Awkward Question from DS...Help
something happened to DS today that is something I never even thought would happen and he asked a question that completely caught me off guard.
My 8 year old DS came back from a BBQ at a park with some friends. He and another boy used the restroom and thats where things got weird. DS is circumcised, and the other boy was not. DS had never seen "the other kind" before and asked his freind about it. DS's friend told him that DS's thing had been cut, but his parents (DS's friend) loved him so much that they wouldnt allow anyone to hurt his.
When DS got home, he asked me about this, and I really wasn't quite sure what to say or how to anwer. I never really expected this question, and am actually a little upset another kid would impy we didn't love DS (although I am assuming the other boy got this at home from his parents).
Has anyone else dealt with this? Does your DS know if he is/is not circumcised? What age was he told or did he find out? And, how many boys actually are circumcised/uncircumcised?
Sorry for a long, rambling post, but I'm not really sure how to answer DS's question or how to deal with this.
Re: Awkward Question from DS...Help
my son is only 3 1/2 so we haven't gotten to this yet. however, the kid probably said what he said b/c that's how the parents explained it to him. now, they probably meant no harm and didn't think that their kid would be discussing this in the bathroom. so what I'd say in this situation is ... some have this done for either religious or health reasons, some do not. it's another way people can be different. it does not mean I love you any less, if fact, I love you so much that I felt, based on what I know, that it was a good decision. I definitely don't want to see you hurt. but it's like when you get a vaccine. it hurts for a minute but I believe it will keep you healthy later.
I'm with Halo. I would explain the people have all sorts of differences and this is one of them.
As for how many boys are actually circ'd/not circ'd, the number currently is about 50% in the U.S. In the world, about 80% of men are NOT circumcised.
I think in this situation, I would start by explaining what circumcision is and why it's done. Explain your reasons honestly: did you do it for religious reasons? cultural? hygienic concerns? so he'd be the same as his dad? The reason itself doesn't matter, but your son will need something rational to counteract the idea that this other kid has suggested that parents circumcise boys to intentionally hurt them.
Then I'd move on to the really important concept you want to cover, and that's the idea of privacy and keeping your private parts private, even from the eyes of other curious little boys.
Wikipedia has a very well-cited article about circumcision rates and prevalence in different countries. Many studies conclude that about 56% of male newborns are circumcised in hospitals just after birth, but that the actual number of circumcised males in the US is probably higher (closer to 80%) which can be accounted for by people who have babies circumcised after leaving the hospital for religious or personal reasons, and boys and men who are circumcised when they are older.
I agree with Halo! Just explain that every one is different.
And the statistics are probably WAY off, because at the hospital that i had my son at, they DID NOT preform and Circs there at all. All male babies if they want it done have to go to another Dr. My OBGYN actually did my sons a week or so after birth.
I don't believe that 80% of the world isn't circumcised.
Here's a link with the estimations from WHO (World Health Organization). It is from 2007, and I do stand corrected, but they estimate ONLY 30-33% of males aged 15 and over are indeed circumcised.
Most of the world is NOT circumcised (~70%).........
https://whqlibdoc.who.int/publications/2007/9789241596169_eng.pdf
it is more popular in the US than in other countries, and since the US doesn't cover most of the world, then it is totally plausible.