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With friends like these, who needs enemies?

Jackie2200Jackie2200 member
in Infertility Veterans

I love that people are too whatever to send me a sympathy card when we lost our babies yet they have no problem sending me an invite to their baby shower. 

These "friends" knew about our loss and sent DH an email shortly thereafter saying they were thinking of us but they never sent a card to both of us.  Seriously, when it comes to dead babies, an email is not sufficient from "good friends." I hate people...they're so self-centered.  The baby shower invite went right in the trash.  I didn't even open it to RSVP. 

UGH....Soooo LAME!

OK, vent over.... ;)


TTC Since 10/08 4 IUIs=BFNx4
IVF#1=BFP!! Twins!!
Bradley and Billy born and lost on 2/2/11 at 19w2d due to pPROM/PTL. I miss you, little angels.
IVF#2=BFN
IVF#3=c/p IVF#4=Empty Follicle Syndrome; 1 mature, fertilized, & made it to blast. 5dt of "the lone ranger" on 9/6. Please stick, little one! Image and video hosting by TinyPic Lilypie First Birthday tickers
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Re: With friends like these, who needs enemies?

  • STL34STL34 member
    I'm so sorry, hon.  ((HUGS))

    imageimage


    ~SAIF/PAIF/Everyone Welcome~ 

    Me= 37 and DH = 41 

    Dx: DOR, Endo, APA+ (really high beta 2 glycoprotein antibody and high everything else tested), heterozygous MTHFR mutation, positive for lupus anticoagulant, high FSH, low AMH and both tubes blocked (per HSG on 3/8/11)

    IVF #1 - long lupron (with HGH, intralipids, lovenox and BA); 4 retrieved, 3 fertilized; ET 2 blasts and 1 frozen = BFN

    IVF #2 - a version of antagonist with EPP (with HGH, intralipids, lovenox and BA); 6 retrieved, 4 mature, 3 fertilized, 2 blasts and 1 frozen blast transferred on day 5 = BFN.

    IVF #3 April was postponed to May, May was canceled. June/July was canceled. Had a cyst aspiration and then began IVF #3 in August. ER on 8/22; ET on 8/24 with AH. +HPT on 9/5. Beta #1 (11dpo) = 3; Beta #2 (15dpo) = 29; Beta #3 (17dpo) = 60; Beta #4 (19 dpo) = 118. Heartbeat at 6 weeks 6 days =132.  Lil is here!

    TTC#2:  Trigger + TI = BFN; Clomid + Trigger + IUI = BFN.

    IVF #4:  BCP + MDLF + Lovenox = 7R, 1F = Transferred 1 6-cell embryo on day 3 = BFN

    IVF #5:  MDLF + Lovenox = 4R, 1F = Transferred 1 10-cell compacting embryo on day 3 = BFN

    IVF #6:  (New RE):  Long Antagonist November 2014 (transferred two 8 cell grade 1 embryos and froze one blast) = BFN

    FET#1:  BFN

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  • Bella2u07Bella2u07 member

    BIG HUGS

     

    TTC #1 Since 11/08 - Dx: MFI & PCOS
    7 IUIs = All BFNs
    2011: March IVF #1.2 = e/p @ 6w: May IVF #2 = BFN: July sFET #1 = BFN

    2012: Jan We're Certified FC/A Parents
    May IVF #3 = c/p
    June-Nov Foster Mommy to M (Toddler)
    July FET #2 = BFN
    Aug FET #3 = BFN
    Sept-Nov Foster Mommy to Baby Bella (Newborn)
    Nov HSG/Sono = Clear!
    Dec FET #4 = BFN

    2013: Feb FET #5 = m/c @ 6.5w
    May-July Foster Mom to H (8 yr old girl)
    June/July/Aug IVF #4 = Freeze All
    July = Unofficially Adopting T (10 yr old boy)
    Sept FET #6 = TBD
    **PAIF/SAIF Welcome**
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  • Nesting.AwayNesting.Away

    I am sorry, Hun.

    From my experience, I found that people thought it would be easier on us to just send a quick email telling us they were thinking of us. I think cards are sometimes thought of being too "much" of a reminder of what happened. Our grandparents didn't even send us too much because they weren't quite sure how to handle their grandchildren burying a greatgrandchild. 

    On the part of them sending baby shower invites.... F them ;)

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  • Rachael07.07.07Rachael07.07.07 member
    (((HUGS))) I don't blame you for one second. An email was not enough and pretty thoughtless. People can be so ignorant.
    DX PCOS w/IR 01/08.
    Currently pg with our 1st after 6.5 yrs of IF (thank you IVF)
     
    My IF/Everything Blog
    There's No Crying in Baseball
    ***My posts are always SAIFW**
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  • MBfromBMCMBfromBMC

    Ew!  That is really insensitive! 

    (((huge hugs)))

    That is the one thing about tragedy - it teaches you who your true friends are, I guess...

    imageimageimage

    TTC since March 2009 // Me and DH - 28
    Testing Summer/Fall 2010 - Unexplained IF
    IUIs #1-4 ~ Clomid/Ovidrel/TI/IUI ~ all BFNs
    IUI #5 ~ Femara/Ovidrel/TI/IUI ~ BFN
    IUIs #6-9 ~ Research Study Meds/Pregnyl/TI/IUI ~ all BFNs
    IVF Consultation, More Testing
    Diagnostic Cycle ~ Mucinex/Progesterone/TI ~ BFN
    IVF #1 ~ Menopur/Bravelle/Ganirelix/Novarel/Progesterone/Lupron
    7R, 6F // 2 transferred // 3 frosties ~ BFN
    FET #1 ~ Estrace/PIO/Lupron
    3 thawed // 2 transferred // 1 lost // no more frosties ~ BFP!!
    Beta #1 - 456 // Beta #2 - 1176 // Beta #3 - 2933 // Beta #4 - 6753
    EDD: May 16, 2013
    Threatened MC at 6w2d
    Bedrest for SCH // 6w2d through 10w1d
    Elevated TSH and Lazy Thyroid DX @ 10w - Started Synthroid
    Finally released from RE at 13w
    Charles Everett ~ Born 5/20/2013

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker


    ~~ My IF Blog ~~ 

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  • Tanya+DaTanya+Da

    I would be so mad and hurt as well. I am sorry you had to go through this. I remember when my IRL friend lost her baby at almost 20 weeks due to PTL. I had no idea what to do. So I googled and then found the NILMDTS site that has 'etiquette' and how to help tips. And I followed those.

