Single Parents

Is this reasonable?

As i've mentioned in previous posts, ex is involved with a sex trade worker. This gives me the heebie jeebies and I can't help but wonder if he has contracted any type of STD or God forbid, AIDS. I couldn't live with myself if ex somehow passed something on to DS. When they do have contact (which is only maybbe 3 hours every 2 months) I am always there but it still worries me.

Is it unreasonable to ask him to have an AIDS/STD test and provide me with results? I know for a fact he does NOT use condoms with her and I highly doubt she does while she's "working". 

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Re: Is this reasonable?

  • Disgusting.

    You can ask him to get a test done, but what are the odds he'll actually follow through with it? If he's stupid enough to not use protection, he's stupid enough to not want to know the results of an AIDS test.

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  • imagePrettyInPearls23:

    Disgusting.

    You can ask him to get a test done, but what are the odds he'll actually follow through with it? If he's stupid enough to not use protection, he's stupid enough to not want to know the results of an AIDS test.

    Disgusting doesn't even come close. 

    I was tested 3 times throughout the course of our relationship including when I was pregnant so I know he didn't have anything then.

    He just thinks he's invincible and it scares the hell out of me.

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  • It would take tongue kissing with concurrent open mouth sores or sex for your ex to transmit HIV or most STDs to your son.
  • That's disgusting.  I am not sure if a court would order an AIDS/STD test to be done because, even if he did have something, it's HIGHLY unlikely he'd pass it to DS.  I would think it's worth asking your lawyer's advice about though.

    BTW, isn't he a drug user as well, couldn't remember.  This got me thinking about SD and what kind of STDS (haha, SD, STD, get it??) he might have contracted from sex with various crack slores and shooting up meth.  EW.

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  • imageachase123:

    That's disgusting.  I am not sure if a court would order an AIDS/STD test to be done because, even if he did have something, it's HIGHLY unlikely he'd pass it to DS.  I would think it's worth asking your lawyer's advice about though.

    BTW, isn't he a drug user as well, couldn't remember.  This got me thinking about SD and what kind of STDS (haha, SD, STD, get it??) he might have contracted from sex with various crack slores and shooting up meth.  EW.

    Ha ha, I get it Smile

    Yes, he is a drug user. Mostly cocaine and weed but I wouldn't rule out anything else. 

    I do realize i'm being paranoid and I know that you can't pass on AIDS by sneezing or anything. 

    Yes, i'm paranoid. I guess i'm doing my job as a mom...

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  • imageAmandaJordan1985:

    Ha ha, I get it Smile

    Yes, he is a drug user. Mostly cocaine and weed but I wouldn't rule out anything else. 

    I do realize i'm being paranoid and I know that you can't pass on AIDS by sneezing or anything. 

    Yes, i'm paranoid. I guess i'm doing my job as a mom...

    Interesting.  When the court mediator asked SD today what had been his drug of choice (to determine if the findings would show up in his bi-weekly tests) he said oh, mostly coke, which is what he has been telling me.  What is strange is that meth was what I found in his truck, and what he was arrested for approximately five times.  Indifferent

    Not that one is ANY better than the other, but coke seems to be a bit more of a "posh" drug so-to-speak that typically is done when people are more affluent. It's like he felt a little better saying he was a coke head versus a methed out tweaker.  A drug is a drug is a drug as far as I'm concerned! 

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  • imageachase123:
    imageAmandaJordan1985:

    Ha ha, I get it Smile

    Yes, he is a drug user. Mostly cocaine and weed but I wouldn't rule out anything else. 

    I do realize i'm being paranoid and I know that you can't pass on AIDS by sneezing or anything. 

    Yes, i'm paranoid. I guess i'm doing my job as a mom...

