How do I let go of hatred towards my DH/DD's Dad?

mrsolsen2000

I feel it's unhealthy how much I hate my soon to be XH right now. I don't want DD to pick up on it. She is still young so hopefully I have some time to get over everything. Ugh, I feel like I am being poisoned with hatred.

Any tips? I guess the hatred is there for a reason, as we were always reconciling, then splitting up. The hatred lets me know it's not healthy for us to be together. Anyone in a place where they can talk to their XH/SO in a healthy way about the kids?

achase123

Why do you have to talk?  I recommend texting/emailing.  The anger will go away/subside but it takes time. 

PrincessFiona9

I agree with communicating via text or email. That way you have time to think out any responses before sending them. Also so you will have documentation if he is threatening or harrassing you. If he does call, let him leave a voicemail.

It might help to go to counseling, or if you're religious you could go to church more often or meet with a spiritual advisor. Eventually the hatred will fade away. It's been over a year here, and I have been able to let go. Of course I still dislike EX and think he's a total douchebag, but I don't feel the passionate hatred toward him like I used to.

PrettyInPearls23

It's one of the stages of grief, and unfortunately, the only thing that will help is time. For me, anger came and went quite a bit, but when I finally accepted that STBXH is the person he is and nothing will change that, it helped me to let go of the anger.

AmandaJordan1985

It's a slow process and like pp's said it might come and go, but eventually you will accept he is who he is and be able to move on.

I have to agree with text/email communication. If I had every conversation with ex over the phone I actually would be in a worse place than I am now. Hearing his voice gets me worked up and it's just much simpler the other way.

Don't worry, you'll get there eventually.