that to you just remember what I said above, smile and carry on. 

MNgirl326

I had a lot of the same reaction when I told a few people, so I basically stopped telling people until I was further along.

I think what happens is people always know someone who had complications or lost a baby and they see how devestating it was to those people.  So they feel like they are doing you a service by preparing you, but instead they are doing quite the oppostie.

I remember feeling a lot of fear and anxiety especially when I would hear statatics and other peoples comments, but I finally had to decide I was going to trust my body and ignore what others were saying.

Good luck!

grounhogswifey

I wonder what they would say to use because we are just a few weeks along and told everone.  Don't let them get you down.  DH and I look at this way, we would rather tell people we were PG and let them enjoy it and if something happens we would have a huge support system.  Otherwise people start asking "when are you going to have a baby" and it would really stink to say "well I was PG but miscarried). 

Congrats!!!!!

diana.filipi

I've told everyone.  In fact with my last pregnancy (gave us DD) and this one I told by 4 weeks :-)  Like pp said, if something happens I would prefer folks knew rather than have to pretend that nothing happened. 

Congratulations on your pregnancy.  Enjoy the time :-)

xoladiebug

grounhogswifey:

I wonder what they would say to use because we are just a few weeks along and told everone.  Don't let them get you down.  DH and I look at this way, we would rather tell people we were PG and let them enjoy it and if something happens we would have a huge support system.  Otherwise people start asking "when are you going to have a baby" and it would really stink to say "well I was PG but miscarried). 

Congrats!!!!!

No offense but your last sentence doesn't make any sense to me.  Yes, it's nice to have a support system in place if (God forbid) something went wrong.  However if she miscarries, people will inevitably ask that age old question, "when are you going to have a baby"...either because they don't know her well enough or didn't get the message that she miscarried.  I had to say those exact words to someone just days before my BFP (and yes, it does suck). 

sweetea929

Ugh people can be so thoughtless. I have had similar thing, but more of an odd attitude, like I get the vibe some of my friends wish I hadn't told them so early. I get comments like, "oh you ARE really early." It made me feel bad, but I just decided it's their insecurity and awkwardness, not mine. H & H 9 mos to all of you!

Sept1799

I got that with my dd when I told people pretty early in. Only a few people did this and I just ignored them. People like to put the breaks on someones happiness instead of just being happy for them.

I am sorry this happened to you but don't stop being happy for yourself just becuase of them.

RN4Babies81

People can often say the wrong thing for the right reasons.  I am 13 weeks now and it just became widely known to those I work with and one lady said to me tonight, "I just heard your news.  Congratulations.  How far along are you? I told her 13 weeks so I'm feeling pretty good about this one.  Then she says to me, well, I have been there before and it didn't work out so don't get your hopes up too much yet." I know she meant well because she is a sweet person, but seriously, who says that.  I know all the risks, but do I need to hear that stuff? Nope.  Just say congrats and leave it at that.  

cinderella4282

I would get it if it was a one in two chance or something like that . . . but by the time your pregnancy shows up on an HPT the odds of carrying to term are 85% . . . once you hear/see a heartbeat, the chances are 95-97%. Just enjoy being pregnant. The odds are definitely on your side.

And although things can happen at any stage, it becomes more and more rare the father along you go.

crogers19

People in society have become selfish and rude. We often say things because we think we know everything even if its something you shouldn't hear. Dont listen to your co-workers. You can not prevent what will or will not happen and you shouldnt stress about it. Stressing will only make it worse. And I dont care what people say telling people you are pregnant before your second tri isnt a "jinx". Things will happen as they will even if you told everyone or no one.

bwm2bmw

I was just re-reading my pregnancy book last night and was looking at the miscarriage risks in 1st tri. Most miscarriages happen before people even know they're pregnant. After 6 weeks it's like 15% and after you hear a heartbeat around 8 weeks it goes down to 5! So don't be nervous and I think you have the right attitude. Sorry you have to deal with that

ndebello

I completely agree!! People are super negative about pregnancy. I think it is all the stuff online that people read that say 95% ms rate....things that aren't true. You are pregnant!! Enjoy!! We are also a little nervous. Have only told a couple close friends, and telling our parents tomorrow and next week! But it is better to have a support system than not. H&H 9 months to you !!

byersals

I have had a few friends react exactly the same way!  It makes it so hard b/c it's not like you're not worrying about that in the back of your mind anyway, you know? 

 You just have to try your best to focus on you and your healthy baby - and allow yourself to be excited!  You deserve it! (That's what I keep telling myself when I hear things like this)

mommybrynn

This is part of the reason why we don't tell the masses until the first tri is over.... to be honest, I think those things every time someone tells me they are pregnant at like 5-6 weeks, but I would NEVER say it to them.... that is like telling someone that they look fat in that dress....  don't take it to heart.  People LOVE to bring you down!  

mommybrynn

cinderella4282:

I would get it if it was a one in two chance or something like that . . . but by the time your pregnancy shows up on an HPT the odds of carrying to term are 85% . . . once you hear/see a heartbeat, the chances are 95-97%. Just enjoy being pregnant. The odds are definitely on your side.

And although things can happen at any stage, it becomes more and more rare the father along you go.

 

And this!  I LOVE this response.... so reassuring and just nice  

rareskirt

We have gotten the same response from some people we have told. They think it is too early to tell. Well I figure if something happens then I would want my family and friends to be there for me. You just have to ignore them, once you are further along people will be really excited for you.

Sparks in training!

• Totally!! And what ever you do.... when you do pick your babies name DONT SHARE IT!! Everyone will come up with a story about how they hated that one kid named ..... ! OR I knew a Samatha who always picked her nose.

People are just weird. I have totally had the same experiance. DOnt let it get you down. Congrats!!