Due in a bit over 2 weeks with #2. Need tips!

amygoable

So I have been so lost about how to prepare my son for this baby. He is almost 16 months old, but since he was so premature, he is more like a 12-13 month old in a lot of ways (including he's not walking yet). I got advice from the birth plan managing nurse at the hospital to have someone else hold the baby when he comes to visit after delivery, and to make sure I'm looking as healthy as possible when he does, but beyond that, I'm lost as to how to help him transition.I was thinking of sewing him some extra fuzzy blankets or lovies to cuddle with me when he arrives, because "so soft" is one of his favorite games right now (I say "so soft" and he cuddles his face into whatever it is and giggles), and making sure to do some of his favorite calm activities like singing together, but I really don't know how to introduce a little baby to him.Any tips at all? I know some moms won't even bring the older sibling to the hospital, but I don't know if I can go without seeing him for that long! He'll be with his grandparents, whom he loves, so I'm not worried about him missing us too much.

NavyPilotWife

DD1 was 16.5 months old, when #2 arrived.  Honestly, she was more interested in the balloon that her and DH brought me than her baby sister.  She looked at her and wheeled her around a bit in her bassinet and that was about it.  I can't remember if I was holding the baby or not, when she came in... I knew the plan was to keep the baby in the bassinet, when DD1 first arrived to see the baby. 

I think the fuzzy blanket is a great idea and I think that it's best to keep visits short and sweet to avoid meltdowns.  I had a rough delivery with DD2 (very easy recovery once I passed the 24 hour mark though), so I looked like pure hell...once again, DD didn't seem to notice.  I was discharged (by my request) about 27 hours after DD2 was born, so DD1 came to visit me once at the hospital and then again to pick me up.

DD1 really wasn't very interested in her baby sister until she was a few months old and interacting with her.  Now there is so much love between them that it's amazing!  We had a very smooth transition and I hope that you have the same!

kcisthebombdotcom

He will most likely be blissfully unaware at that age. When DS came to the hospital, he was busy trying to play with the cords keeping my IV going. haha. When we got home, it was pretty much the same. I'd let him sit on my lap when I fed/held the baby so he felt involved. Most of the time he was busy exploring, as he just learned to walk.

Sit on the floor with your DS when you hold the baby so he can feel involved too. Thats the best piece of advice I Can give you.

GL!

smerka

My son was a couple weeks shy on 1 when his brother arrived.  He did not come to the hospital and quite honestly I welcomed the break.  He survived and probably had a better time with his grandparents anyway.  I didn't want to deal with saying goodbye to him after a visit.

In general, he took the whole thing in stride.  He was playing pretty independently at that point (and not walking yet either).  My best piece of advice - your kid won't grow up to be a felon if you have to let him cry for a few minutes while you take care of the baby.  And he probably won't remember any of it including being an only child.   

CaitlinJ22

theres not much you can do to prepare a small toddler...I do agree that the baby should be in the bassinet when he comes in. That way they dont look at you like you are replacing them. My DS wouldve cried if I was holding DD. We let him come in and I gave him a hug, he got a toy and a cookie and then on his own he saw DD and was interested for 5 seconds....then he was done. Dont let him stay too long, 20 mins tops, it makes life easier for you and it gets boring for him fast. 

rosesandpeonies

My daughter was just under 18 months.  Basically I just did it.  She was too young to really explain anything...she did start saying baby but that was it...she had no concept...i did get her a doll, but she wasn't quite yet at the pretend play age. 

I did let her come to the hospital, but it was at the most 10 minutes that she spent there.  My parents would bring her.

My advice...if you make a major deal, they can feel it.  So just act as normal as possible.  My daughter actually ignored me in the hospital...I looked horrendous.  I always look exceptionally bad though because I have trouble after my sections and I have autoimmune diseases so I really look 10x worse than most people....I really do.  So it was almost like she didn't know who i was...it was kind of strange but I just went with it.  She acted totally fine when I got home.

If he does act funny don't push the subject just give him a kiss and let him go home.  

There is going to be transitions and every child is different so just role with it.  I had never left my daughter in anyone else's care other than me so I had anxiety even though it was my parent's.  I did fine though...I promise.  Good Luck, and Congrats