Cousin naming her baby same as DD (clicky Poll)

bwralc

I tend to be overly emotional about some things so I need outside perspective.  I knew that I named DD a common name I just didn't think a really close relative would name her DD the same thing.

ETA: She is a second cousin, we live in the same area, and we see each other pretty often .It's not a family name, but yes the name is popular.  DD's name is Olivia. 

[Poll]

LoveEeyore

I think it depends on the situation... is it a family name?  Definitely no in that case.  Is it a trendy name?  I might think it impractical if the girls will be together a lot, but it wouldn't bother me.   If I created some youneek name or had the name picked since I was 2, then I would be bothered but otherwise not really.

JOEBunny

My brother has the same name as the next boy born in our family (cousin).  They spelled it differently though, and it is not a family name.  I have the same name as another cousin who is 12 years younger than I am.  I have always thought it odd.  All of my male cousins on one side of the family have the same middle name, but it is a family name and it was to honor my uncle who died at 26.  To this day, my brother is Big X and the now adult 2nd named X is "Little X" in our family.  Funny considering Little X is now a surgeon with 3 kids. 

bwralc

LoveEeyore:

I think it depends on the situation... is it a family name?  Definitely no in that case.  Is it a trendy name?  I might think it impractical if the girls will be together a lot, but it wouldn't bother me.   If I created some youneek name or had the name picked since I was 2, then I would be bothered but otherwise not really.

It's not a family name, but yes the name is popular.  DD's name is Olivia.

EastCoastBride

I'd also like to know -

When you say "really close relative", what do you mean?  Do you mean that you see her a lot, you live in the same area, etc? 

Or close in that she's a first cousin?

Honestly, it's hard to say!

 

Princess_Lily

Half of my uncles are named, Joseph, Michael, or Anthony and have the same last name.  Imagine how we kept track of inviting them for our wedding...LOL!

 

Anyway, if its a family name I don't think its a big deal.  If it was a common name, and my LO was already born, um...a little bizarre.  I wouldn't pick a name someone already has (and that someone is close to me).

But if I don't see them often, then why make a fuss right?  Think about it though, that name may turn into a family name too if it is used within the family now.

bwralc

EastCoastBride:

I'd also like to know -

When you say "really close relative", what do you mean?  Do you mean that you see her a lot, you live in the same area, etc? 

Or close in that she's a first cousin?

Honestly, it's hard to say!

 

She is a second cousin, we live in the same area, and we see each other pretty often.

EastCoastBride

Well... on one hand, as it is a popular name and it doesn't have family significance, sure, I can say "she couldn't have found another name?".

But at the same time, you picked a really popular name! 

It could be that she's loved that name for years, always planned on using it, then you used it.  But she decided not to let that stop her from using it, which is her right!

 

 

Ilumine

EH..my Aunt Stacey named her first daughter after my other Aunt Meredith. Aunt S just loved the name.

EastCoastBride

To add, she may not have talked to you about it, either, because she didnt' want to give you the power to tell her "no- dont' use the name".

I've seen posts on this kind of issue all over these boards and while I don't feel you're wrong for feeling a little annoyed, at the same time, I don't think she's wrong either. 

eesome

While no one owns a name, I can still see why you are upset.

Since it is someone you are very close to and talk to often, it would annoy me, too. If it was someone that lived far away that I rarely saw, I wouldn't care.

 

n&bcarlson

In your case, I would find it weird.  You live geographically close and see each other regularly.  It sounds like a recipe for confusion.  If it were one of my second cousins, well, honestly I could end up picking the same name and not even knowing with half of them because we might see each other once in 20 years at a family reunion.  But I wouldn't name a child the same as a closer relative, except maybe if it's a family name for DH's family (a recently deceased parent/grandparent?).  There are so many other nice names, why use one that has already been taken by a close relative?

bwralc

EastCoastBride:

To add, she may not have talked to you about it, either, because she didnt' want to give you the power to tell her "no- dont' use the name".

I've seen posts on this kind of issue all over these boards and while I don't feel you're wrong for feeling a little annoyed, at the same time, I don't think she's wrong either. 

