When was the first time you cried about TTC?

liz4paws

Maybe some of you haven't ever felt any upsetting emotions during the TTC process. If that's you, I'm happy for you and would love to hear what your secret is.

For the rest of you that have experienced a hard TTC-related day (or more), I'm curious to know when the first time it was that it brought you to tears.

How many cycles were you in when you first cried during your TTC journey?

What was the circumstance that set you off?

What emotion did you feel the most (anger, sadness, fear, etc)?

 

KdgTeacher

Hmm--cycle 6 was rough, cycle 10 stung, and the tears came at cycle 12.

I'm in the middle of cycle 14 (TTA while undergoing further testing with an RE) and I'm excited again

megemoney

I haven't really cried yet. 

I think this past period was the hardest to take though.  Not because the period itself was rough, but becasue I had found out that my (younger and unmarried) brother's girlfriend is pregnant just a week and a half before it started.  I was really hoping that it would be my cycle and I would have some good news when I see them next month.  It was rough and I did have my "why not me?" moment when my period arrived.  But I took a deep breath and started thinking about the current cycle. 

melissa721

When I miscarried. Before that I was ttc for only five cycles so no tears that early on.

SandNSurf

I just cried about my O-time this cycle. I was laying there in bed crying when DH suggested we go to the doctor to see why on earth I haven't gotten KU after kicking the pill 3 years ago... I didn't look at it that way so much though, since I just finally started keeping track of dates in November. So I'm not sure if they count me at 3 years TTC or a few months... We BDd nearly every day since 2008 though... 

Priss28King

I haven't cried yet, but I do get a little sad when AF comes or when there is a huge drop in my temp ( like today).

vanillajen

I'll admit that I cried during my first cycle when I found out that my sister in law who started TTC at the same time was KU. She's one of the lucky few who get pregnant their first time trying. I think that I cried mostly though because I felt so much pressure from it. 

My current cycle started on Mother's day so I'd be lying if I said there weren't a few tears that day too...mostly because how ironic it was to be getting AF instead of my BFP but also because I was a little sad.  

Raggedy1

I'm pretty sure nothing really phased me for the first 6 cycles, but after that I think I've cried every cycle at least once - some worse than others.  Cycle 12 was rough.  My last cycle was pretty bad too because I had built up a lot of faith in the Clomid and trigger and was terribly disappointed.  

jillychris

Mine came about 7 cycles in. My OB had completed bloodwork after 6 months, due to a very obvious issue with spotting/bleeding during the LP and a short LP. Results from the bloodwork showed an AMH of .62, which is in the low range. Tears came at the point where we had a diagnosed problem.

sheilatakesabow

SandNSurf:

I just cried about my O-time this cycle. I was laying there in bed crying when DH suggested we go to the doctor to see why on earth I haven't gotten KU after kicking the pill 3 years ago... I didn't look at it that way so much though, since I just finally started keeping track of dates in November. So I'm not sure if they count me at 3 years TTC or a few months... We BDd nearly every day since 2008 though... 

You've had sex without any form of contraception every day for the last 1095 days without getting pregnant?  And hesitate to go talk to the doctor about this?

BlueEyeZ1981

I think it was cycle 5 for me.  That would have been 6 months into trying and it was CD1 and friends that weren't trying had just announced that they were pregnant with their 3rd baby.

Prayer10

Mmm..probably when I went to the OB and they ran tests and found out there were in fact some things standing in our way. Just knowing that was heartbreaking. Seeing a new RE now and I am really stoked again.

jemmer04

It was actually a couple of weeks ago... 5th month, 4th cycle trying, I thought that I was ok with it taking longer than I had hoped but apparently not... My friend called to tell me that her friend who just got married got pregnant unintentionally and she said to me it's weird how some people try and can't and other people get pregnant by accident, she immediately apologized for being a tad insensitive and I know she didn't mean anything by it. I then told my husband how I was upset about and he said to me that's why when I found out yesterday that my cousin's wife was pregnant I didn't tell you bc I knew you would freak out... Well then I just lost it, I sobbed for a good hour straight I know it will happen it's just hard when it seems like everyone around you has no problem, and when people tell me to relax I want to punch them! Lol Good luck!!! It will happen

tkbaby12

I've cried 3 times I think: the last 2 times AF arrived and when my friend got KU the very first time they tried, and we were on cycle 6. I think I've felt mostly anger, sadness and jealous. When I stop being emotional, I tell myself we haven't been trying that long and to stop worrying. Sometimes that helps me, sometimes it doesn't.

I've had baby fever for almost a year before we started trying, so I think that's making me super impatient about the journey of TTC.

buckeyebaby814

The only times I have cried was when I had my two miscarriages.  I didn't really think about TTC besides that we were trying before my first one (got pregnant on cycle 4.)  Then each cycle afterwards I got near crying when I would get AF because my LPs were 8-9 days long, so I knew there was little chance of me getting pregnant again.

