2nd time moms: ? about your delivery with a LO around

eesome

How did your LO(s) handle seeing you in the hospital after you delivered your next child? Were they scared? Did they cry when they arrived/left? Where they jealous of the newborn immediately or did they handle it well?

Since I will be in the hospital for 4 days, I want to see how most of you LO's reacted.

TIA! 

jamie.renee

When I had my second my oldest was 2 years old.  She was great the entire time.  She wanted to help hold her sister, kept staring at her etc.  When it was time to leave it was not good.  My sister brought her up there to visit.  When they were headed out she said "bye bye baby.  Come on mommy".  She wanted me to come but leave the baby.  When she realized I had to stay and baby was staying too she was very upset.  She was fine after they got down the hall and never had an issue after that.  She didn't stay away from me overnight all that often so it was tough for her.  When I had my third my girls were almost 5 and 7 and we had zero issues.  I also didn't even stay a full 24 hours though lol.

Mama Jan

Caleb was only 17mo and he had a really hard time with it.  He didn't want to talk to me or even sit with me.  He was interested in everything including the baby but it was almost like I didn't exist.  He came two or three times while I was there and got a little more comfortable by the end.

My mom was in the hospital a month or so ago and we took the boys to see her.  They both did really well and barely even noticed that something was out of the ordinary.  We had prepped them pretty well about her "special jammies" (hospital gown), that she would be in a cool bed, about her IV.

I think because they were older than when I was in the hospital with A, they both did great.  I would just talk to him about it often and really prepare him for how things will be.  And don't be hurt if he doesn't want to be with you, because he doesn't mean it personally!

ETA: We bought a handful of new books to have for when he visited me and Asher at the hospital.  That was a fun treat for him.  The books stayed there with me the whole time so he looked forward to that. 

shelbym

When I had my second it was a scheduled induction.  I had to be at the hospital at 7 and DS stayed home with my dad.  I had the baby at 3 so DH was able to be home that night for bedtime.  I only stayed the night and DS came to the hospital to pick me up.  He mostly just explored the hospital room for the time we were there and then was ready to leave.   He didn't warm to DD right away but didn't do anything mean either.  He mostly just ignored her for about 2 weeks.   Now they are better friends except when she tries to take his toys

eesome

Mama Jan:

ETA: We bought a handful of new books to have for when he visited me and Asher at the hospital.  That was a fun treat for him.  The books stayed there with me the whole time so he looked forward to that. 

This is a great idea! I will pick up some new books and maybe a small train he can play with (his favorite toy) and will pack it in my hospital bag. Thanks! 

AngelaU1971

My son came to the hospital when Charlotte was born.  He was fine, but he was only 22 months, so maybe he didn't really "get it"?  When I had Ruby, the kids didn't come to the hospital.  When we got home with her, they were fine and excited. 

funchicken

We had talked to DD about it ahead of time, and she was totally fine.  She didn't cry at all--she was just very happy to see me.  She's a little jealous of the baby, but mostly she just does her own thing and ignores DD2.

A couple of people told me not to have her come because it would be too upsetting for her, but I felt like DD would be more upset if she didn't get to see me for 2 days, and, like I said, she was fine.

Spin313

DS had just turned three. My mom stayed with him the first night, and then DH stayed home with him the rest of the time I was in the hospital. I had prepacked a backpack for DS with new books, new matchbox cars, and snacks. When he came to visit he hospital, he could have cared less about DD...he was just happy to see me and show me the backpack with all the cool stuff inside.

I don't know if it helped or not, but DD was sleeping and I wasn't holding her when DS arrived. We read books together for a while, and then I showed him his baby sister. He was perfectly fine when he left, too. For us, the whole transition with DS and DD has been very smooth.

eesome

Spin313:

I had prepacked a backpack for DS with new books, new matchbox cars, and snacks. When he came to visit he hospital, he could have cared less about DD...he was just happy to see me and show me the backpack with all the cool stuff inside.

I don't know if it helped or not, but DD was sleeping and I wasn't holding her when DS arrived. We read books together for a while, and then I showed him his baby sister. He was perfectly fine when he left, too. For us, the whole transition with DS and DD has been very smooth.

I am definitely bringing things for DS to enjoy after reading Mama Jan's and your responses. A very smart idea!

I also think it's smart you were not holding DD when he arrived. Maybe I will have DH or another family member hold her the first time he visits. Thank you! 

VTbride05

It was our hospital's policy that NO children could visit when Stella was born. I freaked out about this, but it ended up being a good thing. DS was settled at home with my mom and DH at night (we were only gone 24 hours) so to come see me 45 minutes away, in a new place, and I couldnt go with him, would have thrown him off. I was nervous b/c it was my first time leaving him, but I left him gifts, new toys and books and he had a great time with my mom.

