Mixed feelings about "red-shirting" for K

KellyOsu23

I know this has been discussed, I have chimed in sometimes but I just am having mixed feelings for it.

We have a Early July Birthday (DD) who is 3, and a end of June birthday (DS) who is 1

My hubby is 100% wanting to hold both kids until they are 6 to start school so they are not the youngest, etc.

I TOTALLY understand this for my DS, and its common in OK just because boys mature later and alot of it has to do for sports in OK (Not our reasons though)

My DH's reasons fall along the lines of doesnt want them to 17 when they graduate, doesnt want them to be last to drive, be 21, etc. I also think selfishly he wants another yr with them at home.

We plan to have 4 kids, and I really FEEL that DD is ready. She is really really smart and I am afraid that even if we do all day pre-K we would be holding her back (my DH argues that then she would just be advanced in her classes, smarter, AP classes etc.) Dh was the top of his class so academics are important to him.

DH's huge point that makes me think it WOULD be a good idea is that DD is gymnastics with 3-4 yr olds this past spring, she was 2.5 at the time and although she looks the age, she was having a hard time socially and with instructions, she probibly would be fine now but just those 6 months were hurting her.

 I know I have a little bit of time to think about it, this yr I have her in MDO 2X a week again where as all her "friends" are going on to pre-school. I figured we would do pre-school next yr (when she is 4) then Pre-K when she is 5, then K when she is 6. But now I am wondering if I am making the wrong decision.

I know this is long, and you wont make the decision for me but I just wanted to get it all out there.

jessica1080

I talked to my mom about this over the weekend.  I went to school when I was 4 years old and my birthday is October 11th so I was always THE youngest in my class.  She thought I was ready and my friends were all going so they sent me.  Like your husband I was always at the top of my class and in the honors/AP classes, so I never had any trouble academically.  The only thing my mom said was hard was when everyone else was getting their licenses and getting to car date and I couldn't.  Some of my friends were almost an entire year older than me.  I graduated and started college at 17.

howleyshell

Dylan turns 5 at the end of July.  (ticker wrong)

I totally get your mixed feelings.

I STILL don't know what we're going to do.

He's signed up both for public K (starts early August) and for a pre-K program at a local day care center that's outstanding (85% of the kids are reading before starting K).

I have no fears about his ability to handle academics but have huge concerns about how he'll fare socially not just next year but for the following 12 to come. 

It's a tough decision.

And I've got to pull the trigger - SOON. 

KKMMex

I think you'll probably have a better feeling about your decision, whatever it may be, during her pre-K year. 

My older DD has an early June birthday.  She turned 5 last month.  My gut feeling has always been that she would transition well into K despite her summer birthday, and her pre-K teachers agreed with me.  They did testing and evaluation of all the kids this spring and they gave me a lot of helpful feedback about her strengths and weaknesses.  It was good affirmation.

DD's pre-K program this past school year was 5 days a week, 6 hours a day and she never seemed tired or out of sorts when I'd pick her up in the afternoons.  I do feel that sending her to pre-K 30 hours a week was good preparation.  DD is a very extroverted child who loves the social side of school - IMO she would have been bored with a lesser school schedule.

I did enroll her in public school kinder and we plan on sending her in August.  I had an opportunity to provide her new school with information regarding her strengths and weaknesses, which they will use to match her with a classroom/teacher.  I pulled the info straight from her preschool report.  I'm hoping for the best possible transition, fingers crossed.

Good luck with your decision when the time comes!  I hope it becomes more clear-cut as the time draws nearer.

 

n&bcarlson

I think this is a decision you need to make on a per-kid basis.  DD is a mid-August birthday, just 3 weeks before the cut off in our area.  We are sending her to pre-K3 in the fall and will see how she does.  Assuming she does okay, we'll do pre-K4 the following year, and then will trust the teacher of that class to advise us if there is a reason not to move forward to K when she turns 5.  She will be going to the same school for K-8 as for pre-K, so I know the teachers are invested in helping us make the right decision, and will know just what she needs to be ready.  I don't see the big deal about graduating at 17, by the way.  I would have been thrilled at that age to have it all over with and move on to college.  It would have tortured me if I had known that I could have graduated if only my parents hadn't held me back (without a good reason, of course)!  Maybe put her in pre-K4 when she turns 4 and see what happens.  She can always repeat the year if it isn't right for her.

