Did you have a 2nd baby shower?

sahmommytimestwo

I know I don't normally post here, sorry. Anyways, I was given 2 showers for DS and now that I'm expecting again everyone keeps asking be when/if I will be having a shower for the newest LO. I know its not exactly "etiquette" to have a shower for your 2nd but everyone keeps bugging me and I've even had a few offer to host. Especially if I have another boy then I don't see much of a point in having another shower.

So, did you have a shower for your 2nd?

howleyshell

Nope.

I have several offers to host one for me as well and politely declined.

I'm not comfortable asking for more baby gifts for a 2nd child.

It's bad form IMO. 

sahmommytimestwo

howleyshell:

Nope.

I have several offers to host one for me as well and politely declined.

I'm not comfortable asking for more baby gifts for a 2nd child.

It's bad form IMO. 

 

I agree. By having a 2nd one, I almost feel as if I'm being greedy. The only answer I've been able to give the ladies whom offered to host is "I'm not sure" but I really want a way to tell them NO but not come off as rude.

Mama Jan

I did.  In my area, it's very normal to have showers for 2nd+ children.  They're usually smaller events and often people just get diapers or clothes.  Honestly, I did need more clothes since the boys were completely opposite seasons (February and July).

If someone offers to throw one, why not?

sahmommytimestwo

Mama Jan:

I did.  In my area, it's very normal to have showers for 2nd+ children.  They're usually smaller events and often people just get diapers or clothes.  Honestly, I did need more clothes since the boys were completely opposite seasons (February and July).

If someone offers to throw one, why not?

 

We CD so I wouldn't really need any diapers but since DS in a July baby and this will be a January baby, I would need clothes. If I do end up having one it will be small.

MsShib

I agreed to a "Baby Sprinkle." I did not register and my friend specifically told guests that I did not want them to spend money on gifts and that this was to be a time to get together and welcome my new baby. People still brought me some gifts, mostly because they get excited and want to buy cute stuff. We decorated onesies for my baby, ate, drank lavender mimosas, and had a wonderful time.

Oh, and my daughters will be about 12 months apart! 

kcisthebombdotcom

sahmommytimestwo:

howleyshell:

Nope.

I have several offers to host one for me as well and politely declined.

I'm not comfortable asking for more baby gifts for a 2nd child.

It's bad form IMO. 

 

I agree. By having a 2nd one, I almost feel as if I'm being greedy. The only answer I've been able to give the ladies whom offered to host is "I'm not sure" but I really want a way to tell them NO but not come off as rude.

Why not say "you and all my other friends/family were so generous for my first child, so I'd prefer not to do a shower again. Why don't we have a "sprinkle" or a get together after the baby is born?"

I think the concept of a sprinkle or "meet the baby" party for a 2nd child is fine.

I think the idea of having a shower complete with gifts/registry is tacky.

You don't have to have a "shower" if your friends want to celebrate a new baby.

12bailey18

Yes, I did. My friend's offered to throw me one. It was a couples shower with all of the kids there too, a lot of fun. It was just our close circle of friends and we've all been to each others 1st showers, 2nd + showers, totall normal in our circle. I had 3 showers with my first and I would never expect my other two circle of friends (church and work) to throw me a second one and I would have probably declined. But with my close girlfriends it's just what we all do for each other.

LJR 84

Nope! We honestly don't need a damn thing. In all honesty, I don't want anything else. It's just more clutter...and we have plenty of that to go around as it is!

We've gotten plenty of gifts for this baby, but no shower.

kagl04

No one has offered and I'm certain no one will! DD is only 11 months old so we had her shower just under a year ago. We are having a boy this time so we need everything from a 2nd crib to clothes to a double stroller but we will be getting those ourselves. We keep picking up this slowly to spread out the cost.

If someone had offered and really wanted to then I would probably accept for a sprinkle after DS get here but otherwise we will not be having anything.

katie052409

People have offered to host one, I have graciously denied.  I just think people will find it rude seeing as mine are so close together and both girls (even though we were team green with baby #1).

JaysonandKristin

Mama Jan:

I did.  In my area, it's very normal to have showers for 2nd+ children.  They're usually smaller events and often people just get diapers or clothes.  Honestly, I did need more clothes since the boys were completely opposite seasons (February and July).

If someone offers to throw one, why not?

It is the norm around here, isn't it?  I've been to third-child showers.

I have declined offers from my sister, my MIL and one of my friends for a second shower.  I asked my mom to host a family party after the baby is born because she lives 2 hours closer to all of my family than I do.  She is so happy to do so.  

Monsieur_et_Madame_Ha

I only had one small shower with DD.

If someone were to offer to throw me a shower for this LO, I would gladly accept. While we do have most of the things we need, there are still a few items that I wouldn't mind getting as a gift (for instance, I would be over the moon if my friends and family all chipped in for a double stroller or a convertible car seat)

IMO it's not rude if someone WANTS to throw you a shower (vs you asking someone to do it). 

jgoo

My best friend threw me a surprise girls luncheon. A few of our closest girl friends, some food, & I did receive gifts. It was a lovely surprise, but now really a "shower" in my opinion.

kensbride08

I did. Mainly because 1. it was a different sex amd 2. people were offering to host. I never would have asked for one. And I even made it clear that I wanted it to be very low key and just a fun time to get together.

