Devastated and trying to pick up the pieces

dmndsr4eva

I've been posting for a few weeks on the other boards but I just discovered this one.  My FI told me a week ago that he is done with our relationship.  I am meeting with an attorney today to discuss custody matters for our year and a half old son.  I know that I have a major battle ahead of me.  FI has made it pretty clear that he is going to fight me for primary custody.  Lord help me.

achase123

I would think that he's going to have a difficult battle ahead of him if he wants more than joint custody, especially since your son is so young.  I'm sorry you're dealing with this.

buckeyerachel

agree with the above poster and wanted to add document everything.  You will be glad you did if there are problems later.

PrettyInPearls23

The vibe I've gotten from a lot of stories from this board (and my own) is that the guy always seems to want to put up a fight for custody in the beginning. They'll say it's not about the money (CS), but it always is. Stand your ground and DO NOT compromise what is best for your LO because it's easier than fighting for what you both deserve.

Is he a good father? Do you have any kind of visitation/parenting time plan worked out?

Like a PP said, document everything. I'm sorry you're here, but welcome!

FloF9

The vibe I've gotten from a lot of stories from this board (and my own) is that the guy always seems to want to put up a fight for custody in the beginning. They'll say it's not about the money (CS), but it always is.

I'm a lurker but this 100%.  A lot of them threaten to do this so the woman gets scared and compromise to anything they wish.  Don't fall for it.  Lawyer up.

Mominator

FloF9:

The vibe I've gotten from a lot of stories from this board (and my own) is that the guy always seems to want to put up a fight for custody in the beginning. They'll say it's not about the money (CS), but it always is.

I'm a lurker but this 100%.  A lot of them threaten to do this so the woman gets scared and compromise to anything they wish.  Don't fall for it.  Lawyer up.

I'm going to agree with this too. My exH still does this actually. Like today he asked me if he could keep the kids an extra night this week and I said "sure". I think he was expecting me to say no and then would pick a fight. Suddenly he wasn't "able" to take them the extra night. It's a game, don't give in to it.

julia0402

Agree with PP, for sure.  My ex wanted to fight to the end for primary custody, and not even a year later, he barely even puts forth the effort for a phone call to his daughter.  I am sure many ladies here will agree.  Hang in there and just keep plugging away, and good luck to you.