Trying to not worry

dnhosking

This is the first time I have posted. A little background: I had a miscarriage last year. The baby only grew to 8w5days with no heartbeat when I thought I was 11 weeks. It was especially hard to understand, as I had an ultrasound at 8w2days and the baby had a 160 heartbeat and looked great.

 So now I am pregnant again, just 5w6days and I am a wreck. I am so nervous about trying again and having another one. I somehow convinced my doc to let me have a blood test. My hcg levels were 6500 and the nurse said my progesterone numbers looked good (did this at 5w5d). I thought that this would make me feel better but I just keep finding reasons to be nervous. I dont go in for an ultrasound till 9 weeks.

I have been having mini-panic attacks that this will happen again and go to the bathroom alot to make sure I am not bleeding. Anyone have any words of encouragement? I still dont believe that this is a viable pregnancy and am convinced it will end up tragically like the first one. How do you guys stay sane and not worry? I am having an impossible time and its wearing me out

sytom

First of all, congratulations on your new pregnancy! 

Here's something someone once told me...  You can chose to live your new pregnancy the way it should or you can chose to continue to be miserable.  If something bad is bound to happen, it will happen anyway, so why not have fun right now, while everything is perfect. I sure don't want to sound harsh, but it really opened my eyes for the best.

By the way, I still check everytime I go to the bathroom. I am still a nervous wreck, but I've accepted that being pregnant will never be fun for me like it is for my friends.  I have my low moments, believe me, but I try to focus on the positive.  I just want to have a baby in my arms more than I am scared.  I keep repeating myself that many times a day.

I hope everything turns out good for you.  Just know that this board is really helpful when you have a question or want to vent.

Take care of yourself.

MissAutumn

First off congrats on your BFP! I think most of us can relate to what your feeling right now. When I first got my BFP I was a nervous wreak, WREAK. This is the only advice I can give you that has helped me on this pregnancy journey:

Please try to remember that this is a completely different pregnancy. Just because the last pregnancy was lost doesnt mean that you will lose this one. I know its hard to stay positive after having such heartbreak but it doesnt hurt to keep repeating that to yourself. The only thing that you can do and focus on the things that you can control like what you eat and how you take care of yourself and baby. We really dont have any control past that and if something is going to happen, there is nothing that we can do about it. I have found that the longer I am pregnant, the easier it is for me to let go of the fear and just worry about what I can control. At some point, (maybe not right now) you have to realize that you cant be scared the whole pregnancy and need to enjoy it to. I decided after my last appointment that I was pushing the fear away as much as possible and just going to try to enjoy it. If something happeneds again, Its going to hurt the same if I was scared or happy.

Anyway, sorry that was a book. (im finding it a little hard to explain myself these days with preg brain) Congrats on your preg and welcome to the board.

RunSchwartzRun

I'm sorry you're having such a hard time.  We have all been there.  I don't think I slept a full night for the first 4 weeks of this pregnancy, but eventually I just couldn't go on like that and I had to calm down.

I don't really have much advice other than to try to take it one day at a time.  And vent here as needed.  It really helped me to have someone to talk to who had been there.  I wish you all the best.  ((hugs))

LottaLattes

My husband just keeps telling me to stay positive and that's all we can do.  Unfortunately, there really isn't anything you can do one way or another, but try to stay calm and relaxed.  He keeps telling me that the baby can feel how I'm feeling, and to keep how I feel in perspective for that.

*HUGS*

It's definitely not easy, my betas at 5w6d was 5946, so we're pretty close!  I haven't gotten my progesterone yet.  Are you going in for a blood draw again tomorrow?  FX for doubling, and hopefully you'll be able to relax in the coming weeks.  Take it one day at a time until then *HUGS*

Eris-Alexis

Firstly, welcome and congratulations! 

What you are feeling is totally normal for being PGAL.  All of us have had those very same fears multiple times throughout our pregnancies.  Being on this board has helped me significantly.  Try to remind yourself that this is a different pregnancy and a different baby.  Even though your last pregnancy ended tragically, there is no reason to think that this one will.  And repeat the PGAL mantra, "Today I am pregnant and I love my baby."

Wishing you a happy, healthy and uneventful 9 months.

RachH517

I agree with what the previous posters said. I have been a nervous wreck but made a decision to try and stay positive and enjoy this pregnancy. (As much as one can enjoy serious heaertburn). It is easier said than done and I struggle with it everyday, but I am trying to remain positive so that my stress doesn't affect my baby.

Good luck, hang in there and I will be sending positive vibes your way!!

dnhosking

I dont think I will be going in for another blood draw. I had to ask for this test, just for some reassurace, and since the numbers look decent, I dont think they will do any further testing. Just have to wait another three weeks.... which wont be easy.

 

I want to thank you guys for your support. You are making me cry out of happiness because its been hard dealing with the miscarriage and all the emotions of pregnancy at the same time. 

 I guess I just dont feel pregnant yet, no morning sickness and few other symptoms, save sore boobies and tired. I actually wish for some  serious morning sickness, it will help me feel like everything is ok. I think worrying helps me feel in control, even if rationally, I am not. My first pregnancy, I was really laid back and went with the punches, and then it happened. I know it doesnt make sense, but I feel like worrying about it will ensure it wont happen agani (though I know that itsnt possible)

Again thank you guys. I am sure I will post more about my worries and strange body changes in the future

kymberleyd22

First of all, Congrats! Second, try to remain calm and worry-free (I know this is hard!) as much as possible. Hope you have a H&H pregnancy!

amu1234

Let start off by saying congrats & welcome

There isn't any way to completely get rid of the fear you have. It's only natural to feel this way after experiencing a loss. What has worked for me is focusing on what's gong on in that exact moment. Acknowledging that in this moment I am healthy, I am pg, and my baby is healthy. I have no control over the outcome of this pregnancy but I do have control over myself and the external things that can help keep my baby healthy. When the crazies creep in (which they do often) I just try to redirect my thoughts to the positives, you know things like my bb's still hurting, or feeling RLP. 

I don't know if this helps but i certainly hope it does. GL I hope that you have a very H&H 9 months!