HarrietNJMommy

n&bcarlson:

I don't see the big deal about graduating at 17, by the way.  I would have been thrilled at that age to have it all over with and move on to college.  

You probably don't see a big deal because it didn't happen to you. I graduated at 17. Started college at 17 and didn't turn 18 until AFTER my first semester of college. I was at least a year younger than most of my classmates (if not more). I went to an engineering school and I saw a real issue "socially". Academically, I was fine. I even graduated at the top of my class in HS (#9 out of 500).

At this point in my life, it would NOT have made any academic difference to start a year later, but it would have done wonders for me socially - which is the big reason that people "redshirt" their kids. There is something to be said about social confidence, especially in the very awkward middle and high school years.

I don't have to make that decision for any of my kids since DD#1 and DS miss the cutoff completely and will be on the older side and DD#2 is a May baby. I have no intention of "redshirting" her - no reason as of now.

The book "Outliers" by Malcolm Gladwell touches on "redshirting" and the reasons to do it. Maybe take a look into it?

I do agree with everyone else though - it really is a decision that you and your DH have to make.

I don't know anyone that has regretted "redshirting" their child. But, I do know plenty of people that regret NOT "redshirting" their child.

GL! 

capulet

We are starting to discuss this for DD.  She is 3.5 and her birthday is October 10.  The cutoff date to start kindergarten here is December 1, but we're moving to a city where the cutoff is Sept. 1, so I'm trying to decide if I'm even going to bother trying to find a kindergarten (public or private) that will take her in 2012.  It is very possible, since this is a one-year job for DH, that we will move mid-year to a district that would have started her in the fall of 2012, and it seems like it would be hard for her to start kindergarten mid-year (not that they would insist she do so, presumably, if she wasn't eligible to start in another district and is close to the cutoff anyway, but I would be tempted to have her try it).

DD began preschool this past fall at almost 3. I enrolled her in two different schools, each two mornings a week, because I liked both of them, one would only accept her two days a week anyway (the other days were just 4 year olds), and I wanted to see how she would handle it - if she had any trouble adjusting in either case, I had the option of withdrawing her.  She did well at both.  One of her teachers emphasized how well behaved she is and she will even remind other kids to listen to the teachers (I'm sure they love that!) when they're not paying attention.  I've spent time in her classroom and around her classmates in other situations, and she really is better behaved then some of the kids who are two full years older than her (and were redshirted).  The same teacher told me she thought she'd be ready to start kindergarten in a year.

As far as academics, she knows most of her letters and is starting to grasp the idea that each letter makes a sound, letters together spell words, etc.  So I'm not really concerned about her academic preparation for kindergarten - if she continues on this trajectory, she may well be reading in a year.  I worry that if she starts kindergarten when she's almost 6, after three years of preschool, she'll be bored in school once she starts or once she gets a grade or two in and her age + her native intelligence put her well ahead of her classmates.

My concerns are that she's very small for her age, around 20th percentile height/weight, so in addition to being younger than her classmates she's obviously smaller.  I'm not sure this matters so much for girls, but it is something to consider.  More importantly, I'm concerned about her social development - her self-confidence mainly, because she can be rather shy and timid, and her ability to interact on an equal plane with older kids.  DH and I were both in the youngest quartile of our grades, and while we were both quite successful academically, our relatively young age might have affected our social development.  I don't think that would have been a reason for either of us to be redshirted, but DD is more of a borderline case.

