CD 1, how does your DH react?

Wild_flower25

When AF slows her ugly face, and you've been TTC for awhile, how does your DH react?  Does he say anything or show disappointment? 

 DH doesn't say much and I'm just wondering if its a guy thing or what.  I don't think its that he doesn't care, its just he isn't the type of guy who talks about feelings. But sometimes I just want him to say "man this sucks!"  you know?

 

babiesbabiesbabies

We have been trying 6 months and so far DH has been more empathetic than sympathetic. He always says oh babe, I'm sorry....

brookelynpaisley

A period is not a person. It doesn't "show her ugly face."

My husband is disappointed, but he's not an emotional guy. He comforts me because I'm disappointed. Guys don't generally put as much emotion into TTC. My husband wants a baby just as much as I do, but if I counted on him to say, "this sucks!" I'd have been disappointed. Now that we're having trouble and we see that there's something wrong, if I say "this is just sad," or "I just feel so down about this," he agrees. But he isn't going to be the first one to voice those things, because he's the rock, and that's why I love him.

gigismomma

brookelynpaisley:

A period is not a person. It doesn't "show her ugly face."

My husband is disappointed, but he's not an emotional guy. He comforts me because I'm disappointed. Guys don't generally put as much emotion into TTC. My husband wants a baby just as much as I do, but if I counted on him to say, "this sucks!" I'd have been disappointed. Now that we're having trouble and we see that there's something wrong, if I say "this is just sad," or "I just feel so down about this," he agrees. But he isn't going to be the first one to voice those things, because he's the rock, and that's why I love him.

Ditto on the H not being mr emotional.  H just feels like "don't worry there is next month".  That def was his attitude when we were TTC before deployment.  I would make him look at the HPT after I POAS and he would just tell me, "Ma it is not a go" I love him for being the way he is though it works for us since I am Ubber Emotional.

Lilac33

DH reacts with a sometimes annoying amount of optimism. He is always like, we'll try again next month blah blah blah. I know he is just trying to help. But I actually got mad at him last CD1 because I was so upset and he was being so happy. I told him I wanted to know that he was disappointed too!

MsNessa

babiesbabiesbabies:

He always says oh babe, I'm sorry....

This is pretty much how my DH reacts.  He's bummed, but not as much as I am (though as time passes I think he's feeling it more). 

BN+JL2010

DH just says - "I guess we are gonna have to fvck more often".

abbiejon

For me it's kinda strange to hear still because before when we were trying not  to get conceive on CD 1 he would always say "congratulations". Now on CD1 he says "now we know for sure, and we'll keep trying" 

SMann814

jefa621:

He's just disappointed because he doesn't get any when I'm on my period.

This exactly!!!

cupcakepink

He just asks if I'm ok and says we'll try again.

huskymomma94

jefa621:

He's just disappointed because he doesn't get any when I'm on my period.

 

Yup. 

lukesliebe

My H is usually pretty optimistic and tells me "it's ok honey, that just means we get to try all the harder next month". He's not emotionaly about it but just gives me a hug and lets me know it's ok and that we can just try again. Although occasionally I used to get frustrated because he wasn't "upset" too but now I see the wisdom in trying to be optimistic. He's actually th e reason I haven't given up. I'm a perfectionist so when we didn't conceive within a few months I was ready to give up. He's the best.

Shayliz

My DH is a little sad.. but gets excited to try again. 

Squishy622

We actually got into a little argument about this last time it happened. I was frustrated because I was obviously down and wanted some comforting, and he appeared not to be upset at all, and sort of acted like I was overreacting.

He's of the mind that it'll happen when the time is right, and I know he feels like if he acts bummed then that will give me license to get more depressed about it (which is probably true), so he acts pretty indifferent even if he's not. If that makes sense.

brachatzipora

He always gives me a hug because I'm the sad one. And assures me we'll try again this month.  This month he asked if I wanted to go buy some more pomegranate juice  I don't know how I ended up with such a sweet guy.

angelsnight

Wild_flower25:

When AF slows her ugly face, and you've been TTC for awhile, how does your DH react?  Does he say anything or show disappointment? 

 DH doesn't say much and I'm just wondering if its a guy thing or what.  I don't think its that he doesn't care, its just he isn't the type of guy who talks about feelings. But sometimes I just want him to say "man this sucks!"  you know?

 

 

MH is a lot like this, he just doesn't show emotion when it comes to things like this.  In fact I even asked him, when we get a BFP, are you going to be excited (he said yes, lol).  I look for his enthusiasm in other ways, like talking about our future kids, or watching a little kid play with a cute smirk on his face like he's exciting about that being our kid playing like that soon.  It's hard to remind myself, but just because they don't get excited about the exact same things we do, doesn't mean they aren't excited.

Mrs.Slick

I guess this is one "perk" of long/annovulatory cycles. AF showing is awesome because it means a new start and a chance. And most of my periods are Provera induced so there isn't any surprise involved. I've had one "real" AF in the 18 months we've been TTC. However, I'm sure I'm the exception to the rule and most women and their SO's aren't excited about AF. 

And now that we're starting treatments I'm sure my tune will change.  

LaraValentine

DH gets really hopeful during the days leading up to whenever AF is expected, he'll say things like "If we have news, we can tell so-and-so at (insert upcoming event or visit here)" and pause by the tiny hometown team baseball jerseys in the store. But when I do start CD1, he's always extra sweet to me and offers back rubs and chocolate ice cream, basically he caters to me as though I'd been through an ordeal. Which is accurate, I guess.