    ((HUGS))

    Mommies to 5 fur babies!
    TTC#1 since 2004
    LGBT
    4 cycles @ home with known donor - BFN
    RE un-medicated IUI cycles # 1-7= BFN
    NEW RE Clomid 50mg/ Ovidrel/ IUI #8 BFN
    Took long break
    Nov 2009 - Clomid 50mg/ Ovidrel/IUI #9 = BFP
    Beta 12/4 - 10...Beta #2 12/7- 28 Beta #3 12/9 - 80!
    1st sonogram 12/28 - slow hb and growth
    m/c 1/1/2010 Courtland 8w0d
    Nov 2010 cycle cancelled - polyp removal/hysteroscopy
    April 4 2011 - IUI #10 BFFN
    July 5, 2011 - #11 BFFN AMH .62 Boo
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  • Ginger71Ginger71 member

    That is horrible. I'm so sorry. I lost a friend in a similar situation. I was very ill with Crohn's and she wouldn't come visit me but I got her shower invite. I am so Emily post but I did not even send a gift.

    You learn who your true friends are at times like this. (((hugs)))

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  • so1966so1966

    I hear ya. I'm so sorry for your loss.

     In the 6 years I was ttcing and then waiting to adopt, I never recd anything from my friends other than  ''sorry: emails and wanting to know news.  I decided then to keep things really general and mostly private. people just don't realize the loss and don't acknowledge it appropriately.

     HUGS!...

    After 7 years of marriage and 5 unsuccessful IVFs, we have been granted the gift of adopting a baby boy, born 4/21/11.
    image
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  • DeputiesWifeDeputiesWife

    ugh is right.

    so sorry. 

    TTC #2 since June '08

    ~*DD 10.21.07*~

    dx unexplained

    IUI #1-4 BFN

    IVF#1 June 2011 BFN

    IVF#2 Dec 2011

    Beta#1 12/21 : 812 Beta#2 12/23 : 1634

    EDD 8/25

    *PAIFW/SAIFW*

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  • softbalangelsoftbalangel
    I'm so sorry hun. ((hugs))
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  • EchloeEchloe
    Those people are awful friends. I had some similar experiences after my loss. People are so insensitive. I'm so sorry sweetie.
    Beautiful Miracle Baby lost at 21 weeks due to pre-term labor and incompetent cervix. FET#1 BFN, FET#2 BFP, early loss. FET#3 BFN. IVF#2 BFFN. FET #4 BFP after removing bilateral hydrosalpinx and 3 months of lupron depot. Sticky Bun is here!! Image and video hosting by TinyPic Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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  • cookie_queencookie_queen

    imageEchloe:
    Those people are awful friends. I had some similar experiences after my loss. People are so insensitive. I'm so sorry sweetie.

    This.

    I'm really sorry. 

    TTC with severe MFI since 9/08 IVF w/ ICSI #1 May/June 2010= BFP twins
    Callan George and Bennett Charles born and died 11/7/10
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
    FET #1 April 2011= BFN
    FET #2 July 2011= no transfer because my lining sucked
    FET #3 February 2012= BFP! 1st beta 9dp5dt=314 2nd beta 11dp5dt=977 1st U/S 3/20 Twins- Heart rates of 111 and 138 Pregnancy Ticker
    Living After Losing
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  • scooterqscooterq member

    That is ridiculously lame of them!!  I would've tossed that invite too!

    Huge ((hugs))

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  • inlove731inlove731
    People just don't think of others the way they should.  I'm sorry :(.
    Stopped BCPs December 2008 TTC since June 2009 6 unsuccessful Clomid cycles Dx Annovulatory due to PCOS January 2010 DH-perfect 4 unsuccessful IUIs Began Lupron July 7 for first IVF IVF cancelled; overstimulation and coasting lead to huge drop in E2 New testing with an Endocrinologist...perhaps a new diagnosis... So, not PCOS but Hashimoto's Thyroiditis November 2010 After a looong break, started seeing a new RE. Gearing up for IVF 1.2. Beta 1=197!! BabyFruit Ticker image
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  • km0426km0426
    I am so sorry sweetie!!
    ***SAIF & PAIF Welcome***

    TTC since November 2008; me - poor egg quality,hypothyroidism,missing beta 3 integrin;
    DH - some MFI;

    1 month clomid plus timing - BFN;
    3 months clomid + IUI - BFN BFN BFN

    IVF #1 Nov/Dec 2009 - BFP - c/p;
    IVF #2.1 Jan 2011 - Converted to IUI - BFN;
    IVF #2.2 March/April 2011 - ER 3/23/11: 12 retrieved, 8 mature, 3 fert-ET 3dt 3/26/11: 3 embies - BFN;
    IVF #3 May 2011 - ER 5/19/11: 20 retrieved, 10 mature, 9 fert-ET 5dt 5/24/11 3 embies - BFN;
    Switched RE's for IVF #4 (CCRM) Oct 2011 - Surprise BFP before starting IVF #4!
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