Friend with preemie

DutchGirl2

I'm hoping you can help me a bit. I just found out that a friend of mine had a C-section today at only 28 weeks. The baby was born a 2 lbs 3 ozs and 15 in long. He is thankfully breathing very well. Obviously this is SUPER early and her baby shower wasn't even scheduled until the end of August so I'm sure they have very little.

Any thoughts on what her friends can do to help? There are a lot of us that live too far away to physically visit or bring meals but we all want to do something. Any ideas?

TIA!!

damabo80

Well, I had a c section and DD was born at 2lbs 3oz and 15 inches (and was breathing room air after the first day), so I guess I feel qualified to answer your question

Some things that friends/strangers brought/did that REALLY helped me, or made me appreciative was:

-Had flowers/balloons sent to my hospital room. I felt robbed of the birth experience, so it was nice that I had those flowers/balloons to remind me that yes, her birth is a joyous experience. It made it more "normal".

-A friend brought me a boppy and boppy cover. I hadn't had my shower yet, so I didn't have many of the baby basics. Another friend also brought me a nursing bra.

-Bring/send baby blankets (once again, I didn't have any because I didn't have a shower yet or bought anything myself...which I was going to do after the shower). They used these in her isolette, and they were much softer/looked better than the standard hospital blankets.

-Preemie clothes/hats. Her LO will have trouble controlling their temp for awhile, so hats are needed. Her LO's head is going to be very small, so preemie/doll sized hats are needed. LO's head was the size of a baseball.

-Gift certificates to restaurants around the hospital. After your friend gets discharged, she's going to spending a lot of time there. Our NICU didn't allow food to be brought it, so we had to go out to eat or go home to eat. Going out a lot adds up.

-Text/email her every few days or so to just say that you're thinking about her. Don't expect a callback...many days, texting was OK with me, but I didn't feel like actually talking to anyone. Sadly, I had a friend who "hates texting, so I needed to call her"...needless to say, she didn't hear from me for awhile.

-When you see a picture of her LO, or see her LO in person, comment about how cute/pretty/beautiful/handsome her LO is. I'll be honest with you...preemies aren't cute. They are red or yellow, small, bony, and hairy. But, to the parents, their baby is darling. We need justification from the outside world that our babies are cute. We eat it up.

-Don't comment about how tiny her baby is....whenever someone did this, I thought "no sh!t sherlock...if she wasn't tiny, she wouldn't be in the NICU". It's not a compliment to hear that your preemie baby is tiny...rather it just brings attention to the fact that her baby is too small to take home.

-I imagine that she didn't have time to pack a hospital bag, so she may be without the basics. Ask her what she needs/wants.

You're a great friend!

damabo80

Well, I had a c section and DD was born at 2lbs 3oz and 15 inches (and was breathing room air after the first day), so I guess I feel qualified to answer your question

Some things that friends/strangers brought/did that REALLY helped me, or made me appreciative was:

-Had flowers/balloons sent to my hospital room. I felt robbed of the birth experience, so it was nice that I had those flowers/balloons to remind me that yes, her birth is a joyous experience. It made it more "normal".

-A friend brought me a boppy and boppy cover. I hadn't had my shower yet, so I didn't have many of the baby basics. Another friend also brought me a nursing bra.

-Bring/send baby blankets (once again, I didn't have any because I didn't have a shower yet or bought anything myself...which I was going to do after the shower). They used these in her isolette, and they were much softer/looked better than the standard hospital blankets.

-Preemie clothes/hats. Her LO will have trouble controlling their temp for awhile, so hats are needed. Her LO's head is going to be very small, so preemie/doll sized hats are needed. LO's head was the size of a baseball.

-Gift certificates to restaurants around the hospital. After your friend gets discharged, she's going to spending a lot of time there. Our NICU didn't allow food to be brought it, so we had to go out to eat or go home to eat. Going out a lot adds up.

-Text/email her every few days or so to just say that you're thinking about her. Don't expect a callback...many days, texting was OK with me, but I didn't feel like actually talking to anyone. Sadly, I had a friend who "hates texting, so I needed to call her"...needless to say, she didn't hear from me for awhile.

-When you see a picture of her LO, or see her LO in person, comment about how cute/pretty/beautiful/handsome her LO is. I'll be honest with you...preemies aren't cute. They are red or yellow, small, bony, and hairy. But, to the parents, their baby is darling. We need justification from the outside world that our babies are cute. We eat it up.

-Don't comment about how tiny her baby is....whenever someone did this, I thought "no sh!t sherlock...if she wasn't tiny, she wouldn't be in the NICU". It's not a compliment to hear that your preemie baby is tiny...rather it just brings attention to the fact that her baby is too small to take home.

-I imagine that she didn't have time to pack a hospital bag, so she may be without the basics. Ask her what she needs/wants.

You're a great friend!

damabo80

Holy bump burp!

DutchGirl2

Thanks so much!! I'll have to get working on some things to send and will pass on the info to other friends