When did you tell people you were adopting?

potatohead

When did you tell people...like the majority of family and friends about your plans to adopt?  Was it before, during, or after the home study?  What about those of you who planned on fundraising?

Dr.Loretta

Family:

For my family, they had followed our family planning struggles along the way, so there was no announcement. It just became the focus of conversation. DH's family didn't know anything until we chose an agency.

Friends:

Close friends knew along the lines of how my family knew. Friends that were more of the Christmas card variety got a note in our Christmas card when we went active.

We did not do fundraising.

jenn985

We let our family know once we had researched and really decided that this was something we could afford (maybe!) to do. At that point, we picked out our agency and started working on paperwork. That was a could of months ago, and we start "the process" with our pre-adoption seminar tuesday and wednesday. We have been telling friends along the way :-)

hillaree

We told our family and close friends once we made the "official" decision to adopt. We're signing with a lawyer this week, so now I'm wondering if/ when we tell our other friends (like people at church, FB friends, etc.). Good luck!

Jermysgirl

Pretty much as soon as we decided on adoption, we started telling people. 

Heavncentt

For us, we made the decision to actually pursue adoption and found an agency we wanted to work with. We then signed the contract with the agency and turned in all of the paperwork. At this point, we told our parents and my brother by wrapping up a framed adoption poem to announce our intentions. It was our way of doing the whole "your going to be grandparents"....we just don't know when exactly yet...since we wouldn't be able to do that upon getting the positive pregnancy test.

In our situation, our families had NO idea we ever were thinking about adopting.  So, it was a complete happy surprise.

Heavncentt

oops, forgot...

DH told his boss at work pretty early on, only because he was scheduling up front for like 3 weeks off when baby arrived. We knew he wanted that much time off so he filled everything out and had it on file for when the call came through.

My boss didn't know a thing until he actually had to fill out the employer paper verify my work status. I only worked PT and knew once baby arrived I would be a SAHM so I didn't care if they knew nothing and we got the call the next day.

Some close friends found out when they did references for us. Friends and the rest of the family didn't find out until we sent his birth announcement when we came home from the hospital. We are very private people, so this worked for us.

bunkl

We are also pretty private.  

Family = once we chose an agency

Close friends = generally, when we finished our homestudy and went "live"

Work = we told a few close colleagues when we were matched (March 2011)

Broader scope of friends and work colleagues = in June 2011.  Baby is due at the end of August.

We went back and forth on who to tell and when to tell them.  On the one hand, you want to share things with your circle of family/friends so you can share in the excitement and receive support during the emotional rollcoaster that "waiting" can bring. Also, many matches occur through personal outreach, as opposed to using a facilitator, so telling everyone early may make sense for you.  On the other hand, we were very nervous about a failed adoption  (which did happen to us last fall), and wanted to shield our broader set of friends and colleagues from having to be disappointed for us. 

sw_in_kc

All of our family knew before we even applied, as they shared in our IF journey. Most of our friends knew as well before we applied, due to the simple fact that we were open about our IF struggles.

We felt overwhelming support from everyone, and that helped us during the adoption process too.

cogbot

My close friends and family all know.  My husbands family doesn't know yet.

alisonemma

We started telling our family and friends when our application to the agency was approved.  Strangers, if they'd ask about our children status, when we were matched.

bhead81

Most of our family and friends knew about our IF struggles and our desires to adopt so they are aware of our foster/adopt process currently.  There are a couple friends who aren't aware but its because we aren't as close with them as our other friends.   We will tell them once we get certified.

mrstarawalsh

We've only told close family members or people who would be directly involved. So far only my mom and my husband's cousin knows of our intentions. I don't think I will be telling anyone until we secure placement in our home.

ByHisGrace7

We told our immediate families as soon as we decided 100% that we were going to adopt and signed up for our first info session about adoption. We were nervous as anything to tell them but they were so happy for us. We told our friends and pretty much everyone else (Facebook) a couple of weeks after that...we weren't going to announce our plans yet because we are kind of private and shy people but we figured that we needed to get the word out to as many people as possible!