Cincinnati Babies

Moms of three or more

Question... what was the hardest thing about going from two to three?  What do you wish you had known before you had a third? 

Obviously not pg, but trying to figure out if our family is complete or not.  I seriously am already thinking about starting TTC maybe in the next 6 or so months.  Am I crazy?  Maybe!

Mr & Mrs - 10/15/05
Elijah Matthew - 5/3/07 ~ Adalyn Rosemary - 3/23/11
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Re: Moms of three or more

  • Well, I went from one to three, so my responses may be a little different in some situations, but hopefully you can relate. The biggest change for me was that you move from a man to man defense to more of a zone defense as you become outnumbered by the kids. If everyone is crying at once, you can only attend to them one at a time. You have guilt not being able to help everyone at the same time. Someone is always left out or last to be attended to. I am constantly saying, ?I only have two hands!? I guess I say this a lot too because now when I ask Katie to do something for me she replies back, ?Mom, I only have two hands, I will get to you in a minute.?

    Ugh! You become more of a logistics and planning manager of the family. It?s no longer DH can take Child A to gymnastics while I take Child B to soccer practice. Every trip requires planning and careful consideration that you have all necessary items with you. You need to merge all schedules to ensure that each child is taken care of at the appropriate time. I see this only getting worse as they enroll in more activities through school. I might have to limit what they can join so I don?t lose my mind.

    Basic care becomes an assembly line. All 3 are now in the big tub together so I just go down the line of parts to be washed until everyone is clean. As I remove them from the tub, Joe is the finisher of putting on the pj?s and diapers. I imagine myself doing the same assembly line of fixing three little girl?s hair in the morning. I can just see them now all lined up at the bathroom sink. Laundry is a full time job and just the sorting matrix of everyone?s clothes can be frightening. Ha! You need to run a load of laundry and the dishwasher at least once a day just to stay afloat because if you leave it for later, good luck!

    You have to think about your car and if you have the space to hold everyone and everyone?s belongings. Minivans or large SUV?s are almost needed with a family of 5. You can get away with a sedan or small crossover, but it will be tight. Also storage of items within your house can pose a problem. You can get away with a 3 bedroom house and having the kids share, but the amount of items can get overwhelming. I?m constantly purging something or changing out clothing that has been outgrown just so I don?t have clutter. I hate clutter!

    Obviously, expenses go up with a larger family. Three in daycare is considerably more than my mortgage payment now. It?s not putting a strain on our finances as daycare expense are only about 40% of my paycheck, but it would be nice to have that extra money. However, the upside is that while most families struggle to put their kids into private education, with 3 in a catholic school, we will actually be paying about half of what we pay to put them in daycare. So, we will see a savings when all 3 are in school. That will be nice. But, then we have to put 3 through college. We are saving now for that, and I just hope we have enough. On top of that, we already have a wedding fund set away for all 3 girls. Can you just imagine if all 3 want to get married in the same year ? shoot me now!

    I just think about little things that bother me as well. For example, when they are older and we are at King?s Island as a family. Either a kid has to ride alone or a parent is riding by themselves on a roller coaster. You move from an even numbered family to an odd numbered family. Eating out will require a longer wait since you need more room to sit a family a 5 versus a family of 4. Traveling requires getting a larger hotel room or two adjoining rooms. I don?t want to have to have someone sleep on a pull out sofa for a week.

    This may be geared for my unique situation, but I worry about them as teenagers especially the twins. All three going through the time of the month together will be hell on earth ? again just shoot me now. Drama that will ensue when they begin to date ? who eyed that boy across the room first. Prom dress shopping and god forbid what will happen if they want to wear the same dress.

    Then I think of the pros which are probably more for me as I watch them grow. When my kids are having kids, they will have more aunts and uncles versus just having one. More kids to play with or just to talk to. More hugs and kisses for mommy and daddy. Watching each one help each other out and teaching each other. Learning patience, respect for others, and overall just learning to be a family. I think my pros apply for any family, but I just see it more with my 3 kids now.

    Oh and its funny too because I only wanted two kids and Joe wanted three. At the ultrasound for the twins, Joe blurted out, ?Ha! I got my way and you got yours. You only wanted to be pregnant twice and I got my three kids out of it!? I wouldn?t trade my 3 girls for anything in the world and can?t imagine my life without them.

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    Katie: 1/16/08 2lbs. 15oz.
    Abby & Emily: 12/31/10 6lbs. 2oz. & 5lbs. 7oz.
  • My situation is unique because I have 2 most days and 3 every other weekend. In our situation the oldest is 4 years older then the middle one so she can do many things on her own (dress, bathe etc) but she is still young enough (6) that she enjoys the stuff that the 3 year old does. DH and I do alot of divide and conquer. for example, he will put the older two to bed and I put the baby to bed. We are on the fence about another one ourselves but not for some time. :) I have definitely come to appreciate the independence that comes with age.

    For us the bedroom situation and car situation was big. Having three girls basically means we can decorate the rooms and the girls can do the bedroom roulette as they get older and needs change. As for the car, a van or cross over was a must due to 3 carseats. Can I admit I am looking forward to them no longer needing car seats? :)

    Clothes, toys etc is another concern but again we have all girls so it ended up not being an issue for us.

    We have college funds but we have decided we will not be paying for all of our kids' schooling. We both had to work to pay for school and agree that we took it more seriously since we had a stake in it.

    We are looking at moving to a better school district so private schools isn't an issue for us. We also have a family member watching the kids so what we pay in daycare is an absolute steal.

    For me it isn't so much about the money etc, it is about whether our family is
    "complete".

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  • Having the last 2 so close together I had a lot of guilt and because at the very beginning DD needed so much attention, you really do do need DH to be on board and very hands on.  I made sure if I couldn't tend to DS2 DH could and even now bath times etc are a little challenging.  The next  one hopefully the little ones will be a bit older.  Yes we are on for #4 in a few years :)
    DH - 42 Me - 36 DS1 -15 DS2 - 3 DD - 1
  • I can't speak to the issue of having three kids yet, but my two are 20 months apart, and even though I haven't been doing it long, I love that they're so close together.  It's not as tough right now as I thought it would be (though it's not easy, either), and I love the fact that B doesn't know any different, and that A is already in love with her big brother.  Having them so close in age will be wonderful!
    Brady 7/29/2009 Avery 4/1/2011
  • imageIAM4UK:

    On top of that, we already have a wedding fund set away for all 3 girls. Can you just imagine if all 3 want to get married in the same year ? shoot me now!

    My DH has two sisters and they all (including DH) got married in the same year - at one point they were all in college at the same time too!  His parents are still standing - so you'll make it if it happens :)

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