If you have 2+ children

Kristina052707

When did you tell the first one they were going to be a big sister/brother.  Is there anything special I should do?  Thanks!

UsedToBeGoldie

griffin was about 18mo when we found out we were pg and we told him then - it's not like he TRULY understood- but he started kissing my belly on day 1... i have a video of him kissing my belly saying "hi baby" which i find so neat b/c it's before we knew it was 2 babies

 

shopgirl78

Right away.  DD was the first to know (although she was only 17 months : ) and probably didn't get it although she knew what babies are.

DD was 3.75 and DS1 was 20 months and we told them at 4.5 weeks with DS2.   DD got it right away and was excited to get "a baby sister!!" (she got a brother, which she told us to take back to the hospital after the big u/s).   

HarrietNJMommy

I didn't tell them until like 2 months before I had my DS. That's when I really looked PG anyway.........DD#1 was 3y1m and DD#2 was 19 months when DS was born. 

They both wouldn't have understood the whole "time" concept. 9 months is like an eternity to a kid. 

Mama Jan

When I was pg with DS2, DS1 one still a baby.  He was the first person I told, lol.  He began to understand as my belly grew and by the time the baby came he totally understood what was going on (by 16mo or so).

This time around, we told the kids after my first appt.  I was 8w5d and was already beginning to show.  We wanted the kids to know before we told other people because I didn't want them to hear it from someone else!  We happened to be going over to the coast for dinner so we waited until we got down to the beach after dinner.  We told the kids and DS1 did a little dance in the sand.  DS2 was excited but mostly because DS1 was excited.  We talk about the baby daily, just little things.  DS1 brings it up now like in the van.  He'll say "When the baby comes, I will sit in the back seat and the baby can seat right here."

ilovemygirls

My oldest was 2.5 when DD#2 was born- we didn't start talking about it until I was really showing.  It just seemed like a really long time away, and I felt she was too little to understand that concept & not be bugging me daily about when the baby was coming!  Probably about the time I had my 20wk ultrasound- we found out the gender- is when we really started talking more specifically to her about being a big sis and that she was having a baby sister.  We also started the process of her big girl room & involving her in that around then & moved her a month or two before the baby was due.  There are lots of great big sis/big bro books that you can get!

MrsBalletStar05

We kinda, sorta explained right away.  I was soooo sick all the time - it was a way to tell him why that was happening.  I would say he understood more and more as my belly grew and it got closer to the due date.  I do remember being not very far along though (late 1st, early 2nd tri...) and him patting my belly and saying something about wanting a brother, lol.  So he did understand fairly early on, and he was younger than yours is. 

CareBear0607

DD was only 20 months when we found out I was pg with DS.  We waited until I was out of the first trimester to tell her, but she really didn't get it until I had a big belly.  I know 2 families that got pregnant with number 2, told LO number 1 and then lost the baby.  That is really hard to explain to a toddler/preschooler. 

mabma80

DS1 was just over a year old when i was pregnant.  Still to young to know what was going on.  We waited 'til I was showing and showed him a picture of the u/s.  That helped. We also had him help decorate the room and set everything up.  He was 2 years old when DS2 was born. 

DS2 knows there's a baby in my belly, but I don't think he fully understands what that means. He's 3.  DS1 knows exactly what's going on, he'll be 5 in Sept., and is totally excited about it!  We did the same thing with DS2.  Showed him the u/s picture and I take him to my appts. to hear the heartbeat. 

Smores730

My DD went to all my Dr. appointments so we talked about it the whole time. I think it became more real when I had a 3D u/s done (had to go to a specialist at 20 weeks). At that point too the baby became a brother or sister which also made things more understandable for her. She was exactly 2 at my 20 week check up.

orange682

Our DD is about the same age as your DD and we waited till we knew the sexes of the babies before telling her.  We talked about babies a lot when we first found out, and about a week before our ultra sound we started reading baby/big sister books. 

When we told her, we kind of compared what we are going through with what the characters were going through.  The Berenstain Bear book talks about how mama's belly is getting round and how it's hard to sit on her lap.  So I asked DD if she noticed my belly was getting round and it was harder for her to sit on my lap.  .  She kisses the babies every night, tells everyone about "her babies".  At first she wanted them to be here now, but we told her how small they are.  Now she will tell you that the babies will be here at Halloween. Each week when I get the fruit email, I show her the appropriate fruit or veggie at the supermarket.   We don't take her to u/s but she has seen a few profile shots of the babies. 

She def understands what is going on and I think we told her at the perfect time. 

n&bcarlson

I'm just expecting the second one now, and I think we will tell DD after the u/s this week (12 weeks).  I have m/c before, so didn't want to have to explain that if it happened again, but she will go to most of my appointments with me so is likely going to pick up on it sooner rather than later.  When we decided to try for #2, we started saying things to her like "Your friend Bella has a baby brother now, maybe someday you'll have one, too," just to get her used to the idea.  She asked for a baby sister the other day, and I took a moment to explain that mommies and daddies don't get to choose whether they get a boy or a girl.  That left her a little puzzled.

nancyanderik

Two of my friends had to terminate their pregnancies after their 20 wk u/s (one baby didn't have a brain, the other had fluid on the heart and lungs), so we waited until after we had the u/s to tell her. I didn't want to have to explain if there was "no more baby".