FAQ's: What is a Doula? How Do I find one? Do I want/need one?

Texas77again

ok ladies, i think everyone here knows my stance on doulas.  GET ONE! 

so let's hear from some of you about your thoughts, ideas, websites, stories...etc, even if you are against doulas, please speak up! 

i know of www.dona.org.  what else is out there?

as taken right from dona.org, "What they created is an organization that supports doulas who strive to help women and their partners to have satisfying childbirth and postpartum experiences. Doulas support childbearing families emotionally, and help them feel comfortable and nurtured. Doula care has been studied extensively in scientific trials and the results show remarkably improved physical and psychological outcomes for both mother and baby." 

KateLouise

I don't have any facts to share as I didn't have a doula.

I just wanted to share my thoughts on them.

I think like any aspect of labour/birth a lot of it has to do with your own personalities and points of view.

I didn't even consider a doula because I was all about the fewer people in the room the better. I don't like strangers in my space, and I find it incredibly hard to ask for help.

Even in labour I was the model of courtesy and civility. It's just how I am, when I am in pain, I fall back on my "training" in calm and control. (This was also pretty much how I predicted I would be).

So a doula would be one more person I had to be polite with, and "worry" about. Even though I know they absolutely do not care how I am behaving, I care.

On top of that I had complete faith in my husband to be everything I needed him to be.

Having said that, I can see all sorts of situations where a doula would be a tremendous help. An absent or anxious partner, a particularly long labour, a hospital that is particularly fierce about its protocol etc etc etc.

 

bluerevolution9

there is also www.doula.com  they have lots of good info.  In the book Birthing From Within there is a whole chapter on why every woman should use a doula.  

 I highly encourage women to use a doula (of course I am one so Im biased).  When I started planning for my own birth (10 weeks to go!) I also like PP said wanted as few people around me as possible.  And I know my DH will be amazing, but I also know how much pressure it puts on a husband.  Even the most wonderful, calm, supportive husbands don't know what to do in every situation.  Especially in a hospital where a couple might be faced with making lots of decisions in labor it can be invaluable to have someone in the room who knows you to help you sift through the decision (never to make it for you, but rather to help you understand the options and risks/ benefits).  I only attend hospital births, and I see it all the time.... you can't plan for everything and even if you had a birth plan, the doctors can be very pushy about protocols even if you don't want them.  It really helps to have someone "on your team".  

 I am going to have my DH, my midwife, and a close friend who is also a midwife who is going to act as my doula.  I want the midwife to be able to concentrate on her job, DH to concentrate on supporting me, and my doula to fill the gaps in between, encourage all of us, and be another source of ideas and information on how to navigate labor land.  

Temp76535187505890

Doulamatch.com is also good because it gives personal testimonials on each doula's page as well as the doula (should) update their availability there as well.

FyshWyfe

I didn't have a doula the first time so I don't know how helpful I can be- but I sure wished I had had one when I was halfway through a 21 hr labor and didn't know how long I'd be in it.  My MW was useless for comfort measures (though I'm sure totally competent clinically) and didn't touch me once.  DH and I just found one thing that worked and stuck with that the ENTIRE time.  Could have used some backup. 

flyer23

I think the biggest thing for me is that at the time that you're hiring a doula, you don't know how your labor is going to go.

For me, it comes down to this: I'd much rather hire a doula and then be in labor thinking, "Hey, this is easy. I don't really need my doula." Versus NOT hiring a doula and then be in labor thinking, "Man, I wish I hired a doula..."

There are a couple of questions often raised regarding doulas. These could probably even be separate FAQs, but I'll put them here:

"Aren't doulas really expensive?" Cost varies widely from region to region. With DD (in Northern California) I paid $900, and with DS (in Texas) I paid $400. Less experienced doulas tend to be cheaper -- and with a doula, the most important thing is that you "click" emotionally, so lack of experience really isn't a problem if that connection is there.

I see a doula's cost as being like a wedding dress's cost. I don't normally pay hundreds of dollars for a dress -- but I did for my wedding dress, because it was a one-time cost for a once-in-a-lifetime event. Same goes for my doulas.

If you really flat-out cannot afford a doula, talk to some and explain your situation. A lot of them are willing to work for a reduced price (even free) for clients who really can't afford to pay.

"My husband will be a great support to me. Why would I want a stranger instead?" My husband has been my #1 supporter during both my labors -- and he is an even bigger advocate for doulas than I am. My labor with DD was nearly 24 hours of Pitocin-induced "fun" and he would have collapsed from exhaustion without our doula there. Having a doula allows him to relax and enjoy the entire experience, because he knows that he has that support if he needs it.

"I'm having a homebirth. Why would I need a doula?" I had a homebirth with DS and still had a doula. Admittedly, we hired her when we were still planning hospital birth, but she did make herself useful. Possibly the biggest thing, which goes back to my point about how you never know how your labor will go, is that she came over in the wee hours of the morning when I was in early labor. I didn't need medical support yet, but I did need some emotional support. I'm sure my midwife would have come over at that point if I had asked, but having my doula allowed my midwife to get some extra sleep so that she was fresh when I did need true medical support.