The argument that younger kids will be the last of their friends to drive, etc. has always seemed like a red herring to me, because you start driving at the same age whether your friends do or not.  I know kids care about this when they're 16, but to me it seems a bit silly - maybe because most of my friends weren't in my graduating class, I don't know.  And personally I was eager to be through with high school and start college; in college, even if you're a bit socially inept, it's a lot easier to choose your school and find your niche.

I think in any case there will be disparities between her and her classmates - I'm just not sure if it's better for those disparities to be academic (the point of school is to learn, after all, and finish so you can go on to do something else) or social.

caymanbride

I haven't read the other responses, but...

 Both my boys are end of July birthdays. Unless there is a specific reason, they will go to kindergarten a month or so after they turn 5. I honestly don't see a reason to wait an entire year. DS1 already knows a lot of what they teach in kindergarten.

I'm an early August birthday, and I NEVER felt too young. So what if I graduated when I was 17? Big deal -- I turned 18 2 months later.

I'm a high school teacher, and there is NO difference between the kids who are summer birthdays and those who are 6 or so months older. It does not matter one single bit, unless they already have issues. (And for those who do, it's certainly not because they are a bit younger than their classmates.)

 As a 'younger' student through my academic years, and a teacher now, I can honestly say I've never heard this talked about IRL. Just here on the Nest/Bump

sourapplemartini

jessica1080:

I talked to my mom about this over the weekend.  I went to school when I was 4 years old and my birthday is October 11th so I was always THE youngest in my class.  She thought I was ready and my friends were all going so they sent me.  Like your husband I was always at the top of my class and in the honors/AP classes, so I never had any trouble academically.  The only thing my mom said was hard was when everyone else was getting their licenses and getting to car date and I couldn't.  Some of my friends were almost an entire year older than me.  I graduated and started college at 17.

All this, except my birthday was Nov 4th. 

MooByrd

As a kindergarten teacher I'm more FOR red-shirting than against it - especially with boys. Even if they are academically ready, alot of the 5 year old boys this year in my class were just not socially prepared for the new rigor of Kindergarten. Here in MD, kindergarten has become the new 1st grade and the expectations that are put on the kids now are alot different than when we were in school (less play time, more DIFFICULT work, etc.) The 6 year olds fared much better, and none of the other kids knew the difference. I don't think an early June birthday is too late, espcially for a girl since they seem to mature faster. August - December birthdays (for those states that still have those late cutoffs) I would definitely hold back, but like other posters, you know your child best......

Teachk

Current K teacher here....give them both a grow year.  I know what everyone is thinking. I don;t know your child or  what they are capable of doing.  That is very true.  But, I offer experience.  It shows when they reach about third grade.  They separate socially.  As for the K year, I find summer birthdays with more difficulty making independent decisions, being a leader, participating, being confidence...they may seem on to you, but do they still act that way in a class of 25, where some are a year older.

In my class this year, 12 out of 25 children turned 6 within Sept-Nov.  They were a full year older than the summer birthdays.....thats half the class.

 

Additionally, Kindergarten is not the Kindergarten you remember from childhood.  It is now first grade.  They will learn to read, write a full paragraph, take tests, be graded on these tests to be taken independently, have report cards that count and take standardized tests.  They will have homework and very long days (full day).

When you think if they are ready academically, also think...can they make an independent decision on a test, will they express confusion and the need for help, will they be tired at 11:00, will doing homework be pulling teeth.  There is very little time for play in a K program...how do they do with less down time than preschool offers.

All children are different.  I do not know yours.  Personally, I have a daughter turning 3 in August, 15 days before the cutoff here of Sept. 1.  She will not go to 3's this year.  She will go to 4's for 2 years and then to K when she is 6.  I KNOW from experience that this is the best decision...even though I am not sure what type of child she will become by age 6.  Will she be bored because she is older.  Any teacher that is a true teacher will meet your child where they are and challenge their individual needs.  So, I have no doubt that my DD's 2 years in 4's will not bore her.

 

Check out your current school district's K web page.  See if they poster routines, homework etc.  It may give you a picture.

