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Two Under 2
a lot of mixed emotions
Ds 1 is almost 9 y/o, ds2 is almost 11 months old and I just found out today that we will have a 3rd!! I am overwhelmed with all these emotions..it's like one minute i'm excited, and the next, i'm scared, then excited then scared. Well let me tell you why..
I'm a working RN part time in a psych unit (four 8hr shifts) and was hoping to find a Full-time position working in maternal/baby health (three 12hr shifts). But i'm thinking...how can I get hired now that i'm preggo?
Next, I only have my Associate in Nursing and am supposed to get my Bachelor's in nursing in May..Well i'm due in Feb/March??Not sure yet since I haven't had a period to base my EDD. Anyway, This will definitely push me back a semester or 2..
And lastly, I am loving my ds2's phase right now. He's almost 11 months and he is soooooo darn cute!! He's so happy and fun.. I am kinda happy and excited that he will be a big brother..but at the same time, I wanted to focus on him and am sorta feeling guilty about being preggo because I won't just have "our" time anymore when he's 1-2 y/o.
oh yeah i forgot to add that my MIL is giving me so much anxiety right now with her 5 stray cats that she plays with and feeds and DOESN'T wash her hands after or if she does, it would be for 2 seconds. I actually contracted toxoplasmosis from her before I got pregnant with ds2.
Anyway..I don't know what to do...anyone felt the same way as me before and totally love having 2u2? I am having anxiety right now...but I bet I will be excited later on..EEEK!!
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Re: a lot of mixed emotions
it is definetely a roller coaster of emotions and acknowleding that makes a big difference. DS will be about 16 months when #2 arrives. Lots of guilty feelings come up for both #1 and #2. I had bad morning sickness and was not much fun during first tri- felt guilty for not always playing with DS#1. then felt guilty with #2 because I just wasn't paying as much attention to the pregnancy as I did with #1. I'm so scared that I'll love one more than the other and feel guilty about that too. But i'm sure everything will work out and I'm just doing the best I can- taking it day by day.
I am also an RN with my associates and am going to be doing my bachelor's online starting this fall. working 3- 12 hour shifts is rough. not impossible but rough. it looks great on paper but it very exhausting. I'm working per diem now ( since having DS last year) the plan was to find a full time day position as I was working nights before and hated it. I haven't looked for any positions or applied for any because of the whole pregnancy thing. My hospital rarely has daytime positions open up so I'll be looking elsewhere after the baby is born. worse case scenario is I continue working per diem.
you will end up being excited for #3 as the pregnancy goes on. anxious still too, wondering how are you going to survive. and wondering about all the what ifs.. but it'll be great!