Also, thankfully, everything went smoothly during my labor/delivery, but if it hadn't, my doula provided one more set of capable adult hands to, say, call 911 if my midwives were busy with both me and the baby and my DH was freaking out.

So, again, going back to the fact that you don't know how labor will go... I'd really hate to have a negative outcome and think, "If only I had paid that $400. If only my midwife had been a little less tired. If only we had had someone who could call 911 a little sooner..."

"I still don't think I'll need a doula during labor." Remember that doulas aren't just there for you during labor. I hired my doula with DS at around 16 weeks -- so I had 24 weeks to leverage her expertise! Even if she had completely missed the birth itself, I would have appreciated the great insight I got from her on everything from natural remedies to avoid being GBS+ again to the pros/cons of homebirth vs. hospital birth (which eventually led me to switch to homebirth)

LindseyJW

Why did I want a doula?

My first birth was a planned homebirth, and I didn't think I needed a doula. I'm having my baby at home, afterall! I didn't need a doula to run interference with an OB. This was such a naive perspective, but that's all I really knew about doulas at the time. 

I decided to have a doula at my second birth because my first birth ended in a c/s after 40+ hours of labor and I would do ANYTHING to avoid that outcome again. I'd read statistics showing doulas significantly increase chance of vaginal birth and since the cost was relatively low (in comparison to the therapy I needed after my first birth experience), why not! I ended up not having to hire a doula, as two dear friends attended my labor (one is a doula, the other is a pre/postpartum nurse - hello friends!!!) and acted as my doula.

What did my doula do?

My doula did some things during my labor that were just so key and that may not have occurred to anyone else to do:

- She put a cool, wet cloth on my forehead. MAN DID THAT FEEL AMAZING! It's such a little thing, but had a huge impact.

- She suggested position changes. So did others, but somehow, hearing it from her made me want to do it.

- She wiped the sweat from my brow. again, a little thing, but it went miles towards helping me stay focused (I was HypnoBirthing) and not be bothered by the droplets of sweat running into my eyes.

I'm sure there is more, but this is all I remember now (9+ months later)!

Now, I am a HypnoBirthing practitioner, and I always recommend to my families that they consider hiring a doula. In the long run, you probably won't regret spending the money, but you surely might regret not spending it.

tokenhoser

Why did you want a doula? This was my first time facing labour and delivery. I wanted someone that had seen lots of births to be there and keep me calm and help me find ways to be as comfortable as possible. I wanted someone to tell us when to go to the hospital. I wanted someone to make my husband a great support to me, as I didn't feel he was preparing as thoroughly as I wanted - she was like a "cheat sheet" for him to be exactly what I needed.

How much $? I paid $450; they run about $300 to $1200 where I am in Canada.

What did she do? She met with me three times before the birth and answered any questions I had. She lent me books about natural birth. She helped me write my birth plan and was there at the hospital to remind the staff what I wanted (I had gone over the plan with my doctor and had her blessing). She talked to me when I thought labour had started and came to my house when I requested her. She helped me find more comfortable positions, tried some aromatherapy, and swapped out with my DH applying counterpressure on my hips and back for about 4 hours. After the baby was born, she helped me with breastfeeding and checked up on me at home after a few days.

Would you hire a doula again? Yes, even with a relatively quick labour (~ 5 hours of hard labour including 2 hours of pushing), I would hire her for my next baby. It kept the stress level of the whole thing way down for us.

bluerevolution9

Another note that you could add:

If someone really can't afford a doula, most student doulas need to attend births and don't charge.  Women can contact doulas in their area to ask if they have students.  

tokenhoser

This is a great article if you're considering a doula:

https://www.bellybelly.com.au/pregnancy/doulas-what-is-a-doula

Part of it:

The Promise Of A Doula

1. You cannot hurt my feelings in labour
2. I won?t lie to you in labour
3. I will do everything in my power so you do not suffer
4. I will help you to feel safe
5. I cannot speak for you; but I will make sure that you have a voice and I will make sure you are heard

What Are The Proven Benefits Of A Doula?

A recent review of many studies from around the world have concluded that a doula?s support is more effective than hospital staff, friends or family. You can read the review here.

Studies consistently demonstrate very impressive benefits for the mother, father and baby, including:

• 50% less caesarean sections
• Reduction in the use of forceps by 40%
• 60% less requests for epidurals
• 40% reduction in the use of synthetic oxytocin for inductions or augmentations
• 30% reduction in use of pain medication
• 25% reduction in labour length
• Increased rates of breastfeeding at 6 weeks post-partum (51% vs 29%)
• Higher self-esteem (74% vs 59%), less anxiety (28% vs 40%) and less depression (10% vs 23%) at 6 weeks post-partum