MG7

Another teacher adding in her thoughts...If holding back is something you will be able to do financially (another year of daycare can be pricey) do it. So often children are pushed into things they aren't ready for. Our curriculum and most others as well are very challenging. Students are writing books and often reading, beginning to retell in K. These are tough skills for such little kids. The problem I see is that often kids are identified as struggling in K, really start to fall behind in 1 but because first is a tough grade they're often given the benefit of the doubt. By the time second grade rolls around friendships are really established and parents are horrified at the thought of leaving their child back a year. The difference between second and third grades is HUGE. When you make this decision you really have to think about how you would handle things like the possibility of retention, how will you potentially handle your child being the biggest or oldest in the grade if left back and leaving behind friends? Keep in mind that waiting a year to start K has nothing to do with admission to AP classes in High School also I don't think I'd put too much support into that argument.

lami22005

I have agonized over this decision and I am a teacher, as well.  My twins have early September birthdays, and my younger dd has an October birthday.  Well, the cut-off date is changing in CA, so my twins could technically start in 2012-2013.  But my younger dd will not be able to start "on time" because the following year the cut-off date that year is October 1st.  So I decided since she has to wait, I am going to hold my twins back, as well.  

 Also, school starts in early August, so my twins would be 4 years old for about a month.  Supposedly, the trend in our district is not to red shirt, but I am trying to think ahead.  I know what I expect of my 2nd graders, and even though I'm sure they could do it, I don't want to have to "push" them.  Also, my kids have different strengths, and with both, I think the extra year could really be beneficial.  Also, I rather have K be "easy" for them, and supplement at home.  (But like a PP stated, a good teacher should be able to meet their needs).  Good luck...I know it is a difficult decision.  I am just glad I had a little help with this cut-off date changing in CA.  

 

 

Court0026

It is interesting to read all of the replies.  DH and I were both fall babies and among the youngest in our classes with Sept and Oct bdays.  We both did very well in school and socially and I have never questioned it.  I am a teacher (on leave, but worked 1/2 day with struggling kindergartners and 1/2 day resource) who as seen all kinds of kids who are ready and not at all ready.  At this point we will send DS when he is 4 turning 5.  He is already academically ready for kindergarten in many areas (knows letters, sounds, makes up rhymes, is beginning to read by blending sounds, counts by 2's, 5's, 10's, 100's, recognizes numbers to 60, etc.) and seems to be doing well socially.  He begins preschool in September, so we can see how that goes...I hope he enjoys the social aspect. 

Court0026

I am not sure what the distinction is where you live between preschool and pre-k, but for us, if it is a state-funded pre-k program (like a universal pre-k), you cannot be kindergarten eligible and qualify to attend. 

franciscaz

I agree with the PP who said I would wait till the pre-k transition and see how she does.  That is the method we will do for our twins.  I think it is a tough decision and needs to be made only when you get a good gage of how she is doing in pre-school and what her teachers think.  I would make it a kid by kid basis b/c the research suggests but it doesn't know your child (unfortunately we have to make it as a sibling decision b/c I've got twins but ideally I would make it a kid by kid basis). 

capulet

Teachk:

Current K teacher here....give them both a grow year.  I know what everyone is thinking. I don;t know your child or  what they are capable of doing.  That is very true.  But, I offer experience.  It shows when they reach about third grade.  They separate socially.  As for the K year, I find summer birthdays with more difficulty making independent decisions, being a leader, participating, being confidence...they may seem on to you, but do they still act that way in a class of 25, where some are a year older.

In my class this year, 12 out of 25 children turned 6 within Sept-Nov.  They were a full year older than the summer birthdays.....thats half the class.

Additionally, Kindergarten is not the Kindergarten you remember from childhood.  It is now first grade.  They will learn to read, write a full paragraph, take tests, be graded on these tests to be taken independently, have report cards that count and take standardized tests.  They will have homework and very long days (full day).