 I would never tell her she couldn't use it.  I was just shocked and surprised that she didn't tell me.  You are right though I am annoyed, this same situation happened to me where I loved a name since I was a little girl, we changed our name b/c I didn't want my SIL to be upset, plus I thought it was odd to have 2 of one name in the family.  I know not everyone thinks like that though, and I agree that she has every right to name her daughter what they want, I just wish she would have said something to me personally.

TKx2

We were actually in the same situation with the same name!  DH and I both loved the name Olivia, but then his cousin had a baby a year before us and used it.  As soon as I found out I knew we'd be looking for a new name.  We see them once a year at the most (we live in different states) but I would just never use the same name as his cousin (unless maybe if it was a family name). 

KathrynMD

it would sort of bother me a little bit, because, REALLY, she couldn't find another name that she liked, but this would not bother me enough to discuss it with anyone except my BFF and my husband (who would probably roll his eyes and tell me I'm being silly)

Soter1

It would 100% bug the shiit out of me! But I'm like that. I was annoyed when a friend we see maybe once a year just had a baby with DS2 name. I think because you live close, hang out etc it's just not cool. There are a trillion beautiful girls name. Did she already have the baby? Now if she's had her heart set on it since 9th grade that's a tough one. I know my girls name I've "reserved" forever I would use even if my BFF did, but it's a family name. We have a ton if July birthdays in our family and I didn't even want DS sharing one of those, luckily he got the best one. I'd just ask her, "so you really liked the name huh? Do you plan on calling her Liv?" I'm a biotch like that though. I think it's wrong on many levels. Flame away! If your DD was 10 or older maybe not but they are going to be close enough in age...

June2007

I said SS because my DD's names are not at all common. They are real names though, we didn't just make them up so its not like they are "ours". They are also a nod to our heritage so while it would make sense if a family member (who obviously had the same heritage) would choose one of the names, it would still be very odd to me because their names are so unique. I wouldn't be offended, I would just think it was very obvious that they were copying us.

Had I chose a popular/ trendy/ classic/ common name though, I wouldn't feel anything toward my family member and I would probably just wish I had a chose a less common name. My own name is very common (Jennifer Lyn 'samelastname') and I have a younger cousin with almost the same name as me (Jenna Lynn 'samelastname') and my parents weren't annoyed. They chose a very popular name so it was bound to happen.

KittyCatBio

I have cousin name stealers on both sides of the family, so it's more a point of amusement for me than anything.  my cousin named her son the same as my nephew and then a daughter very similarly to DD.  She has 6 kids, so whatcha gonna do? coming up with names is hard, and we only see them 3 times a year.

on my in laws side, my SIL is the name stealer.  Our cousins told her their chosen names for future kids (and yes, given that, SIL had every right) and SIL proceeded to use all of them before the cousins had children.  One cousin went ahead and named her kid the same, which was also her right.  the other went with something different.

+diana82+

I think the whole freaking out over "name stealing" thing is bizarre.  It's really NBD. You don't own the name and your daughter will meet other people with her name at some point more than likely.  

jbl126

KathrynMD:

it would sort of bother me a little bit, because, REALLY, she couldn't find another name that she liked, but this would not bother me enough to discuss it with anyone except my BFF and my husband (who would probably roll his eyes and tell me I'm being silly)

I completely agree with this.

DEBBIE33CASEY

it would annoy me HOWEVER I would aknowledge the fact that being upset about it wouldn't do me any good.  I would just try my hardest to get over it.  It's not like she should be expected to change it.  Try to take it as a compliment and move forward. You don't want this to create any animosity.

mlf625

It would bother me if it were an original name.  But Olivia?  No.  It's suuuuper common now (and pretty!) so I think it's unreasonable to expect someone else not to use it.  Especially a 2nd cousin.

Jen&Len

I accidentally did this and it is not a family name.  I don't see one of my first cousins that often just because of distance (I've met her just a handful of times and i think I was in my teens the last time I saw her) and she and her bro and sister all had 3+ kids, none of whom we've met.   I totally forgot she had a daughter with DD's name at the time that we were deciding.  We get a yearly Christmas card from them and it's on there, but for some reason, it just didn't click when we were naming DD.  It wasn't until my aunt (her mom) mentioned it on my facebook that I remembered.  I was pretty embarrassed.  Luckily, I did spell it differently.