AnoraStar

The first time I cried was on Mother's Day. We had only been trying for 4 cycles then and I was (mostly) upset about being anovulatory. I was so scared something was horrible wrong with me. And I had a Capitian and Coke and tend to get emotional when I drink.

And I got a little teary eyed at last cycle's BFN. I randomly O'd on my own when the Dr thought I'd need Clomid to ovulate, and we just happened to have sex on O day so I was really, really hopeful this would be some sort of 'miracle cycle' and I'd be KU...

I try to stay positive and remind myself that it WILL happen...someday.

Ellis31

Yeah I definetely cried a bit for cycle 1, I guess it was because I had heard so many times from my mom and and others that they were sure I would get pg. the first time and even though I didn't think I was listening too much apparently I was.

I also had a lot going on in my personal life which just amplified it all as well. Once I was on CD 1 of cycle 2 I was feeling really good though, I'm actually glad I went through the sadness it made me man up and realize that this could take a while and I shouldn't put so much pressure on myself. So if I don't get a BFP this cycle I know I will be ok this time.

bellablue2

I am still fairly early in the ttc process, as this is only my fourth month trying. The only time I would really say I cried was when I suffered my early miscarriage.

cldixon

I cried last cycle for the first time. I saw that dang Gerber commercial with all the babies and H turned to me and said something about "our baby" and touched my belly. I had already started AF so I was like... sniff, sniff, SOB! lol. Dang hormones!

katyms7

The first and only time I cried was the 2nd cycle I was on where I was being active in trying. I was 13 DPO and was really holding out for a BFP. That afternoon I went out to breakfast with a close friend who I confided in that we were TTC. She has one baby and said she hoped to start TTC #2 this summer (this was in March that this happened. Still no period the next day so I took a pregnancy test and it was negative. Right after I was disappointed about the negative test (not even 5 minutes passed), this friend texted me and said she was pregnant. Continued to fuel the fire by pointing out that it was so nice not having to be "trying" to get pregnant. I have barely talked to her since.

Out of 5 active cycles of trying, this was the only time so far I cried.

RobinR91

Ellis31:

Yeah I definetely cried a bit for cycle 1, I guess it was because I had heard so many times from my mom and and others that they were sure I would get pg. the first time and even though I didn't think I was listening too much apparently I was.

I also had a lot going on in my personal life which just amplified it all as well. Once I was on CD 1 of cycle 2 I was feeling really good though, I'm actually glad I went through the sadness it made me man up and realize that this could take a while and I shouldn't put so much pressure on myself. So if I don't get a BFP this cycle I know I will be ok this time.

This made so much sense to me! I was trying to explain this to DH last night, but it kept coming out all negative, and like I didn't care anymore. Last cycle I absolutely was distraught at my BFN. Really ugly cry. But this last cycle, I just kinda figured--yeah, that's one more on the BFN list and moved on. You articulate my feelings very well...thanks!

SheenaNash1

I cried last cycle when my period came super early and I had only a 7 day LP. We had had such good timing, it felt crappy to know that my cycle was cut so short.

SheenaNash1

sheilatakesabow:

SandNSurf:

I just cried about my O-time this cycle. I was laying there in bed crying when DH suggested we go to the doctor to see why on earth I haven't gotten KU after kicking the pill 3 years ago... I didn't look at it that way so much though, since I just finally started keeping track of dates in November. So I'm not sure if they count me at 3 years TTC or a few months... We BDd nearly every day since 2008 though... 

You've had sex without any form of contraception every day for the last 1095 days without getting pregnant?  And hesitate to go talk to the doctor about this?

Seriously. This.  

MickeyM04

I haven't all out cried yet, but have been damn near close a couple of times...this is cycle 2, month 3 of TTC, so I know there's not much to really cry about at this point in the grand scheme of things, but I still get pretty bummed out just from the stress of it all...OPK's every morning waiting to get a positive, freaking out about timing BD once you do get the positive, then the frustration of waiting.  So no tears, but a lot of meltdowns to DH about how much this whole thing sucks.  (That and I know SO many people who either got KU'ed the first month trying or on accident--out of all the people I know with babies or who are pregnant, I know ONE who did not conceive by accident and who took more than a month to try...so yeah 2 cycles and 3 months TTC in my little sphere of people I know has seemed really crappy.)

Mattsgirl2121

I cried for the first time around month 6 . Then I had miscarriage and have cried every cycle since then (January ) . August will be our 1 year mark and I have a RE appt for then .

gberg1331

Raggedy1:

I'm pretty sure nothing really phased me for the first 6 cycles, but after that I think I've cried every cycle at least once - some worse than others.  Cycle 12 was rough.  My last cycle was pretty bad too because I had built up a lot of faith in the Clomid and trigger and was terribly disappointed.  