When you think if they are ready academically, also think...can they make an independent decision on a test, will they express confusion and the need for help, will they be tired at 11:00, will doing homework be pulling teeth.  There is very little time for play in a K program...how do they do with less down time than preschool offers.

All children are different.  I do not know yours.  Personally, I have a daughter turning 3 in August, 15 days before the cutoff here of Sept. 1.  She will not go to 3's this year.  She will go to 4's for 2 years and then to K when she is 6.  I KNOW from experience that this is the best decision...even though I am not sure what type of child she will become by age 6.  Will she be bored because she is older.  Any teacher that is a true teacher will meet your child where they are and challenge their individual needs.  So, I have no doubt that my DD's 2 years in 4's will not bore her.

Check out your current school district's K web page.  See if they poster routines, homework etc.  It may give you a picture.

I have a couple of questions pertaining to the bolded parts, which is not to pick on you specifically (anyone can answer these who feels like it), but your response covers several issues I'm concerned about:

1. Does kindergarten being more difficult translate to higher achievement at the end of children's school careers?  Because otherwise I question the increased difficulty of kindergarten as an educational policy issue.  What is the point of graduating a high school class that's a few months older overall, holding them out of college and the workforce that much longer, unless they are that much better prepared for life after high school?  What I've read indicates that the advantage for redshirted children disappears after a few grades.  And at least one person has mentioned that you should hold your borderline child back "if you can afford it" - well, it seems like the kids whose parents can afford it are probably advantaged anyway, so of course they are more likely to succeed in school, and making kindergarten more difficult just increases the advantages for better-off kids whose parents can afford another year of child care/preschool vs. poorer kids whose families cannot.

2. "They separate socially."  This could counteract my belief that the advantage for redshirted kids disappears for a few years, but what does this mean?  Does it have long-term ramifications?  I was on the younger side for my grade and a lot of my friends were in lower grades.  I don't think this was a bad thing.

3. Why would you not send your daughter to 3s preschool and at least see how it works out for her?  If it doesn't, you can always withdraw her, and if it does, she has that much more preparation for kindergarten.  This was my reasoning and it seems to have worked out well for my DD so far.  I can't imagine that I would ever regret this extra year of academic and social development she's had.  If nothing else, she's had a lot of fun.  If I did have reason to regret it, would it be because she would be *too* prepared for kindergarten?  Then that's not a problem with her, it's a problem with the educational system.

I probably shouldn't weigh my experience 30 years ago into this decision, but I was bored sh!tless in first grade and my parents withdrew me and put me in a private school until they could get me into my district's gifted program.  At this point I don't even know where we'll live, so maybe DD's experience would be a lot different, but I'm not counting on the expectation that a good teacher will challenge her at whatever level she is, whether it's a matter of skill or just limited time and resources.  I know parents in really excellent districts who can't count on that for their kids. I'd rather have her be at the same level as her peers.

I'm kind of resentful that kindergarten has changed so much, to be honest.  It seems like education should be accommodated to kids instead of the other way around.  As I've said, I have serious qualms with it as a policy issue, because it seems like it reinforces the achievement gap between richer and poorer children.  If kindergarten is the new first grade, then states had better be funding whatever the new kindergarten is for kids who need it, which it sounds like they won't if they're eligible for kindergarten by birthdate.

KellyOsu23

Thanks for everyone chiming in.

I really appreciate! The teacher comments helped alot. I know we still have time but I found the comments really interesting.

And your right, I was under the assumption that K was still the same K I remember and that reading wasnt even touched until 1st grade.

wellfleet04

What is your cut off that you're already considering holding back June birthdays?  I don't think June is that young.  My kids are May birthdays and it's never occurred to me to hold them back. Late August with a 9/1 cut off I understand, but holding June birthday kids just as a matter of course so they won't be the youngest (meaning you don't have an specific concerns about them on a kid by kid basis) seems like gaming the system, to me at least.  

