CS question

christine_marie

X and I don't have a CS order or visitation. He lives 3 hours away and stays with his mom on the weekends so he can see DS. We rarely have disagreements about him getting DS. He gives me a set amount of money each week and is good about getting it to me. Am I hurting myself by not having anything legal? The only reason I can see needing to get an order is in case we stop being on good terms with each other. Is there any other reason?

Raspberry807

My ex and I had nothing legally in writing, but agreed on everything for 2 years, though he was only giving me 2/3 of the support amount he should have been.  We didn't have any problems, but I documented everything anyways.

Then he got his gf pregnant and I immediately filed for child support through the county, because I had no idea if he would keep paying or not.  And if SHE filed for support first for their child, my kids wouldn't have a chance.

We have a notarized Parenting Agreement that we wrote ourselves at least, but we have never argued about parenting time.

Jessys_Girl

Lurker here.

My DH and his ex started out doing things the way you are doing them and it worked great for them.  He gave her a set amount each week, he saw the kids, he even bought her a car (used, but something she could get the kids around in).  They wrote reciepts and documented everything just to have a record.  A while down the road she filed for a change in her food stamps (she was recieving state aid: food stamps, medicaid for the kids, etc.) and the state realized that DH wasn't paying CS through the courts.  They "came after" him because in MI, if the custodial parent is on state assistance the non-custodial parent is required to pay CS and part of the CS goes to recoup the state's cost for providing aid to the custodial parent.  When the state "came after" my DH for it, he and his ex went to court amicably to determine everything.  They presented the reciepts to the court  what DH had been paying to her directly.................and the courts wouldn't accept them, even though his ex verified that he had been providing support.  They wouldn't accept them because the monies hadn't gone through the state system and therefore the state hadn't been able to get it's "cut".  They considered the money a "gift" from DH to his ex.  They slapped him with $10,000 in arrearages and he almost went to jail.

So, I'd be careful.  We're STILL paying off that debt (only about $1200 more to go!!)

christine_marie

I'm going to file. I've had the papers for almost two months because I was unsure about what I wanted to do. I finally filled them out today and I'm going to return them tomorrow. I feel good about my decision, I just don't know ho to tell X or if I even should.