would you be concerned if your child skipped lunch at school every day?

hereonceagain

My LO has been at her new school for almost a month now.  she refuses to eat lunch there.  I give her a nice breakfast and they give a morning snack and afternoon snack.  They open her lunch up at lunchtime and she just refuses to eat it.  I try to pack her favorites and it doesn't help.  She waits till we pick her up and then eats it in the car on the way home at 6 pm.  She is 2 yrs old and weighs on the higher end, so it's not a big issue with her pedi.  Would it bother you?  The daycare teachers told me they cannot spend a lot of time with one child trying to convince them to eat as they have too many other kids to tend to.  I'm sure if an adult put some effort into it, she would eat.  But I don't know if it's worth disputing with them, as she eats enough for the day, just skips lunch.  Thoughts?

franciscaz

My son doesn't eat at school (we are on Summer break).  To me it is isn't a big deal b/c he is eating well the rest of the day.  I've learned when kids are really hungry they eat.

If I were in your shoes I would stop letting her eat in the car.  If she knows she has to wait for dinner and her lunch (filled with favorites) goes away after a while she might more inclined to change.

zoedrex

franciscaz:

My son doesn't eat at school (we are on Summer break).  To me it is isn't a big deal b/c he is eating well the rest of the day.  I've learned when kids are really hungry they eat.

If I were in your shoes I would stop letting her eat in the car.  If she knows she has to wait for dinner and her lunch (filled with favorites) goes away after a while she might more inclined to change.

This exactly.

It will be hard for a few days, she'll be upset and hungry, but if you stick with it she will figure it out quickly. Also, she shouldn't be too hungry assuming you go straight home and have dinner.

I would just continue to communicate with her preschool. It's only been a month and although kids are super adaptable it can take some longer than others to feel comfortable. 

Some questions for her teachers (that you may have already asked): What exactly are the snacks? How much is she given? Does she get seconds/thirds until she's stuffed? How are snacks and lunch give? Does she get to pick her spot at the table every time or are there assigned seats? How does she act during lunch?

There could easily be something about lunchtime or what happens after lunch that is causing her anxiety (is lunch right before an activity she really loves or hates? Outdoor play vs. nap and so on). I would make sure, with her teachers, that she is at least actively participating in lunch even if she isn't eating (chatting with her peers etc). 

 

omurray

I would try some positive re-inforcement first - if she eats her lunch at school, she can have a small treat/sticker/other small reward on the way home.

n&bcarlson

I agree that I wouldn't be too concerned, but would put a stop to the eating in the car.  That's too close to dinner, and doesn't give her enough of a reason to eat at lunch.  Would you be able to save the lunch and send it again the next day?  If not and it would need to be thrown away, you could make a big deal of looking really sad when you throw away her favorite food and make her help you do it.  Basically, your DD needs to decide to eat on her own.  You might consider asking the daycare if they could skip her snacks or give her a smaller portion so she is more likely to feel hungry at lunch.

angelakh

DD does this.  She only goes to school on Tuesdays and Thursdays.  I think her problem is that we typically eat leftovers for lunch on the other days and she doesn't want a cold lunch.  I just send two or three simple things and if she doesn't eat - oh well.  In the fall they can order a hot lunch, so we may try this.  I really wouldn't worry about it and I wouldn't give her lunch in the car.

forensicmama

I wouldn't worry about it. It sounds like she's getting enough nutrition and I'm sure that eventually she'll feel more comfortable and choose to eat.

sju

I went through something similar with DS at our old school and those morning snacks were a problem for us. My concern is them filling up with a morning snack and then skipping a healthier meal. However, if she is eating a nice, healthy breakfast, snacks and then a healthy lunch as dinner at 6pm, and she is not unhealthy, then I would not be too concerned. It is not ideal but she may be getting the nutrition she needs. My 2 year old does not eat too much.

Our previous school offered morning snack and DS would then still be full at lunchtime. I did not want him to be the only one without a snack either so we let it go until we switched schools.  The new school offers a balanced breakfast and then lunch at 11-11:30 followed by afternoon snacks.  It has worked better for us that way.

shouldbworkin

DS rarely eats lunch at school b/c he gets a morning snack.  I make his bfast and snack super healthy so that he is ok if he skips lunch.