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Working With Someone You Hate
The Problem: I work with this woman, only 7 - 10 days out of the month, but those days are seriously a living h3ll. She is manipulative, nosy, rude, plays the victim but is constantly starting drama. A previous co-worker who has since left our company called her antics "white-trash BS" and I have to agree.
Two weeks ago she cussed me out for asking her to turn down the radio. This is not the first time we've had issues, but this is the first time that she has done this while I'm pregnant. I, in my crazy hormonal state, went to a supervisor who went on only to smack her hand lightly and told her not to do it again.
She did it again the next day (which just happened to be a weekend with no supervisers in sight).
Here's the problem: My husband also works here. We both work 12-hour, rotating shifts and somehow managed to get on the same swing. We do not work int he same department or anything, but if I were to move to another rotation it would drastically affect our homelife, not to mention he would never get to attend baby appts. Our parents watch DD#1 and they base their work schedules around ours (I know, they're angels!) It would cause much chaos if I were to switch to another shift, so that is out of the question.
Also, if I somehow managed to get her placed on a different rotation by complaining enough, it would affect someone else's schedule and I know the other person is not keen on switching. Even though I would be happier, they would not and the co-worker who would be affected is an absolute doll. I would feel horrible to put her in such a position.
The Good News: My husband and I are planning on me becoming a SAHM in a year..actually 11 months now...so I guess I just need to figure out what I can do to get through those 2 weeks a month. I'm incredibly emotional as we've had some baby drama as of late, and not many people at work know I'm pregnant. Mainly, because I keep my personal life separate from my work life.
The Question: How do I get through those days when I work Crazy? Emotionally, I'm not strong enough to work in environment where I'm constantly walking on eggshells, but I have to do something. Ignoring her only makes her madder and confronting her is ridiculous because she is so immature that she just tells me to STFU and screams at me. What to do?
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Re: Working With Someone You Hate
- How does your company handle harassment? As in, are they responsive and take immediate action because your co-worker is harassing you. She's creating a hostile environment for you.
- Anyone else bothered by this? Can you get more people to come together with you and make a formal complaint?
- Not knowing what profession you're in I'm going to assume it's a desk job and ask, can you listen to an iPod while you work or wear some noise cancelling headphones?
I've been in a similar position as you except we shared a classroom for 2 years. If it hasn't already it will affect your health (mental and physical.) 11 months is a long time to endure this and by this point your main concern should be your health not how this will affect someone who's a complete "doll." You need to push for her to be placed on a different rotation. Maybe if there's enough complaints about her and requests for her to be moved then they'll take even more drastic actions.
Ok I read your whole story and first of all I am sorry you have to work with a b*tch like that.
Do you have an HR dept to put a complaint in with? That would be the route to go. How are you in the office with no supervisor is beyond me, I mean obviously we are not children but a figure of authority of some kind should be there. If you ignore her and it makes her even more upset then continue to do it. That is what I would do. If she is making your work enviornment hostile and unbearable then you need to stop talking to a manager and talk to your manager's manager and keep going up. Maybe the manager is scared of her loud antics also. Nevertheless go to HR and complain she is causing you to work in a hostile enviornemnt. No one pregnant or not should have to deal with a worker who is cursing you out. I know I could NEVER take some one yelling at me at that cursing at me.
At my office we have a crazy lady like the one you are describing. She always has something to say and never knows when to shut up. So I just complained to HR about her. Not to mention I caught a bigger attitude right back with her and told her, "If you don't like it don't look at it!" I know this was wrong but I was brand new at the time and this lady had a flippin comment for everything I wore or did or said. People warned me about her but I do not take anyone's *** let alone some woman who everyone, including the managers, are afraid of.
Hope you can get some relief from the crazy lady.
How often can you walk away from your desk? I had a coworker who was a slurper. I loved the guy but he ate like a farm animal. At least 2 meals a day were eaten at his desk and he started having green tea all day long. I cannot describe to you what this disgusting noise did to me. I used to file in a different room anytime he had soup for lunch. We had a really loud scanner so I would try turning that on too. I also texted my DH describing the hideous sounds. Those things helped a little - especially when I knew I was leaving.
Can you do a countdown in your head to the day you quit and actually laugh at her? Or just get her to blow up publicly as often as possible - they'll have to get rid of her and it won't be your fault.
We work in a lab setting and often times we are the only 2 in our particular lab. As far as I know she doesn't treat anyone else the way she does me. She would never talk to the other women in our department the way she does me. I'm not sure why she feels that she can walk all over me, but even when I try to stand up for myself, I fail because she just repeatedly tells me to shut up.
I definitely agree that working with someone in such a tense environment is not good for a person's health. Prior to my pregnancy, I was put on anxiety medication, primarily because of my work situation.
The supervisors will do nothing and if I go over their heads to HR, it's possible I could be reprimanded. They don't like that type of thing. People in the past have been written up when complaining about others.
I know I just need to suck it up and deal with it. She's NOBODY and I hate that I'm intimidated by her, but honestly, I don't know what she's capable of. I think she has some serious issues and working alone with her for 12 hours is scary to me.
You're overthinking this. You have to work with her 7-10 days for only the next 11 months? Just deal with it.
7-10 days a month for the next 11 months. And I agree, I probably am over-thinking it. But I'm not one of those people who can kill others with kindness (it just comes across extra sarcastic) and letting things just roll off my back has never been easy. It seems that situations like this always become super toxic for me and instead of me just brushing it off, it festers and grows and I become completely overwhelmed.
I wish I could be one of those super strong women who she would be intimidated of.
I get that it's 7-10 days a month. We all have to deal with toxic people in the work place. They're everywhere. Considering that this is a short term problem I really don't think there's anything you should do besides ignore her. Since you're her target, my guess is she has some of her own issues with you.
This is called retaliation, and in many states, it is illegal. If you were planning on remaining employed at this organization for the long term, I would say that you probably should start documenting the actual events that occur between you and this woman, and inform HR. If your superiors "write you up" simply because you utilized a remedy that is available to you, they are complicit in creating a hostile work environment (and could be complicit anyway in turning a blind eye to your prior complaints) and could have one hell of a law suit on their hands.
However, you're not even going to be there a year, and you don't have to work with the woman every day. If I were in the same position, I would either give the woman the silent treatment with regard to anything not work related so as to not give her any amunition, or I would call her out directly on her being a collasal b*tch and get it all on the table. In fact, the latter would be my preference.
1. Go to your supervisor and report it happened the very next day again. Ask what you should do and ask if HR has given managers any ideas (which is a gentle hint that it is time to get HR involved) in both documenting these harassing and unprofessional incidents and dealing with appropriately to communicate strongly the company's policy stance on this. Quite frankly, that wording should indicate the liability issues clearly to your supervisor and I would wear the air of a confused and puzzled worker bee seeking help to do the right thing. Hopefully your supervisor recognizes quickly the need to get HR involved at this point and you can then work with them without burning bridges with your superiors.
2. If it continues, ask your boss how you might instead be able to limit your interactions. Loud music? Cool, bring your own iPod with earphones and tell your boss you're going to do that rather than risk another confrontation. So on. Then I'd just suck it up for the next few months until you don't care if you stay or go and then report on up to HR about her. And learn to enjoy it a little. I have long discovered the calmer I am, the more it irritates and maddens the one trying to upset me. You can say things like "how unfortunate we have a disagreement. Let's contact X to see if we can resolve our differences in a peaceful and mutually satisfactory way." She'd probably go apopletic!
DD -- 5YO
DS -- 3YO