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Infertility Veterans
jessican08
member
This is a joke, right? (NIFVR)
jessican08
member
So...my 32 year old big sister is getting married in Ohio on Saturday. She just sent me an email and said, "Remember how you said to let you know if you need ANY help with the wedding? Well, I need you to co-sign this $3k loan or this wedding ISN'T happening."
WTF!!!!!!
This REALLY takes the cake (no pun intended). I'm going to judge for a minute here: My sister dropped out of college twice, has never held a job for more than 3 months...has two kids from two different guys (neither of which is the guy she's marrying) and she hasn't had a job in years (the taxpayers of OH help her and 2 kids out a lot). Her fiance' works but he doesn't make a lot of money...so needless to say, things are tight for them. They planned this wedding and my parents were helping them out with things like the cake, her dress, etc. I bought her veil for her...we helped out where we could. I asked my mom last month how they were paying for this nice reception hall to feed 120 people on their budget and my mom said that my sister told her they were all set.
Well, apparently they planned to take out a loan to pay the hall and the bank won't lend to them without a co-signer because their credit sucks. Why they've waited until 5 days before the wedding to secure this financing is beyond my comprehension. And the really bad part is part of me thinks this was her plan all along. She was just going to wait until the last minute, when all my Canadian relatives had their air-fare booked, everyone made their travel plans, all the arrangements were made, to drop the bomb on her family that she couln't pay for this wedding herself and needed help.
I am so angry at her right now...I want to drive up to OH today and punch her in the teeth...I really don't need this today...
I hated having to tell her no (well, not hated...but I did feel a little bad)...I know if we co-sign for her we'd never see that money. You don't "lend" my sister money...you give her money. I just can't believe this...
TTC 12/2009
Me: 32 - Stage II Endo / DH: 36 - Low count and morphology (1%)
IUIs 1-3 BFN, lap Dec. 2010, IUIs 4-6 BFN
IVF w/ICSI #1 - ER 2/8: 24R 19M 9F ET 2/13 2-5 day blasts (no frosties) = BFP - b/g twins!
E & C Born 10/19/2012
Me: 32 - Stage II Endo / DH: 36 - Low count and morphology (1%)
IUIs 1-3 BFN, lap Dec. 2010, IUIs 4-6 BFN
IVF w/ICSI #1 - ER 2/8: 24R 19M 9F ET 2/13 2-5 day blasts (no frosties) = BFP - b/g twins!
E & C Born 10/19/2012
This discussion has been closed.
Re: This is a joke, right? (NIFVR)
Oh my..what a mess!
Good for you for standing up for yourself and saying no, though.
So what's going to happen? Is the wedding off?
TI, IUIs, IVF = c/ps and BFNs
What a cluster! I am so sorry! But so proud of you for saying no!! What was her reaction?
TTC#1 since 2004
LGBT
4 cycles @ home with known donor - BFN
RE un-medicated IUI cycles # 1-7= BFN
NEW RE Clomid 50mg/ Ovidrel/ IUI #8 BFN
Took long break
Nov 2009 - Clomid 50mg/ Ovidrel/IUI #9 = BFP
Beta 12/4 - 10...Beta #2 12/7- 28 Beta #3 12/9 - 80!
1st sonogram 12/28 - slow hb and growth
m/c 1/1/2010 Courtland 8w0d
Nov 2010 cycle cancelled - polyp removal/hysteroscopy
April 4 2011 - IUI #10 BFFN
July 5, 2011 - #11 BFFN AMH .62 Boo
Ditto to everything M said!
7 IUIs = All BFNs
2011: March IVF #1.2 = e/p @ 6w: May IVF #2 = BFN: July sFET #1 = BFN
2012: Jan We're Certified FC/A Parents
May IVF #3 = c/p
June-Nov Foster Mommy to M (Toddler)
July FET #2 = BFN
Aug FET #3 = BFN
Sept-Nov Foster Mommy to Baby Bella (Newborn)
Nov HSG/Sono = Clear!
Dec FET #4 = BFN
2013: Feb FET #5 = m/c @ 6.5w
May-July Foster Mom to H (8 yr old girl)
June/July/Aug IVF #4 = Freeze All
July = Unofficially Adopting T (10 yr old boy)
Sept FET #6 = TBD
**PAIF/SAIF Welcome**
I honestly don't know at this point...I'm just in disbelief...I asked her if her fiance's family could help out (since his family has contributed nothing financially for the wedding so far) and, to quote her, she said they "don't have a pot to piss in so if you have any other ideas, let me know."
