My Fi has decided to end the relationship/custody questions
dmndsr4eva
member
We started counseling a month ago and in our last session he said that he is giving up. He said that he doesn't want to work on the relationship anymore.
We have a year and a half old son. So I am now preparing myself for the custody battle. I suspect he is going to go in asking for full custody and of course I will do the same. He has two children from a previous marriage and the mother has full residential custoday and he pays her child support. He doesn't even have a visitation schedule with them. He just sees them as time permits for him and them. Usually about one day a week.
Does anyone know if his current situation with his other children has any bearing on our situation? Like will the judge take into consideration that he only sees his other kids once a week? Or will the judge take into consideration the amount he currently pays in child support?
Re: My Fi has decided to end the relationship/custody questions
Yeah, I just feel like an idiot. I guess I should have seen that he had no family values or desire to keep his family together. I am so heart broken.
Well my Fi only has 3.5 years left on his current cs because they ended it at 18 years old. So I guess I will probably need to go back to court in 3.5 years. Sounds like until then I won't be getting very much from him.
One situation has nothing to do with the other. My H has custody of his daughter but BM still has her 3 other children (because none of the other fathers are present in their lives). During our custody battle nothing having to do with the other kids was brought into it because it had nothing to do with them. Don't you want your fiance to be a part of your DS's life? If he sees him less that's his own problem but ultimetely it's what's in your childs best interst to have both parents so don't fight how much he is gonig to see him and just because you are pissed. It sucks to say but you probably won't see as much CS because of the other children. For each child what I have seen is the amount goes down significantly because it will be based on both of your income and his available income is reduced by the amount he currently pays in cs. Don't take anything I say as concrete. You need to talk to an attorney.
I do want for him to spend time with his dad but I am certainly not going to agree to giving him full residential custody and if that is what he is going to ask for I need to figure out how I am going to fight it. That is the only reason I thought the judge might take the way he parents his other children into consideration.
I agree that if I am awarded child support it probably won't be much for now but I guess in 3 years I might have to go back to court when his current support ends. Hopefully he won't have anymore children....
Sounds like he will want full custody so he doesn't have to pay. Consult with a lawyer before agreeing to anything. Get everything you want in writing - don't try to be a nice guy and let him slide. You need to think about your son.
Good Luck and sorry you're going through this.
Guess what...get used to going back to court on a regular basis. That's the "wonderful" thing about having a child in a split marriage/relationship. It's PAR for the COURSE, especially if the two of you can not work out an amicable relationship for the sake of the child.
If you want to know how to go about fighting it - get a lawyer. Lawyers are good at figuring out what to do and how to go about it for you. Failure to have a lawyer or a CO will more than likely result in you spending more time and money in court and not getting the most/best out of the situation. That includes financials, visitation, and any other important details that important to the well being of your child.
When the parent paying CS is figured up, the courts (atleast in MO) figures that amount (other child support) in the current CS amount that has to be paid. There are other various amounts that are figured in the CS amount as well i.e. health and dental coverage, time the other parents keeps the child for over night visits, other children in residential custody etc. If your FI does not have this in a CO then it holds no water and it can not be figured in your CS amount.. (most of the time)
LIke I said, in our situation BM's other children were not a factor at all so chances are it will not be in your situation. He is going to have to proof you unfit and as long as you respond to all allegations and do what you are supposed to do chances are it won't happen. You need to sit down and have a consultation with an attorney to see what there thoughts are. Just try to focus on your case and your case alone. It might be important to disclose that he has other children and all that stuff but his relationship with them is not going to matter. I will say the only thing we brought up in regards to any of BM's other children was that the reason we were seeking custody is because BM's youngest child was abused by her boyfriend which caused him to go to jail, her to get kicked out of the home and her to live in 4 homeless shelters for 6/8 months.