VBAC

Resorting to scare tactics

I posted on here a few weeks ago about my MIL and SIL who are totally against VBACs. By accident they found out that I was looking into having one and now all I keep hearing from them are these horror stories about rupture. This past weekend my SIL who is a NICU nurse told me how she went to work and there was a woman who was in labor who ruptured (no prior c/s or uterine surgery) and the baby was floating in her abdomen. She said the baby will not make it and the mother is in SCCU in critical condition. She has also told me about another mother who about a year ago had the same thing happen to her and her baby died, however she had a prior c-section scar. I didn't say "see it can happen to anyone, scars or not." But she did mention that the risk is higher with a prior c-section (duh.) Anyway, I have talked to DH and told him that it upsets me that they feel the need to tell me horror stories of birth. He said he'd talk to them and tell them to stop but it's times like these I wish I live hours away from these people rather than just down the street.
Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml

Re: Resorting to scare tactics

  • To these people, I usually respond that all birth involves some risk.  And unfortunately, due to a prior c-section, my second birth will be more risky regardless of method.  A c-section is more risky to you, a VBAC is more risky for the baby. 

    You can also force your SIL to think about similar anecdotes about post-op infections, lost of fertility, hysterectomies, etc related to c-sections.  There are stories about maternal death you could use to counter their anecdotes.

    Or you can just try to avoid the birth topic all together.

    Good luck

    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • imagecchill01:

    To these people, I usually respond that all birth involves some risk.  And unfortunately, due to a prior c-section, my second birth will be more risky regardless of method.  A c-section is more risky to you, a VBAC is more risky for the baby. 

    You can also force your SIL to think about similar anecdotes about post-op infections, lost of fertility, hysterectomies, etc related to c-sections.  There are stories about maternal death you could use to counter their anecdotes.

    Or you can just try to avoid the birth topic all together.

    Good luck

    I agree with all of the above. If it were me, next time it happens, I'd interrupt them and say, "This is not up for discussion with you." and walk away/hang up the phone.  And if they continue or bring it up ever again, walk away/hang up the phone or just cease any contact with them.  They don't agree with your decision.  That is their problem, not yours. 

    It is really insulting toward you and DH that they are suggesting you haven't done your due diligence on this matter.  There is risk in EVERY pregnancy.  It is up the the couple to decide which risks they are willing to take.  Because you take some no matter what.  But it needs to be made clear to them that this is a personal topic that doesn't include them and if they can't respect that then they can go elsewhere.  I'm sorry they are doing this to you.  Very frustrating.

    Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers Lilypie Fourth Birthday tickers image image
  • Loading the player...
  • imagecchill01:

    To these people, I usually respond that all birth involves some risk.  And unfortunately, due to a prior c-section, my second birth will be more risky regardless of method.  A c-section is more risky to you, a VBAC is more risky for the baby. 

    You can also force your SIL to think about similar anecdotes about post-op infections, lost of fertility, hysterectomies, etc related to c-sections.  There are stories about maternal death you could use to counter their anecdotes.

    Or you can just try to avoid the birth topic all together.

    Good luck

    I agree.

     

    And if that didn't stop them... I would threaten to avoid contact with them until after the baby is born.

    Mama to Elliot (11.09.08) and Jude (09.01.11)
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"