    Interesting.  When the court mediator asked SD today what had been his drug of choice (to determine if the findings would show up in his bi-weekly tests) he said oh, mostly coke, which is what he has been telling me.  What is strange is that meth was what I found in his truck, and what he was arrested for approximately five times.  Indifferent

    Not that one is ANY better than the other, but coke seems to be a bit more of a "posh" drug so-to-speak that typically is done when people are more affluent. It's like he felt a little better saying he was a coke head versus a methed out tweaker.  A drug is a drug is a drug as far as I'm concerned! 

    Coke is one of those drugs that is "glamorized" alot. Ex was in to crack, got clean of that, then decided coke would be a good alternative. 

    Coke does NOT make you any less paranoid than meth. I've seen him high and you wouldn't believe it...hiding things in couch cushions, looking out the window constantly, looking like a deer-in-the-headlights for hours on end and not being able to breathe properly.

    The similarities between ex and SD are uncanny...

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  • imageBostonGayGal:
    It would take tongue kissing with concurrent open mouth sores or sex for your ex to transmit HIV or most STDs to your son.

    This.

     

    imageAmandaJordan1985:
    imageachase123:

    That's disgusting.  I am not sure if a court would order an AIDS/STD test to be done because, even if he did have something, it's HIGHLY unlikely he'd pass it to DS.  I would think it's worth asking your lawyer's advice about though.

    BTW, isn't he a drug user as well, couldn't remember.  This got me thinking about SD and what kind of STDS (haha, SD, STD, get it??) he might have contracted from sex with various crack slores and shooting up meth.  EW.

    Ha ha, I get it Smile

    Yes, he is a drug user. Mostly cocaine and weed but I wouldn't rule out anything else. 

    I do realize i'm being paranoid and I know that you can't pass on AIDS by sneezing or anything. 

    Yes, i'm paranoid. I guess i'm doing my job as a mom...

    In a way, I totally get where you're coming from.  (and I'm NOT trying to be snarky here, so please don't read this as such).  I think that teaching your child uneducated fear is a DISservice to him.  Honestly, you're probably never going to know if your ex has a disease.  And it's not your right to know his medical information.

    What you CAN do about it is be proactive and teach your DS about "universal precautions".  Teach him never to touch someone elses blood or body fluids without gloves or protective gear on (I don't know how old your son is, so of course this has to be explained at an age appropriate level).  Teach him that when he has a cut or scrape to ALWAYS keep it covered.  If you teach him these universal things to protect himself, then your ex's STD status will not matter.

     

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  • imageAmandaJordan1985:
    imageachase123:
    imageAmandaJordan1985:

    Ha ha, I get it Smile

    Yes, he is a drug user. Mostly cocaine and weed but I wouldn't rule out anything else. 

    I do realize i'm being paranoid and I know that you can't pass on AIDS by sneezing or anything. 

    Yes, i'm paranoid. I guess i'm doing my job as a mom...

    Interesting.  When the court mediator asked SD today what had been his drug of choice (to determine if the findings would show up in his bi-weekly tests) he said oh, mostly coke, which is what he has been telling me.  What is strange is that meth was what I found in his truck, and what he was arrested for approximately five times.  Indifferent

    Not that one is ANY better than the other, but coke seems to be a bit more of a "posh" drug so-to-speak that typically is done when people are more affluent. It's like he felt a little better saying he was a coke head versus a methed out tweaker.  A drug is a drug is a drug as far as I'm concerned! 

    Coke is one of those drugs that is "glamorized" alot. Ex was in to crack, got clean of that, then decided coke would be a good alternative. 

    Coke does NOT make you any less paranoid than meth. I've seen him high and you wouldn't believe it...hiding things in couch cushions, looking out the window constantly, looking like a deer-in-the-headlights for hours on end and not being able to breathe properly.

    The similarities between ex and SD are uncanny...

    Is it weird that I have NO idea what the difference between all these drugs are? I only know what cocain and weed look like (X's brother actually started to roll up a joint on my coffee table when I was pregnant) but other than that I wouldn't have a clue what it was if I saw it.
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