Me: 32 - Stage II Endo / DH: 36 - Low count and morphology (1%)
IUIs 1-3 BFN, lap Dec. 2010, IUIs 4-6 BFN
IVF w/ICSI #1 - ER 2/8: 24R 19M 9F ET 2/13 2-5 day blasts (no frosties) = BFP - b/g twins!
E & C Born 10/19/2012
wow is right.
i am so sorry you have to deal with all of this.
TTC #2 since June '08
~*DD 10.21.07*~
dx unexplained
IUI #1-4 BFN
IVF#1 June 2011 BFN
IVF#2 Dec 2011
Beta#1 12/21 : 812 Beta#2 12/23 : 1634
EDD 8/25
*PAIFW/SAIFW*
wow
the sad thing is someone will come through in the end and she'll never learn her lesson
Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its troubles, It empties today of its strength. ~Corrie ten Boom
Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says I'll try again tomorrow. ~Mary Anne Radmacher (thank you beadinglady)
It's been a long journey. TTC since 9/06. multiple IUI's and IVF's and 4 m/c's. IVF#3 = BFP, twins, induced at 34w6d due to baby b passing away (no explanation). Delivered on 35w1d, Baby A - baby girl, and Baby B - baby boy, our little angel.
MTHFR A1298C & C677T, Immune Issues and Factor II
You're right. My parents (well, my mom) has never let her fall flat on her face. I think she would have but since my sister has the grandkids, she plays that card a lot. "Oh mom...the boys need new clothes", "Oh mom...I need $$$ for new winter coats for the boys", and the list continues.
Me: 32 - Stage II Endo / DH: 36 - Low count and morphology (1%)
IUIs 1-3 BFN, lap Dec. 2010, IUIs 4-6 BFN
IVF w/ICSI #1 - ER 2/8: 24R 19M 9F ET 2/13 2-5 day blasts (no frosties) = BFP - b/g twins!
E & C Born 10/19/2012
Wow, too bad it's not a joke. UGH!!!!!!!!!!!
Taking a loan for a wedding, seems F-ed up to me. Just tone down the wedding. Good for you, for standing ur ground. You would have been giving her a 3k wedding GIFT.
Holy Crap!
I am sorry you were put in that position.
Very glad to hear you stood your ground on this and you should not feel guilty your sister just sounds like a hot mess! (no offense)
Dx: PCOS, Anovulatory, Amenorrhea 2006
TTC: Sept 2008
IVF#1 Cancelled due to breast biopsy.05/01/20
IVF#1.2- 9/2010 - Cancelled Oversurpressed
IVF#2 Microdose Lupron 10/2010 Beta 11/09=BFN
IVF#3 2/2011 - 2 blasts(2/25) Beta 03/11 =BFN
IVF#4 Lupron 01/02 =2 blasts, beta's 1-4 198,234,398,3100!!BFP
FET 3/2014 2 blasts BETA 3/20=BFP TWINS EDD 11/27 TEAM PINK!!!
Dx -Ute cancer, DOR from cancer treatments, and embryo quality issues. NOV 2010 CANCER FREE
2005-2011= 3 Rounds of Clomid, 5 IUI's, 3 IVF's- ALL BFN's
After 7yrs TTC, 5yrs of ute cancer, and 11 failed IF treatments, we got a surprise BFP! So thankful!
Gemma Grace born 09/30/12
Phillipians 4:6,7
OMG. I can't believe she dumped the responsibility of funding her wedding on you!
Go you for saying no!
TTC since March 2009 // Me and DH - 28
Testing Summer/Fall 2010 - Unexplained IF
IUIs #1-4 ~ Clomid/Ovidrel/TI/IUI ~ all BFNs
IUI #5 ~ Femara/Ovidrel/TI/IUI ~ BFN
IUIs #6-9 ~ Research Study Meds/Pregnyl/TI/IUI ~ all BFNs
IVF Consultation, More Testing
Diagnostic Cycle ~ Mucinex/Progesterone/TI ~ BFN
IVF #1 ~ Menopur/Bravelle/Ganirelix/Novarel/Progesterone/Lupron
7R, 6F // 2 transferred // 3 frosties ~ BFN
FET #1 ~ Estrace/PIO/Lupron
3 thawed // 2 transferred // 1 lost // no more frosties ~ BFP!!
Beta #1 - 456 // Beta #2 - 1176 // Beta #3 - 2933 // Beta #4 - 6753
EDD: May 16, 2013
Bedrest for SCH // 6w2d through 10w1d
Elevated TSH and Lazy Thyroid DX @ 10w - Started Synthroid
Finally released from RE at 13w
~~ My IF Blog ~~