Am I setting myself up for trouble? re:naps/sleep

That.Just.Happened

I am still BF and our routine is that E nurses down for her naps. She doesn't necessarily fall asleep nursing, but it is part of our routine: we go upstairs, change her diaper, put her in her sleep sack, then she nurses while I'm sitting in the rocker and goes straight from that into the crib.  Sometimes asleep, sometimes not.  Regardless, I put her down and leave the room and she can put herself to sleep.  Sometimes she goes right to sleep, sometimes she will cry for 30 minutes.  I think that mostly has to do with if I have caught her at the exact right time for her nap (i.e. if I am too late for whatever reason, that tends to be when she cries, but she always eventually falls asleep and takes a good 1.5hr nap).

She is 9 months and I plan to stop BF in the next 3 months.  I never thought I would make it this long to begin with, and I have a girl's trip in November that I don't want to have to pump on, so my goal is to be done by her birthday in October.

I am worried that since her routine for naps is to nurse that it is going to totally mess her up to stop that.  I'd like to start addressing that now if possible so that there aren't a bunch of major changes all at once when I wean her.  Should I go ahead and start trying to change her routine?  Or should I just assume that once she is weaned I will give her a bottle in lieu of BF before naps?  Also, I know that at a year, they can have regular milk: is that in place of BF/formula, or in addition?  At that point is their primary nutrition from regular food?

Her nightime routine has always been a bottle of formula so that DH can do it, so I know she is fine with that.  I would ideally like to be able to simply change her diaper and put her in her crib and walk away for naps, rather than having to feed her then as well.  Is it possible to change her routine like that at this point, or have I created a situation where she is going to have to nurse/have a bottle as part of her routine?  I am fine with CIO, but I want to be fair to her and not just totally rock her world if possible.

Any advice would be great!

myrall

I actually went back to work right as Geneva hit 9 mos. I had been nursing full time up to that point and was doing something fairly similar to you re: naps. When I went back to work, it was too late for my body to figure out pumping, so I just gave Geneva a bottle of formula for daycare. That actually started the slow weaning process we undertook over the next few months.

As I increased my hours at work, Geneva ended up taking a second bottle at daycare. I was nursing her first thing in the a.m., around 4 p.m., before bed, and then an early a.m. feeding that she refused to drop until 11 mos. Geneva absolutely refused to take the formula plain, so I ended up mixing in YoBaby Yogurt with it (with the okay of my pedi). By the time Geneva hit 11 mos., I transitioned her to whole milk for the bottles when she was away from me and I continued to nurse her in the mornings and before bed. That lasted until I dropped the the morning feed at 13 months. 

When weaning, you definitely want to take a slow and measured approach. Allow yourself and your kid time to make adjustments. I averaged dropping about one BF feed a month to be totally weaned by 13 mos. And that was starting at 9 months. My child had no issues with the dropped feeds. Some kids are just ready like that - others may have separation issues.

You can try just not feeding her before the nap to see what happens. If I can recall, I somehow managed to get Geneva to eat AFTER she woke up from naps at that age. But my brain's all fuzzy now. HTH!

KT&John

I would try to switch her so she feeds when she wakes up. It depends on the child as to how hard it is to make changes to routines/habits but if you stick with it she will get it.

At one year, barring any weight gain issues, she can have just whole milk and table food.

That.Just.Happened

Thanks!  Yeah, we did the EASY method for the first few months of her life (where she nursed right when she woke up rather than when she was going down) but then her naps went to sh!t at around 4 months so I started nursing her down just to get her to sleep, and unfortunately we stuck on that routine.  I will try switching it up and see what happens, can't hurt I guess.  I'd actually like to keep the one BF session that we do first thing in the morning if possible since that is sort of our snuggle time (she comes into bed with me), but I'm not sure how realistic that is with this trip I am going to be taking in November.

slwprincess

With Gavin, I worried about this too but he figured it out and it was never a huge issue.  The main thing is that she CAN put herself to sleep.  I really think that once they have that skill, it doesn't matter so much if you execute naptime perfectly everytime... that skill never goes away.  I'm doing the same thing as you with Sophie except that she rarely falls asleep nursing so she usually goes in the crib drowsy but awake.  She plays with her paci (doesn't suck on it though- I have weird kids!) and passes out.  And this morning, I put her in her crib watching her mobile while I took a shower.  When I came out, she was asleep- lights on and everything.  Maybe I just have good sleepers- but I guess I'm just saying, don't stress too much about this stuff.  Have a good nap/bedtime routine and stick to it when you can and go with the flow when you can't.

ebearwife

Around 12 months P (who nursed some until 15 mos) was OK either way - nursing or not nursing before naps/bed.  I think the older they get the less they rely on that for going to sleep.  It was more in my head that she needed it than reality.  That was the case for us anyway.

Isaac was totally on formula by nine months - self-weaned - and around ten or eleven months, I offered a bottle at nap/bedtime, but he is OK with or without, too.  He likes a bottle upon waking in the morning but otherwise he will just let me know when he wants one during the day...he gets a little fussy and my mom intuition kicks in.  I am really ready to wean the bottle but he makes a huge mess with sippies so....

Maybe its just my kids but they seem to need the bottle or breast less as they get older.  They both still like their stories read though.

If you plan to wean, I would advise just dropping the one feed at a time over several weeks like Myra said.  Count on some discomfort but you can manage that with ibuprofen and ice packs usually.  I would advice being good and done by the time you go on vacation unless you want to be in some walmart buying a pump out of desperation.

hthomas02

I did what you did (for bedtime, not for naps) and never had any problems with the transition.  For naps we did eat, play, sleep.  But for bedtime it was bath, stories, nurse, bed.  They all would inevitably be sleepy and like you said, sometimes would fall asleep but sometimes would be awake but sleepy and went right to sleep on their own once I placed them in the crib.  When I weaned, we did a bottle for about a month after their 1st birthday when they switched to milk and then eventually they just dropped that last bottle on their own and went to bed without it and their last milk was with dinner.  So if you have bath and storytime and then bed, just keep up with that and they'll be fine without it!  good luck!

californiafrog7905

KT&John:

I would try to switch her so she feeds when she wakes up. It depends on the child as to how hard it is to make changes to routines/habits but if you stick with it she will get it.

At one year, barring any weight gain issues, she can have just whole milk and table food.

This!  I can't speak from too much experience with weaning (HC sort of decided when she was done, around 14-15 months; totally would have kept going if not for that), but I agree with being gradual if you can (and you've got 3 months so that ought to do it) and seeing how it goes.  Naps will sort themselves out eventually!