Who has to share their room?

kmarie213

It's early to ask this, but curiousity of other's opinions has me asking on this board...

I have a 5 yr old daughter, 4 year old step son. We have SS 50% of the time. How is it "most fair" when choosing who has to share a room? Is it by gender? Baby girl, it's with my DD, baby boy it's with my SS? Do we put the two close in age together? What is important to consider when deciding this?

wwnbw

DD and SS are 10 months apart (3 & 4) and they share a room. SS 11 has his own room. We don't have a baby between us but when we do we will most likely leave the 3 and 4 yo together.

o_so_in_love

There are several things to consider.  You don't want either child to think you are favoring one over the other by either letting them share with the baby (if they both really want to) or replacing them by letting the baby have one of their rooms.  Are you planning on having the baby co-sleep or have a crib in your room at all?  If you have the baby share with one of the siblings you also have to consider if crying will interupt the child's sleep.

We co-slept with the last baby until about two years of age and also had a crib in our room.  If this were my situation I would either co-sleep or have the baby sleep in my room until it reaches an age where it will sleep through the night.  Then if I was ready to move the baby to a separate room, the baby would share with the sibling of the same gender, otherwise you'd have to switch rooms again later for the two older ones when they reached an age where it is no longer appropriate for them to share.

An alternative, if you have the room, is to set up a "nursery" in another part of the house like in a corner of the living room.  That way everyone gets to keep their own rooms for a while and the baby can also have it's own area too.

Hope something I said helps!

karleegirl

I have a ds who is 16 and one who is 4. Our new baby will share a room with younger ds once they are sttn. Until that point the baby will have a corner of the living room. They will share a room with my younger regardless of boy or girl. We hope to move to a bigger house in 4 years or so. Older ds will be going to college as well so I don't know where he will live at that point.

fellesferie

I'd keep the baby in your room until s/he STTN. Then, put the baby with your daughter. Then both your DD and the baby will have a consistent sleeping arrangement. 

 

tothemaxx04

We currently live in a 3BR house.  Each boy has his own room right now.  We are going to start trying for #3 soon.  After the new baby is sleeping through the night.  We will shack up our 2 youngest together, no matter the sex.  DS#1 is almost 11 and we think that he should have his own space.  We have no plans to move into a larger house.  We like being close together! :-)

sabrina69barnes

Here is how we did things. DS1 and I moved into DH's 3br house. SS and SD had their own rooms. I moved DS1 in with SS. When I got pregnant and found out it was a boy we set his crib up in the boys room but he co-slept for the first 5 months. Last summer when BM had another daughter and SD had to share her room. Since then SD has wanted to sleep in the boys room because she says she gets lonely. For a few monts she slept on bean bags in the boys room. After a few months I decided to officially move her in the now big kids room. The boys had bunk beds so I got her a trundle bed. DS2 now has his own room. Everyone is happy with this arrangement in our house and it works sooo much better. Now the toys are seperated by age group in each room. DS2 has no reason to be in the big kids room so I don't have to worry about him getting into toys that aren't safe. When SD starts puberty we may have to find a different room arrangement but for now this works great.

Banana44

My SS is 8 and my DD is 2.  We are actively TTC.  If/when we have a baby - the baby will share a room with DD (after the first year - the crib will be in my room the first year).

We actually have 4 bedrooms - but I liked having my sister share a room with me.  So if we have a new baby - the 2 youngest will share a room until the older of the 2  asks to have her own room (I'm guessing 8 - 10).

Does SS have his own room at BM's?  If he does - he might not want to change that.

Personally - the 2 that live there 100% of the time would be easier to share.  If not - then the baby would have a partner sometimes - but not all the time and that might be hard on the baby.  I would put baby with DD no matter what the gender of the baby was.

+j+k+

I'd do it by gender.

hterry85

Whenever #3 comes we'll do it by gender...but the ones who share a room will also get the larger room. Of course this is in the imaginary house we haven't bought yet, so I don't know how much different they would be in terms of size.

Also like PPs said, he baby would probably sleep in our room for several months anyway.

karatechrissy

DD and SS have their own rooms. I'm 2 weeks from my due date w a boy right now. DD is 1 yr old. I am putting the babies together until DS is old enough for a big boy bed (probably 2 1/2 ish is my guess). Then he will be moved to SS's room. It's a gender thing for me. But w SS being 5 I don't want him to have to share w an infant. It isn't fair IMO. Thats our family though.

JenJune3

I have a 5 year old SD, 4 year old DD, 2 year old SS and a DS on the way. We have a 4 bedroom house. We have the girls sharing a room (because they like it that way) and both boys will have their own rooms. We wanted DS to have his own room since he is the only one we have 100% of the time, the rest of the kids we have 50% of the time. When all the kids are older we may rearrange the rooms to let the 2 girls have their own and have my DS and SS share a room since girls sometimes may need more privacy and what not, but this is not something we would do until they are around 12 or 13 or so, and only if they want to.

shellygreen728

I say gender also, we kept LO in our room until she starting sleeping through the night, I didn't want to bother my other DD just because they share.

kmarie213

Baby will sleep in a crib in our room for at least the first 6 months if not longer. My DD and SS are super close and are always playing together in each other's rooms which is why I thought they could share. I shared with my own brother until we reached a certain age. I'm glad I don't have to make this decision for some time but posting here was very beneficial. Somethings I hadn't considered were mentioned here. My SS doesn't have his own room at his mom's. They live with his Grandpa and he therefore shares a room with mom. I also didn't consider that with my DD being there 100% it may be easier to develop a pattern with the baby and her.

 Lots to think over! Thanks!

MamaPosh

+j+k+:

I'd do it by gender.

This

Littlejen22

First, are you asking b/c you have an answer in mind and hope we agree?  I ask b/c most people that come here are hoping to win an argument on this.

How would you handle it if SS were not in the picture and you had 3 bio kids?  I would personally go with gender since the oldest 2 are close in age, I would not want to have to change it when your youngest is older and everyone have to adjust then.  And it will be too easy to put a girl with your SS and then all of the sudden in a year the room gets taken over with "girl" stuff and SS feels pushed out b/c he is only there half of the time.