Im almost embarressed to be asking this.....

Crystal318

AGAIN!!!!!!

Of course I have posted in the past about leaving FI b/c of his drug problems. Well, he was off them for a while and now I know he is back on them and he is just getting worse and worse.

I am so scared to leave him/have him leave because I do not want him to be alone with LO.....EVER! I cant trust him not to get high or not to drive while high or fall asleep while watching him, etc. Did any of you who were with someone who had a drug/alcohol problem feel that you had MORE control over the situation if you were to just stay in it? (I assume you dont still feel that way but when you were IN the situation, did you feel like that)? That is how I feel. I know it might sound ridiculous (I am sure it does) but I feel that I am there all the time so FI will never be soley respondsible for LO b/c I am always there and I can protect LO.

What rights does FI have? Does it vary from state to state? Where do I even start? Does anyone have any advise? I had a horrible experience with the court system in and out of my life when I was growing up and I dont want to put LO through that at all. Any advise would be greatly appreciated.

 

TIA!

lurkylulu2

You should be embarrassed by your spelling. You chose to have a baby with a man who is a drug addict. If you choose to stay with this man, you are putting your child at risk. That is not responsible parenting.

achase123

::rolls eyes at lurky's first sentence but agrees with the statements that follow::

You need to consult with an attorney to find out your exact rights.  Begin documenting anything in relation to the drug use.  If you have any physical proof (such as pics of the drugs, things that he broke as a result of the drug use, or actual drugs) this could be helpful.  What about jail records?  Has he ever been to rehab?

You need to get out.  It is utterly ridiculous that you're staying in this situation, using the twisted logic that by staying you have MORE control.  you never have control over another person, much less an addict.  I would recommend counseling and al-anon.  You have co-dependent written all over you.

But please, for DS' sake GET OUT. 

haleyw458

You need to get as much proof of his drug usage as you can. With this you may be able to get supervised visitation and you won't have to worry about what you are.

Crystal318

lurkylulu2:

You should be embarrassed by your spelling. This is the least of my worries right now You chose to have a baby with a man who is a drug addict. Yeah, I watched him down and bottle of pills and then I decided to have his babies - you're an idiot. If you choose to stay with this man, you are putting your child at risk. Thank you for at least one comment that makes sense.  That is not responsible parenting. I have been doing the best I KNOW to do and that is why I am here asking for advice

 

hollinor

Why don't you just stay there in that miserable existence and let your children learn how to do drugs by watching daddy.  And when you and your children have no food to eat and no furniture to sit on because your dear husband has sold everything to buy drugs, then you can come back and ask us for advice on how to get out of that situation.  But please, for the love of humanity, don't come back until you are SERIOUS AND READY.

Signed by me, who formerly had my head up my a$$ where my drug addicted ex-husband was concerned.

achase123

hollinor:

Why don't you just stay there in that miserable existence and let your children learn how to do drugs by watching daddy.  And when you and your children have no food to eat and no furniture to sit on because your dear husband has sold everything to buy drugs, then you can come back and ask us for advice on how to get out of that situation.  But please, for the love of humanity, don't come back until you are SERIOUS AND READY.

Signed by me, who formerly had my head up my a$$ where my drug addicted ex-husband was concerned.

sweetie0228

You're not married.  The Child was not born into wedlock.  The father has no rights until a judge orders them after the presumed father pursues paternity and visitation/custody rights.

You can still file for CS...and yes I know you may think it is futile but really just do it and let it accrue until they send him to jail for failure to pay and willful contempt.  The visitation/custody STILL has nothing to do with CS and you can still be ordered to recieve CS from him and until a JUDGE says that he has visitation rights after the father petitions the court for rights he's got nada!