Today was the first day I have been able to swim in our pool since my m/c due to weather and bleeding. I hopped out of bed this morning and put on my suit. I couldn't wait to get a little sun and just relax. I have been feeling really good. My levels are almost back to normal and I thought my emotions were starting to even out.
Well, my MIL thought today would be a good day to come and lay by the pool as well. This usually isn't a problem, but today she decided to grill me on when we are going to try again. Carrying on about how I definitely had problems bc I'm RH- and now that's taken care of... I wanted to drown her.
First, we weren't really "trying". May was the first month we weren't actively avoiding and I just happened to get pregnant... We all know how that ended. Can I just digest that first?
Plus everyone in our family knew our first choice was adoption. We weren't going to avoid getting pregnant, but we said no matter what, we are adopting. My pregnancy and m/c has not changed those plans.
Somehow our parents now have it in their heads that bc I got pregnant so quickly that we would just drop the whole adoption thing and it drives me insane with rage. It's so insulting. I am already dealing with ridiculous, out-of-nowhere anger issues since the m/c and they are really pushing my limits.
Second, she brings up that she told her neighbor I had a m/c. No big deal. I'm not ashamed, but I don't even know this woman and I don't really feel comfortable with her discussing my medical issues with her. She told her I am RH- and thats why she thinks I had a m/c. Well, wouldn't you know it, her neighbor is RH- and her husband is RH+ too! Her first pregnancy was a m/c also! I had to hear all about it and how she went on to have three perfect children. Good for her.
I was not in the mood at all. It brought back all those feelings of inadequacy and anger that I was finally working through. You would think my MIL would be more understanding considering her first pregnancy was a m/c.
I had to call my husband outside, away from his work, to entertain his mother bc I was about to kill her. Now he's pissed and wants to say something to her, but I don't need anymore drama. She would just cry and then FIL would be angry... and all I wanted to do was swim!
Instead, I went to the basement and did laundry instead of enjoying my pool day. First world problems, I know, but I was having a great week and now I feel like I'm back to square one. I'm so sad and angry now. I just wanted a tan. Not relive the last 3 weeks.