I mean, SOMEONE has to be the youngest.  Where does it end?  Will K be all kids who have already turned 6?  Not saying you in particular, but this trend for people who have the resources to hold their kids back really irks me, because it changes the entire game for both kids whose parents do not have the resources, as well as kids who are age appropriate and doing developmentally appropriate things, but in class with kids who are a year older then them.

I think it's incredibly sad that K has become so difficult and academic.  I don't believe for one single second that it's making our kids smarter or more creative.  I'm not sure what to do about it, but reading books like The Case Against Homework, and seeing the decline of creativity and free play in our kids, and watching the Race to Nowhere makes me sad for our kids and their new pressures that start way too young.     

n&bcarlson

To the mom above who mentioned not turning 18 until your second semester of college, did you skip ahead a grade?  When I said I didn't see the big deal about graduating at 17, I meant that in my DD's case, as with anyone facing a 9/1 cutoff, she will turn 18 in August before college begins.  You're right, being barely 17 when you graduate might be a different issue, so someone looking at a 12/31 cut off might make a different decision.  I do know that my brother in law skipped a grade early on because he was smart academically, and I do think it hurt his social development.  But I also stand by what I said that I would have been very upset to have been held back a year if my parents had made that decision without first letting me give it a try because I already spent my senior year of high school leaving at noon so I could take classes at the community college.  I was academically and socially ready for college at that point, so if I had known that I could have been there for real "if only" would have been beyond frustrating.  My best friend actually did start a year late, but only after she started K as one of the youngest in the class and proved that she wasn't able to handle it socially.  I'm just saying that no one answer fits every kid, and as another poster pointed out, someone has to be the youngest.  It seems that if all June, July and August kids start opting for redshirting, in a few years the April and May parents will be questioning this same decision, and then where does it end?

HarrietNJMommy

n&bcarlson:

To the mom above who mentioned not turning 18 until your second semester of college, did you skip ahead a grade?  When I said I didn't see the big deal about graduating at 17, I meant that in my DD's case, as with anyone facing a 9/1 cutoff, she will turn 18 in August before college begins.  You're right, being barely 17 when you graduate might be a different issue, so someone looking at a 12/31 cut off might make a different decision.  

Nope, didn't skip a grade. My birthday is in December and finals ended the day of my birthday. I was 17 all first semester in college.

I WAS supposed to skip 8th grade as well. My parents refused (I was ahead academically). I would have been 16 starting college. Talk about social awkwardness.........

I CAN tell you that I know MANY people who "redshirt" their kids. They take their decision VERY seriously and don't do it just because. They feel it's the best decision for a multitude of reasons.

HarrietNJMommy

n&bcarlson:

But I also stand by what I said that I would have been very upset to have been held back a year if my parents had made that decision without first letting me give it a try because I already spent my senior year of high school leaving at noon so I could take classes at the community college. 

I was 2 years ahead in math. I took college calculus junior year of HS. I, too, got out at 1pm senior year with no math to take and I had a few college courses as well. I was more than ready academically for college, despite the fact that I was 16 entering my senior year of HS. 

I'm not sure how starting K a year later would have made your situation different. You still would have been able to do the same thing your senior year, you would have just been a year older..... 

shopgirl78

My DD birthday was the day before K started.  She has been in daycare since she was a small infant, she was surely socially and academically ready.   She was in the top reading group this year.  She has done so awesome and is moving on to 1st grade.  Her BFF is the oldest in the class; she has had no issues socially.   I have no worries about her last year and this coming year.  We also don't live in an area with lots of redshritting, so that factored into my decision.  Not sure how it will be years from now but we will take things as they come.   I managed to survive and get an MA being one of the youngest too. 

DS1 is just after the cut off; MH wanted him to start earlier but we are so not doing that : )

pea-kay

I don't really have any input on this (thankfully, the boys' December birthday means they'll be among the oldest in their class.) but I will say with a January birthday (the cutoff growing up was Dec 31) I was always one of the oldest, and I liked it. If the boys had a questionable birthday (say a few months earlier, before our Oct 1 cutoff), I'd definitely hold them back. But they're boys, and immature.