StefB28

We'll have a shower for #2. (We may end up having two-- our friends have already set the date for one and I wouldn't be surprised if my family throws one as well.) I don't expect it and I didn't ask for it, but will certainly attend if someone wants to plan one.

Among the people I know, all babies are celebrated with a shower-- no matter if they are the 1st or 4th, no matter how close they are in age to their sibling, and no matter what their sex is.

I've never understood when people say they are against a shower, but are ok with a sprinkle-- They're the same thing, no matter what you call them. The host and guests decide how elaborate the party is, not the mother, and both are intended to give the mother a gift for her baby.

sahmommytimestwo

Thanks everyone for your input! I may just suggest to the ladies who offered a "sprinkle", I especially like the idea of everyone decorating onsies for LO!

etude de la vie

howleyshell:

Nope.

I have several offers to host one for me as well and politely declined.

I'm not comfortable asking for more baby gifts for a 2nd child.

It's bad form IMO. 

this was me exactly!

 

jf198400

"IMO it's not rude if someone WANTS to throw you a shower (vs you asking someone to do it). "

I have to disagree with this.  It is still rude.  The person throwing the shower may be happy about it, but that doesn't mean the invited guests will be.  If I was invited to a 2nd shower for someone, I would feel pressured to buy another gift, which is quite frankly rude.

I would simply say No thank you to the people who offer.  It is much more appropriate to have a meet the baby party later, and people can buy you gifts Only IF they want to.

ryaroberts

I don't see why not.  Where I come from, all babies are celebrated equally.  If people want to throw you a shower, then let them!

maramarrie

howleyshell:

Nope.

I have several offers to host one for me as well and politely declined.

I'm not comfortable asking for more baby gifts for a 2nd child.

It's bad form IMO. 

This. I politely said that there wasn't a whole lot I would need since our kids were so close in age (and we CD) and I really wasn't comfortable having another shower. 

I knew the bulk of what I'd get would be clothing and we got a lot of that before and after she was born. Everyone who would get gifts for us bought them for us anyhow, so it's not like they needed a specific party to do it.

Scout1218

No.

Unpop opinion warning: I also think sprinkles are just showers by a different name. 

sweetpea2003

No.  It was offered, but I declined.  While I knew some close friends and close family wanted to give me gifts, I felt very uncomfortable with the idea of sending invites to people and doing the whole shebang again.  I had FOUR showers for my daughter (two surprise, two planned) and just thought another shower so close would just be over the top.

In the end, people who wanted to celebrate my son or give me gifts did.  They were only 16 months apart so I just thought it would be completely inappropriate to have another shower.  

KRISTA555

Where I live and in my circle, it's very normal and commonplace for each pregnancy to have a baby shower. It's not a big deal in my group of family and friends, and certainly none of the guests are irked by it.   We welcome any and all opportunities to get together and have fun.

That being said, even with my 1st shower, I didn't want a big deal made out of it because I'm uncomfortable in those settings.  It has/had nothing to do with etiquette though.

It's really dependent on where you live and what your friends/family are used to.

epopp85

ryaroberts:

I don't see why not.  Where I come from, all babies are celebrated equally.  If people want to throw you a shower, then let them!

We come from the same place, but agreed.  I did not even realize that it was sometimes considered rude to have a 2nd one until I came on TB.  All babies get one here.  My BFF started asking what dates I wanted for my shower this time, and while I said that it wasn't necessary, she said that everyone has been asking her and that it's all part of the fun.  She also asked me to go register again so that everyone would quit bugging her.  She's the queen of etiquette so I'm taking her word for it that it's ok lol.  I think I only have about 15 items on my registry this time and most of it is girl specific stuff since we had a boy the first time.

knittychick

I will be but we had a boy first time round, and are having a girl this time. I've gone through DS's clothes and taken what I can that will cross over for our DD, but the other problem we have with that is that DS was a spring baby and DD will be a fall baby, so there isn't tons of cross over. Mostly sleep sacks, pajama's, and solid onesies.

We Cloth Diaper and barely have enough stash to get DS by, so I've thought about doing a diaper shower. Even if every guest brought 1 cloth diaper it would help us out a lot. I'm not registered for much either, bedding, crib, convertable high chair... but that's for family who have been asking what we're looking at. My BIL and SIL bought us our double stroller as a gift so that's covered. 

My sister is planning the shower, and frankly because of an unexpected situation in her life I feel like it's best to let her plan it. It's helping her through a bad situation and making her feel like she has a big roll to play in getting things ready for our next little one, and making her feel better makes me feel better. 

That's just my two cents. I figure if you really want a second and someone is offering to plan it, then go for it. If you don't want one, be honest with your family and friends as to why. Good luck!