Break my heart...

CleoKitty

Ds's two best friends have very active, involved grandparents. My kids got the grandparent shaft: both grandfathers dead, MIL can't do things with them due to age/health, and my mom is generally non-interested in the kids.

Anyhow, both of his best friends are away visiting grandparents this weekend and ds is really upset. He just started crying and told me he wishes he had better grandparents who weren't mean and only cared about cleaning (my mom is way OCD about cleaning all the time.)  He wants a grandparent to spoil him with things that dh and I won't buy him, take him on trips, spend the night, take him fishing and such.

He's so upset and he's right. His grandparents do suck and there's nothing we can do about it. Poor kid, breaks my heart. 

happy_momma

That must have been so hard to hear.

amiamish

poor kid, that sucks.

EliseB0323

Aw, that's sad. Have you considered an "adopt a grandparent" program at a local senior citizen program/facility? Not really the whole "spoiling" experience of having your own indulgent grandparents, but it would give him some time with a grandparent "stand in."

GinandTonic

My grandparents sucked too (my mom's mom would have been awesome, but she died when I was one).  In fact, my 97-year-old grandma still sucks.  I can relate.

My stepgrandma filled a nice void.  I always thought there should be some grandparent exchange program.  For instance, I live in MD and my mom lives in FL and only sees my kids a few times a year.  There must be some sweet grandma up here who would be willing to use my kids as proxies for her own grandparents that live far away.

Anyway, I'm sorry for him.  My kids currently have 3 full sets of grandparents, 2 of whom are awesome (my dad and stepmom are busy and kind of caught up in other stuff, but when we do see them, they're fun).  I try my best to have them spend as much time together as possible, since I don't really know what it's like to have grandparents that I'm close to.

CleoKitty

EliseB0323:

Aw, that's sad. Have you considered an "adopt a grandparent" program at a local senior citizen program/facility? Not really the whole "spoiling" experience of having your own indulgent grandparents, but it would give him some time with a grandparent "stand in."

I've thought about it but don't really know where to even go about finding such a program. I've contacted the senior center and they don't have anything like that organized. 

Also, it doesn't help that his two best friend's grandparents are fairly well-off/wealthy so those kids REALLY get lavished. Sometimes I think he's envious about that more than anything.

JillShari

That sucks.... I'd call up Big Brothers and Sisters and see if there is any recommendation for a special person who could at least spoil him with attention.  You could also call up an assisted living place or retirement community nearby and see what they say... you may have to pay for things... but it'd be worth it and make both them and your son feel special.

Rebekah1021

Poor kid. Makes me sad too.

Susie2005

That is very sad. Poor kid. And poor you.  I'm sure that must be hard to hear when you can't do anything about it for him.

My kids go to a daycare that is located in the same building as an assisted living facility.  It's a great set up.  They get the intergenerational interaction.  Some of the residents volunteer in the classrooms formally (story time, art projects, gardening), but they also do activities that involve everyone like Halloween parades and holiday concerts.  Or on rainy days they just take walks through the facility and visit the "grammies and the grampies"

You could probably find a place like that for you son to do some visiting.  He wouldn't get spoiled with material things, but I bet he'd make a friend or two.  Especially because the wya you describe him, he sounds like an articulate, mature kid.

lollitots

I can feel your pain. My kids got the grandparent shaft too. My Dad died when DD turned one (she spent her first birthday at the hospital), my Mom is in the final stages of Alzheimers and she scares them since they don't understand why she does what she does. FIL and MIL clearly favor thier only other grandchild.  They take him to lots of fun places (Disneyland, zoo, park, beach, ice cream, etc,) and then talk about it in from of my kids. They have taken DD #1 out once in her life, a few months ago. She is 6 1/2 and old enough to see the disparity (I should note that they do this because they feel that BIL can't afford to take his son anywhere, but still...).

The worse part is that I know how great my parents were with my neices and nephews when they were young.

I wish we had an adopt a grandparent thing. So sad for your son.