Life's not fair

fyziksgirl

I know, what else is new?

I was just thinking today about a conversation I had with my friend our first month TTC. It has stuck with me and I can't quite shake it. She and her DH are Catholic and use NFP to avoid pregnancy. So she has been through fairly extensive church training on how to chart, use NFP, had advisors looking over her first charts to help her learn her cycle, etc. This kind of thing was talked about a lot. She and her DH had sex on a borderline day a few months into their marriage and turned up pregnant. So there's her background.

Because she uses NFP I thought she'd be one of the few friends I could tell about TTC (as in, she wouldn't be grossed out). My first month she asks how it's going. I tell her I ovulated and our sex timing was pretty good, and as I was typing, "So now we'll just see!" She answered, "Great! So you're pregnant!"

My jaw hit the floor.

I answered, "Um, great, so I have a 20% chance of being pregnant! We'll see what happens."

And she was flabbergasted. She asked a few times why the odds were so low, wasn't it 100%? 

Frustrated and amazed that 1) She could get pregnant at the drop of a pin (she was going to start trying in another couple months) and 2) She is supposedly the expert and after all her church training didn't know that pregnancy wasn't a 100% thing when you timed it right.

Ugh!

(As a side note, she keeps telling me to "just relax." I kind of want to punch her in her pretty little face every time she offers this advice (basically every conversation). *sigh*)

Wish knowledge led straight to BFPs!

So what are y'all shocked that other mamas don't know about how they got pregnant?

katyms7

Ugh... some people just don't understand. This board helps me not want to give up. These ladies are so supportive and understand how much it can just suck sometimes going on to another cycle after another cycle.

I wish you luck and I hope you get your BFP soon!

Belizelovers

I had a friend who told me they were TTC two weeks after we started trying and she found out she was pregnant the first month are you kidding me?  Talk about not being fair and she got pregnant with twins 3 years ago not trying on BC as well!  Talk about aggrivating and the fact that she didn't really want to have the baby she just didn't want to have the kids too far apart

cupcakepink

The "just relax" comment is the WORST. Brings out my very rare side of anger that's for sure!!

abbiejon

I have a cousin that got pregnant while on the pill, after being told (due to cervical cancer) that she couldn't have a baby (the pill was to help the cramp pain, and she never took the placebo week). Also she is the baby of the family (I am the oldest) and is in a new relationship (with a guy that the whole family can't figure out). Needless to say since DH and I are TTC I didn't take the news very well. When I talked to her about how I was TTC and was jealous of her and her having a baby she had the nerve to tell me "you know these things just happen. Regardless if you are trying or not God will give you a baby when you deserve it" Deserve it? Are you kidding me?!?!?!? I don't think that women that it "just happens" to understand.  

Laouli

"just relax" is one of the worst responses anyone can have to ANYTHING! makes me want to go postal!

fyziksgirl

Ugh! Agreed, "Just relax" is about the WORST advice you can get.

I had another friend who knew I was gearing up to TTC and was being excited and supportive. She was sharing her story and told me she and her husband got pregnant both times the first month they tried, and that with her first one she "knew the day after." I thought, yeah, we all have phantom symptoms we want to attribute, no way she could know, but who cares, good for her, why burst her bubble. Then, in like the third retelling, she tells me she "knew the next day" so she told her husband she needed to pee on a stick, and it was positive!

Um. Then you didn't know the next day. You knew about a week and a half to three weeks after the fact. And you had NO CLUE how your body worked and were darn lucky.

*sigh*

FX for BFP for all!

Mrs.Slick

If the TTC process were "fair" many many many women wouldn't still be on this board. And babies wouldn't be born to crack whores either. Hate to bring people down, but life's not fair sometimes. It sucks but all you can do is keep doing what's right for you and your family and hope for the best. 

fyziksgirl

Mrs.Slick:

If the TTC process were "fair" many many many women wouldn't still be on this board. And babies wouldn't be born to crack whores either. Hate to bring people down, but life's not fair sometimes. It sucks but all you can do is keep doing what's right for you and your family and hope for the best. 

Um, yes. That was kind of the point. This wasn't a legitimate argument that life should be fair. It's not. It never will be. But sometimes it feels good to *** about it.