Jinsy80

I don't think it's done too often around here in my section of NY. Kids start when they're supposed to. Both of my girls will probably be 17 when they graduate. DD1 is a July baby, DD2 is a November baby (she meets the 12/1 deadline by one day). 

jerol

As for my own personal experience- I am a Nov. 17th bday (in a school system that had a Dec. 1st cut off) so I was 17 for almost the first semester in my college.  The only way that I was affected growing up or in school was that I couldn't buy alcohol at a bar as early as all my friends

As a teacher- (I have taught 2nd and 3rd grade for 15 years) I have had maybe one or two students a year I recognized that they may have been slightly behind because they were a younger child- almost always boys!!

 As a parent- DD#2 will turn 5 next year on 8/14 and the cutoff is 8/31.  She has zero interest in learning but has picked alot up in her full-time preschool last year as a 3 year old.  We are waiting to see what we will do.....1) she has another year in preschool so we will ask her teachers 2) we will take her to the Kindergarten screening next spring and 3) my oldest will be a K student there this year so we will know the expectations.

 

As for as K teaching reading....this year in the K-3 assessment they are expected to know 52 sight words at the end of Kindergarten - in addition to letter sounds and blends.  We already have received the list of words to work on this summer!  Thankfully, DD knows most of them (she loves to read!) so I am not that stressed about it but I will be next year when DD2 is heading to K.

jenreally

I am back and forth on this myself. DS1 will turn 5 on Aug 2 and school starts Aug 8 (cutoff is 9/1). I know of several kids who were in his preschool program who have late Aug birthdays and they are all going to kindy this fall anyway, just like my son.

Redshirting is common in my area. DS1 has several friends outside of his preK program who are being held back by their parents and won't start K until next year.

DS1 is smart, but quirky. He is already reading and doing math on a second grade level. He's learning about space and how to tell time. But I worry about his social skills. I don't think keeping him back is going to help with his social stuff ... he's always going to be a little quirky, a little on the spectrum (he doesn't meet the criteria for anything, fortunately AND unfortunately). So I'd rather him go and be challenged academically instead of being held back a year. Because if he is bored on top of being a little "off" ... he'll get labeled so fast by the school system it won't be funny. 

His PreK teachers think he'll be OK. I've talked with teachers in this district who tell me to basically ignore the first half of the schoolyear ... NO ONE is ready for kindergarten, and all that goes into it. It will be an adjustment for ALL of them. But if he's still struggling in January, re-evaluate then.

We feel like if he has a bad year, and just isn't ready to move on to 1st grade (socially, mostly; we're not expecting any academic troubles), then he will repeat kindergarten *at a different school*. I would feel bad if he repeated and his friends moved on and he knew he was supposed to be with them. THAT is my biggest concern at this point, frankly.

And I can talk about this all day because I'm back and forth on it. I've heard "no one regrets redshirting" which makes me feel like I should do it. But what would I DO with this brilliant kid all day long every day for the next year? He would bankrupt me demanding to go to the science museum every day

PhilsWife07

We will more than likely hold DS1 (Sept 4) and DS2 (Aug 17) back until they are 6 for a number of personal reasons. We have a Sept 30 cut off here. I personally wouldn't hold a June or early July birthday back though unless they really weren't ready.

SymphonyGirl

I graduated from high school at 16 and college at 20.  I never had trouble socially or felt left out because of being younger and I was in the top of my class academically.  So, I guess I never really understand the whole idea of holding kids back to give them "extra advantages."  I also wasn't devastated to be last to drive or unable to drink at bars in college. No big deal to me.   So, I would say, if you feel like your child is ready for school at 5, send her to school. 

shannm

FWIW, I turned five in December of my first year of kindergarten. It was never an issue socially or academically for me. I would have been an awkward teen no matter what.

PhilsWife07

I think most research has shown that the advantage tends to be for boys, over girls, as boys tend to mature at a slower rate than girls.