I think that prepping him is key. Best luck!

mel72

He was fine but I was a hysterical mess since it was the first time and longest I had been away from him except for the two weeks he spent in the NICU at birth.  GL to you!

tiredmamma

DD was just about 4 when her sister arrived. She was with me when I was brought into the hospital and she was excited to have the nurse show her all the computers and monitors (not to mention the tv remote!). DH and I had also explained how she was born and how her sister was about to arrive (c-section,I went into labor early with DD2). So she was as well informed as a 4 year old could be. My mom and dad then took her for breakfast, a haircut, the store and brought her back to us. While she was at the store she picked out her sister's "coming home" outfit which was very exciting for her.

When she came back to the hospital, we kept the visit just the four of us. She was very shy and unsure of herself. I made sure that she could sit in bed with me and made sure to show her lots of attention. We made a big deal out of her holding DD2, and she felt much better when DD2 presented her with a big sister present. (A Barbie fishing pole and tackle box).

From the time we announced the pregnancy to DD1, we made a big deal about how this was HER baby sister, that they would always stick together, and how she was going to be very important to the new baby. DH and I never referred to the baby as his and mine, the baby was either hers or ours.

mamanduchess

My son was just about 4 when I had my second. Like others, we had new coloring books and a present for him from the new baby at the hospital. I also immediately handed the baby off to my mom when he arrived so I could hug him and tell him how much I missed him. My husband only stayed the first night at the hospital with me so our son could have Dad home with him at night.

Most important, i think, was our pre-prep. I took my son to the hospital for lunch in the cafeteria a month before I had the baby. Hospital food may not be delicious, but it made him think of the hospital as a place you could just go to when you needed something. We talked about the baby coming and how mommy would look when he came to visit (IV, bed only, etc.). My husband put him to bed for the last few months before delivery so my absence at night would be less noticable.

You might check with your hospital; some have classes for siblings that let them tour the maternity ward. My duo is taking one before this baby arrives to help them get more comfortable.

la79al

When I started having contractions and decided we were going to the hospital, we woke DD up and I told her the baby was coming out of my belly.  It was so cute because she asked to go along (4:30 a.m, I was kind of expecting some tears) so I carried her out to the car.  When we got to the hospital, she was very unsure of all the machines and wires and was bothered by the IV.  I let her sit on the bed with me and the pictures are hilarious because she looks sooo uncertain of what was going on around her.  Then we gave her the camera we had packed for her and she started taking tons of pictures of everything and everyone and that seemed to relax her.  She was in the waiting room while DD2 was born but came back in once she was cleaned up and went straight for her, pretty much ignored me.  Once the baby was swaddled and everything, DD got to hold her and take a million pictures of her.  That day she had fun with people coming to visit and then got to spend the night with Grandma so she loved that.  I was up most of the night missing her but when she came back the next morning, she went for the baby before she said hi to me.  That day (DD was there ALL day) was pretty fun, the baby slept, visitors came and hospital food was an adventure all in its own.  That night, she did cry when it was time to leave (with DH) but he said it only lasted a few minutes.  The next day they came back to get us and DD was very excited to get to be a big helper. 

My suggestions--lots of special treats, even if just to keep him preoccupied.  A lot of our visitors brought little toys for DD (in addition to toys and snacks we packed) so between that and being interested in what the nurses and doctors were doing, she was kept pretty busy.  And the camera, the camera seemed to really help to break the ice.  Oh, and a big brother pin or shirt of some kind.  The nurses gave DD some big sister stickers and then everyone made a huge deal out of it and though DD was too shy to talk, she loved the attention. 

katlizabeth

Ds was only two, but we prepped him a lot, saying that mommy would be in the hospital, baby would come out, etc.  I showered and dressed (in pjs) by the time he came to visit.  He was fine.  Much more interested in the "big bath" that was in the middle of my room than me or the baby.  He also loved eating my lunch or dinner with me.  He was a little interested in baby, but not jealous.  It was pretty smooth for us-the hardest part was leaving with my aunt when dh and I were staying. 

Cytina

S was about 20 months or so when P was born.  MH brought him to the hospital to meet baby bro and all S wanted to do was play with my keys and lay on the hospital bed.  We kept trying to get him to pay attention to P, but he really wasn't that interested.  He didn't ignore him entirely, but he wasn't into him either.  He was jealous of me holding the baby, but not overly so - then again, there were other people there distracting him too.  We had bought him a Buckle Bear as a "big bro" gift and he liked that.  He didn't want to leave, but he didn't throw a huge tantrum about it - just cried for me as they left.

Jaimers375

DS did not handle leaving me in the hospital the first day very well at all.  He cried "mommy" all the way out the door, OMG, I was in tears too. The other days he handled it a lot better, I think it helped that the grandparents were better prepared and had something exciting for him to do after he left.

 While he was in the room with us, he was fine, he was so excited to hold his baby sister.  Everyday we got him a new gift from the baby, helped keep him busy.  He did keep trying to crawl on my lap, but with the c-section I couldn't handle it, that was difficult too.