My friends keep taking my names!

sherpa

I have a list from almost 3 years ago when I was pregnant with my son and over time have shared MY name ideas for MY kids with my friends. Well now we're all pregnant at the same time and they are stealing my names. I'm like WTH that has been on my list for years and you know it. One said, "Well it's on my list, we'll see who gets it first." She's due a week before me and already has it on her charts to be induced a week before that. Am I being sensitive? Nobody even knows what they're having yet. Sheesh.

Danny'sGirl09

Omg I know what you mean! It sucks! However, unless she's being a total _____. About things (Vs. just in love with it and timing "luck" happens to be on her side....) I think it's the preggo hormones and frustration with naming a child getting to you. I'm right up there with you though. Just remember that your friends because you have so much in common and this name thing just might be one more of them. See it as a good thing! When your "nephew" arrives you'll be able to tell him years down the road in thst old typical caddy women's sarcastic ways that she took your name just to make sure You'd always love him the most. ;-). See it as the glass is half full... GL

Fianschneid

Unfortunately, names belong to the universe, not individuals. None of you can call "dibs" on a name and since none of you know what you're having yet, it might not even matter.

 

Keri Marie

1. You're friend has an attitude and competitive moms don't stay friends for very long.

2. Nobody owns a name.

3. If it's on the top 100, don't be surprised if you know kids with that name.

4. There are thousands of names to chose from.

5. STOP sharing names. 

Moneypenny424

I would've said the same thing your friend said, to be honest.  You can call dibs on names from previous pregnancies and then say that years later, no one can use them.  It might be one thing if you were Team Green the first time and said our child will be either Jack or Jill...and this time you'd like to use Jill.  Even in that situation, the name isn't your own...unless you're going with a name like Jaxtyn or something you've made up.

Like PP said, stop sharing your names then.

EastCoastBride

If you had ONE name that you've loved your entire life and your friend was saying this, I'd be on your side.

But you have a LIST of names that you're talking about. You seriously think that no one you know can use ANY of those names?!

You don't own ANY names, much less an entire list.  Especially as you don't even know what you're having!

MAMAxB

EastCoastBride:

If you had ONE name that you've loved your entire life and your friend was saying this, I'd be on your side.

But you have a LIST of names that you're talking about. You seriously think that no one you know can use ANY of those names?!

You don't own ANY names, much less an entire list.  Especially as you don't even know what you're having!

This 100%.

My SIL talked about using the name Will one time (neither of us were pregnant at the time) and I straight up told her that I've loved the name by whole life and my husband and I are naming our first son Will (after his father.. coincidentally since I loved it before I even knew him)

I also said she's happy to use it if she loves it, but there WILL be two of them in our family then haha

Otherwise if it's a list.. you really have to claim unfortunately

ChavayJakov

Fianschneid:

Unfortunately, names belong to the universe, not individuals. None of you can call "dibs" on a name and since none of you know what you're having yet, it might not even matter.

 

Agreed, although I think I would still roll my eyes in the OPs situation...but again, it's not as if it was a final name choice, it was names from a list of names.

EastCoastBride

MAMAxB:

I also said she's happy to use it if she loves it, but there WILL be two of them in our family then haha

And really, the world won't fall off it's axis if there are 2 babies in the same friend group w/ the same name.  

sherpa

Well, I guess I'm just being sensitive then. Thanks for your feedback. I'm chucking my list and starting over. It is from a long time ago, it's a short list, 10 boy names, 10 girl names, nothing in the Top 100. Obviously I know I don't 'own' any of the names. Although, she had a list of names when she had her daughter, her list of boy names became my 'no go' list when I had my son - specifically telling me I was forbidden to use her boy names.

Hmm, I'm seeing an unbalanced friendship here. Guess I hadn't realized. Makes me a little sad. Come to think of it she steals all my good ideas and takes credit for it.

sept9107bride

if you shared the list and each had your own I could see why it would be offensive to suddenly not have the claims. 

I find the more defensive you are of a name, the more inclined others are to use it.  overall I'd drop it with her and she'll probably start exploring elsewhere anyway.  that being said, use whatever the heck name you want, even if it is what she just named her kid.  they are going to grow up to be two totally different people anyway.

braveangel2

mj.reilly:

EastCoastBride:

If you had ONE name that you've loved your entire life and your friend was saying this, I'd be on your side.

But you have a LIST of names that you're talking about. You seriously think that no one you know can use ANY of those names?!

You don't own ANY names, much less an entire list.  Especially as you don't even know what you're having!

This. And add that to to the fact that it is your LIST from 3 YEARS ago, with a different pregnancy ... Sorry hun, but you can't claim names. 

Cardinal Rules of Baby Naming
? Strangebird

1. Nobody owns a name; therefore, nobody can steal 'your' name.
2. She who has a baby first, gets to name a baby first.
3. It's your baby, therefore you get to pick the name you like.

Thank you strangebird and mj.reilly!

anthompson5

Keri Marie:

1. You're friend has an attitude and competitive moms don't stay friends for very long.

2. Nobody owns a name.

3. If it's on the top 100, don't be surprised if you know kids with that name.

4. There are thousands of names to chose from.

5. STOP sharing names. 

All of this!! Although nobody owns a name, I would never use one that I knew my friend was truly in  love with but STOP sharing names is the best statement here. I haven't shared our possible names with anyone except on here and I'm almost 8 months pregnant. Good luck!

apc1929

No one can CLAIM a name..  If you don't want people "stealing" them then don't share.   Or if its a name you really really love use it anyway.  Or find out the sex and tell people while you are PG that the babys name is _____

Sorry but I think its ridiculous to say people can't use a name when you haven't used it yourself yet...

robynlesley

Screw them... if you like a name, use it.

And if they like a name, they'll use it.

If your kids have the same name, they'll learn to live with it.

Friendships don't last forever (even if we hope they will) and you should choose a name you love for your child.

That is all. 

balihaigirl

Keri Marie:

1. You're friend has an attitude and competitive moms don't stay friends for very long.

2. Nobody owns a name.

3. If it's on the top 100, don't be surprised if you know kids with that name.

4. There are thousands of names to chose from.

5. STOP sharing names. 

great advice!!

brookelynpaisley

1. Are they common names? If they're stealing stuff like Aiden, Ethan, Olivia and Sophia, I've got news for you.

2. Stop telling people your names, because it is first come, first served, and you don't own names.

HappyMrsS

I agree w PP!  I won't tell any preg friends my list of names, just for that same reason. Hope you can find a name that you love that none of your friends are using! Good luck!

 

 

MelleTX

Here's an idea. Tell her she can have the name because you have fallen in love with a new name. Give her a few weeks and let her try to get it out of you and then finally confess your new favorite name is Petunia. 10 to 1 says she'll tell you that name is on her list as well.