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Two Under 2
Thorns and stings
And those such things
Just make stronger
Our angel wings.
~Terri Guillemets
Vent- upset with DH =(
I do not know where else to turn, I just need to vent about DH.
I am 36 weeks pregnant and have a 20 month old. This pregnancy has been awful, I have had multiple health problems (my LO is doing great though), which has landed me in the hospital 2 times over the last 3 weeks.The stress has been overwhelming and I know I am depressed because of it all.
DH is military and has a busy schedule, but training has been slow and he has had some down time over the last month. He has really let me down in the way he has been resistant to helping me out and his overall attitude.
Here is an example. Last week I was in the hospital all day Wednesday and just wanted to take it easy over the holiday weekend. DH had it set in his mind that he wanted to go to Costco. I told him I did not want to go on a holiday weekend and I was too tired. He got annoyed and made some snide comments.A huge fight ensued and I was basically packing my bags to go stay with my parents. I feel like I may have overreacted but his lack of sympathy/understanding and rude comments enraged me.
I have expressed to him how sad it makes me when he says rude things to me/is not supportive of me during this tough time. He says he will work on it, but always goes back to his nasty comments. Last night he got home from work and was being so rude. My toddler was having a melt down and I put him in time out and DH said I was doing it just because I was in a bad mood. It really hurt my feelings and was totally out of line IMO and I told him so. He felt bad for saying that and took DS to the park and tried to make me happy the rest of the night by doing chores etc.
I do not know what to do. I know if I was healthy and not mentally/physically drained I could handle his attitude/rude comments better, but I am at my wits end. I still love him but I really do not know if I can ever forget how he has treated me during this time. I am honestly thinking of leaving him.
Thanks if you have gotten this far!
Thorns and stings
And those such things
Just make stronger
Our angel wings.
~Terri Guillemets
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Vent- upset with DH =(
First, Hugs! I have been there. All three of my pregnancies involved multiple hospitalizations, with my last pregnancy having my appendix out at 23 weeks. I was on bedrest from that point to 33 weeks when I delivered prematurely.
I recall having my surgery on a Sunday, and coming home Monday afternoon. DH "could not take off work" so my parents got me from the hospital, and kept the two boys (8 months and 27 months) for the day, but were going out of town the next day, so two days after abdominal surgery while pregnant, I was home on my own with a baby and toddler. We napped on the living room floor because I could not lift them..... DH came home, and had the balls to ask what I planned on for dinner ......
I am not trying to compare, but just let you know that through counseling, I learned that being hospitalized pregnant, ect is pretty stressful on them too. Not an excuse, but My DH prettymuch hibernated at work because he was so freaked. I had to straight up tell him that It hurt me, I COULD NOT do it, and he needed to not only step up, but also change his attitude. It was hard. and I am sorry you are feeling like this. Complicated pregnancies are hard enough without your hubs being complicated too. Maybe a night or two at your parents where they would help/take care of you too would not be a bad idea. Just for a break all around.
Thanks so much. He has expressed it has been really hard on him as well (which I totally understand). He has had to pick up a lot of the slack around the house and deal with a grumpy wife. I just wish he could be there for me emotionally instead of shutting me out and saying rude comments. I feel like he should be my biggest support and instead he has made this whole experience much more difficult.
My Mom is awesome and is coming to stay for a long time after the baby arrives. I am thankful I have at least one person who supports me and cares about me unconditionally.
pregnancy is hard, especially with a toddler. I can't imagine having health issues too. I have a husband who is gone a lot so its mainly me. It was a VERY trying time while I was pg with DD, but we got through it. Communication is key IMO. Talk to him when you arent in the heat of a fight or right when he gets home. After LO goes to bed, sit down and talk calmly. Spend some time together, go on a date...you need to reconnect. I hope it gets better soon. I can tell you that things get a lot better when you arent pregnant anymore and have energy back, your body back and everything else.
This!