Mom's of 2+ -- sharing time

raceyrae

I'm at a loss.  I don't know if it's the age or just the way Natalie is (or the way we've raised her) but I'm struggling with how to adjust this situation.  When it's just me playing with both girls, Natalie wants my undivided attention.  She wants me to always be playing what she's playing.  I try to play things that both girls will want to play but the minute I give Claire an ounce of attention with playing, Natalie's back to asking me to play with her.  I will tell her I'm going to play for a few minutes with Claire on something and the entire time I'm trying to play with Claire, Natalie is yelling for me to play with her now.  And then anytime we play something (say with their Little People), Natalie pretty much tries to dictate how to play -- to both Claire and I.  So really we need to "play" by doing what she wants. 

I'm very stressed about this.  Not only am I worried I'm raising a bossy toddler which I'm not sure how to fix but I feel like a terrible mom to Claire because I'm rarely able to play something she picks without being pulled away from it by Natalie or having Natalie yelling for attention.  Claire is such a champ at independent play but that's because she's been forced into it by her big sister .

I keep hoping this will get better once she starts pre-school next month by having to work/play alot more with a lot of kids and two teachers at once.  But from what I've observed, I don't think she's bossy with other kids or that she needs our nanny's undivided attention.  It's something I'm not doing correct.  Any suggestions on how to fix this?  My heart breaks thinking how I'm not giving Claire enough attention

NatPhoto09

I have no advice since I only have one but Nic is terrible at independent play.  He needs 100% of undivided attention. You are a great mom and I bet Claire doesn't know the difference.  She is loved and has a great mom.

raceyrae

Thanks gals!

raceyrae

I should clarify that I'm able to spend one on one time with them about once a week.  It's more an issue when we're all playing together at home.

lah1177

Ashley wants all of the attention too, she has been like this since Peyton was born. She is getting a little better, but I think she is still jealous of him. Peyton is not old enough to really play yet, but anytime I do anything with him (tickle him, hold him, play around with him), Ash is climbing all over me asking me to do the same thing to her. It is very frustrating!! I just tell her it is Peyton's turn and basically just repeat myself a lot, lol!! We also try to spend one on one time with each of them.

raceyrae

Thanks Lah!  I'm glad to hear I'm not the only one facing this.  I worked with Natalie a lot on it over the weekend and I can tell that it goes better if I stick to my guns about insisting that I need to give Claire some time too while we're playing.  I guess I'm just going to keep working with her on it and hope someday she doesn't feel threatened that I'm spending time with Claire (and the next one).