Parenting time schedule...

Rainingdaisys

My 4.5 month old has been having parenting time every Tuesday and Thursday from 5pm-6pm and every sunday from 1-6pm (used to be 2-6 until this month)  He wants more time.  I can't stand seeing him this often!  And it is so stressful on weeknight, running home from work to nurse LO saying hi to my 10 yr old, running back out the door to meet ex and going back home to make dinner, say hi to 10 yr old, pump, run back out door, and fit soccer games in there for 10 yr old some days!  ARGG....

We will be going to mediation soon.  I know he expects a lot more.  I am hoping that once LO is older, I would like it to be one weeknight and every other weekend, like all day Saturday and all day Sunday, but no overnights until he is older. Does that sound reasonable?  Or am I wrong here?

What is your parenting time like with your ex for an infant? 

PrettyInPearls23

I fully understand you not wanting to see your ex -- I don't there's a single one of us on here who enjoy seeing our ex. However, you need to remember this arrangement isn't about you and your feelings or emotions. It's about your DS developing a relationship with his father. You need to remind yourself of this. More importantly, this number of visits per week is actually better for your DS -- he's fairly young, so it's appropriate to have more frequent visitation for less duration. As he gets older, there will be less frequent visits, but for longer durations.

 

For example, my DS was 8 months old when STBXH moved out. We immediately agreed to an EOW (with overnights) for visitation. Since then, we've also agreed to add in Wednesday evening visits, but he has yet to utilize them. But, the option is there if he wants to take advantage of it.

 

Was my DS a little young to be doing EOW w/ overnights right off the bat? Maybe. But it worked for us and I felt comfortable with it. Besides, those "off" weekends for me have been a huge help in getting my head on straight during all of this and helping me to become a stronger, more independent woman which also makes me a better mom to my son.

fauxshelley

Is there some reason why your ex can't come pick up the baby for visitation?  Perhaps he can pick up and you can drop off.  And why don't you take your 10 yr old with you when you go?  Are you leaving him/her home alone while you do this?

Rainingdaisys

Yes my 10 year old stays home.   The exchanges happen at the local police station 3-4 blocks away.  My 10 year old, almost 11 years is legally able to stay home 10 hours alone in my county.  However, I never let him stay home alone more then 2 hrs.  But, that has nothing to do with this.  My 10 yr old does not like to come along, as he does not want to see my Ex.  and I do  not blame him.  When he has come with he ducks his head down and slinks in the seat.

Rainingdaisys

PrettyInPearls23:

I fully understand you not wanting to see your ex -- I don't there's a single one of us on here who enjoy seeing our ex. However, you need to remember this arrangement isn't about you and your feelings or emotions. It's about your DS developing a relationship with his father. You need to remind yourself of this. More importantly, this number of visits per week is actually better for your DS -- he's fairly young, so it's appropriate to have more frequent visitation for less duration. As he gets older, there will be less frequent visits, but for longer durations.

 

For example, my DS was 8 months old when STBXH moved out. We immediately agreed to an EOW (with overnights) for visitation. Since then, we've also agreed to add in Wednesday evening visits, but he has yet to utilize them. But, the option is there if he wants to take advantage of it.

 

Was my DS a little young to be doing EOW w/ overnights right off the bat? Maybe. But it worked for us and I felt comfortable with it. Besides, those "off" weekends for me have been a huge help in getting my head on straight during all of this and helping me to become a stronger, more independent woman which also makes me a better mom to my son.

 

I have no problem with the frequent visits.  We were not married nor lived together since around the time I became pregnant.  We do exchanges at the local police station parking lot.  Not feeling comfortable to meet elsewhere.  (long story)  We used to have the police present when he came to my home, then they asked us to go to their parking lot and we had them present.  Now we just meet in the parking lot, no police present.  As I stated, I am fine with frequent, short visits as all the research states that is best at this age.  I am just wondering what others were like and what was common.  We will be going to mediation soon.  There are currently no legal visitation rights and I was trying to get an idea of what to expect and see what is "normal" visitation for a young infant.

fauxshelley

Hmmm, that's not a choice I would make as a parent of a 10 year old, but to each their own.  My XH visited with our son at my home, under my supervision until the baby's first birthday.  There were extenuating circumstances, though.