Late Intro - long

Belleza907

Hi - I've been lurking for the last few weeks and I wanted to introduce myself.  After a tough IVF cycle, and a complicated pregnancy (gestational diabetes, pre-e, shortened cervix, and preterm labor) I gave birth to two beautiful girls on May 30. They were born at 29 weeks and 4 days weighing 2 lbs 7 oz and 2 lbs 8 oz.  We're currently 29 days into our NICU stay, and sometimes it feels like it will last forever.  Both girls are off CPAP, still in isolettes, and taking all of their feeds by gavage.  They've steadily been gaining weight and are up to 3 lbs 12 oz and 3 lbs 13 oz.  We're hoping to start bottle feeding in the next week or so. 

Today was a tough day.  Four babies on our wing of the NICU went home, so we were moved to a different wing because my two were the only babies left in that wing.  I'm so happy for the families that were able to take their little ones home, but jealous at the same time.  (Which of course then makes me feel guilty!)

Everyone is so supportive here, and it has been so helpful to read about everyone's preemie experiences.  

njdcgirl

Welcome and congratulations on your two little girls!

I think it is totally normal to have bittersweet feelings when other NICU babies go home.  Try to be kind to yourself though - it's nothing to feel guilty about.  It sounds like your girls are doing great - hopefully they will take to bottle feeding well and be on the path to home soon.

Definitely post more and ask any questions that you may have.  As you know, the ladies on this board are helpful and supportive!

MrsLee22

Whatever you do, please please please don't have guilt about your feelings. They are absolutely legitimate and you need to let yourself feel them and acknowledge them. I cried for hours when my closest NICU mom friend got discharged... not because I was happy (which of course I was) but that I was terribly jealous.

Your girls sound like they are doing wonderful! Keep up the great work, mama!

livnluv2010

Welcome and congrats on your baby girls! The NICU experience is full of emotions and it is ok to feel everything you are feeling.  I remember feeling that way when I saw other parents take their little ones home.  You will be there soon too!  I hope your girls continue to grow and get stronger everyday! 

katie4253

MrsLee22:

Whatever you do, please please please don't have guilt about your feelings. They are absolutely legitimate and you need to let yourself feel them and acknowledge them. I cried for hours when my closest NICU mom friend got discharged... not because I was happy (which of course I was) but that I was terribly jealous.

Your girls sound like they are doing wonderful! Keep up the great work, mama!

I totally agree with this.  Allow yourself to feel your feelings.  They are real.  

Oh, and welcome!  Your girls sound like they are doing well!  Come here any time you need to talk, the girls on here are awesome!

mrsV719

Welcome and congrats on your girls! They sound like they are really doing well. I hope that your NICU stay is short and uneventful. I agree with PP's about your feelings. 

I know how it feels to think that there is no end in sight... but there is. Remember, right now your babies are better off in the NICU with the care of, what I am sure are, wonderful nurses and doctors. 

 Finally,  at 20 days old Tyler was moved to a Special Care Nursery. There were only 10 beds (but the most babies that were in there at one time while we were there was 6). Over the next 62 days I saw 17 families come and go. Twice Tyler was the only baby in there. It hurt so much to see these babies come in after him and go home before him. I knew that he wasn't ready to come home and I wouldn't be able to take care of him as they did. But my time did eventually come and it was actually bitter-sweet. I loved his nurses and was going to (and do) miss them terribly. 

Like the PP's, your feelings are totally normal and justified. We are here for you! ((hugs))