Mrs.Slick

I was on cycle 4 or 5 (which was the year mark) and being told that my H and I basically had about a 1% chance of conceiving on our own. Now I'm like a freaking faucet.

Edited because I wasn't done! 

HappyAardvark

I cried right around New Year's... that cycle, just a couple of weeks before, I had gotten my first BFP, only to end in a c/p.  The culmination of 7+ cycles and everything to that point, including the emotions that come around the holidays and starting of a new year, really got to me and I cried for the first time, in bed right before going to sleep... I remember telling dh that I was so sure back in April when we started TTC that I would have been pg by then.  Fortunately I did get my sticky BFP a few weeks later but it still stung.

Sweets11

I can't even remember.  I've cried more in the last two years than I have my entire life.  I'm starting to toughen up though

lilmrsT86

I would say that cycle 6/month 6 was the first time I cried.  I was scared we would have trouble and sad that I obviously wasn't KU when AF showed. 

Also when I m/c at on cycle 12.

OrganicTeacher

My first time was today.  I was so upset that I haven't had my thermal shift, and had so much anxiety about it (Yes, I know that does not help things...) that when I was talking to my mom on the phone and she said "you just need to calm down and let things happen, " I kind of freaked out and started crying.  I told her I know. But I am terribly Type A, and that just isn't how I do things.  I know it is our first cycle charting and trying and everything together, and I had been charting my OPKs and symptoms before, but not my temps - so I honestly went into all of this thinking that it would be a piece of cake... boy was I wrong so far. lol

byrne15

I remember that I held it together for a really long time...

I cried for the first time in cycle 19.  It was the cycle before I saw my RE and it was a moment when I came to the realization that I wasn't likely to get pregnant without medical intervention.

I have cried several times since.

whoberry

Wow I am impressed by how long so many of you held up without crying!  I guess I'm just a big baby b/c I cry about it at least once a month.  I'm also really hormonal around AF - I tend to have severe moods swings and always end up crying about something at that time of the month!

My first time crying was on New Year's Eve, which was cycle 4 for me.  I had just started charting and was really distressed that I hadn't O'ed by CD 21.  I cried like a baby the whole night and refused to do anything fun.  I was really depressed that evening.  Of course I got my first + opk the next morning!  Since then I have cried every month usually around CD 2 or 3.  I also cried after my 1st dr. appt on Friday. Man I am a huge baby!!!!!!

Sullivan1416

Cycle six was tough.. the last cycle when I had a miscarriage I cried for real for the first time and I still catch myself.. especially this past weekend.  I was going to announce to my family I was 8 weeks. My sister was home and everything, but instead I had  a baby shower for a friend and I kept seeing pregnant people..

mrslaurah

We'd been trying for awhile but not bringing science into the mix yet when my younger sister announced that she was pregnant.  She didn't even want kids.  That was my first meltdown.  The second came when my older sister announced while my younger sister was in labor that she too, was KU.  Even bigger meltdown.  But I just had some endometrial polyps removed and we're hopeful that we'll have a happy cycle soon and I'll be crying GOOD tears for a change!

nursemama2be

Every cycle that one of my friends finds out they are pregnant after "not even trying" I cry. My miscarriage brought a lot of tears. We start TTCAL in Aug, I think that first period (if I don't get my BFP) will be really hard

huskymomma94

sheilatakesabow:

SandNSurf:

I just cried about my O-time this cycle. I was laying there in bed crying when DH suggested we go to the doctor to see why on earth I haven't gotten KU after kicking the pill 3 years ago... I didn't look at it that way so much though, since I just finally started keeping track of dates in November. So I'm not sure if they count me at 3 years TTC or a few months... We BDd nearly every day since 2008 though... 

You've had sex without any form of contraception every day for the last 1095 days without getting pregnant?  And hesitate to go talk to the doctor about this?

 

::giggle::

katiebug58

Cycle 2 - I know, I know.... I was just too hopeful that everything would work out this month like I planned.

 After a good cry and chat with DH I am feeling much better!  Here's to cycle 3!

luciddreamer106

I cried when my temp dropped after spotting the night before on cycle #3 (I'm on #4 now).  I know it's super early to be sad so early in trying, but our timing was great and AF showed up earlier than expected (on CD 8).  I think what makes it worse is that I'm already emotional because of AF.

klep88

I cried for the first time just this weekend and I'm on day 21 in cycle 3.  I haven't ovulated at all in the 3 months I have been off BC, and am just starting to get discouraged about the whole process.  I feel like just one month with ovulation would make me feel better, but right now it just feels hopeless.  Couple that with the fact that everyone in my life talks about how "easy" it was for them to get pregnant, and I am just a hot mess.