New to this board

lilstar2009

Hi friends, I wanted to introduce myself to this board, 8 days ago, my sweet baby boy was born at 30 weeks and 4 days after having preeclampsia. Luckily he is doing well on room air and on the bili lights.  My DH and I visit him everyday, but its just not enough.  Everytime I think of my baby alone in the isolette I cry...I don't know if its the hormones or my mommy instinct kicking in, but this really is outta control.  We realize how very lucky we are to have this miracle in our lives (last year at this time we were grieving the loss of our first baby girl at 19 weeks).  On top of all this, my family keeps calling saying how sorry they are that the baby is in the hospital and my husband and I want to tell them how grateful we are that he is doing so well in the NICU but I am so tired of defending ourselves to them. 

smw123

My DS was in the hospital for 5 days after his birth due to jaundice and I cried for everything until we brought him home.  It was worse at night but I think it's normal to feel that way after giving birth and since you experienced losing your baby girl, I'm sorry for her loss.  I'm glad he is doing well and I hope he continues to do so.  As for your family, have you tried not answering your phone?  I know that may make them call more but I would probably send them a text or something saying you can't answer your phone but seen that they called and just wanted to let them know everything is fine I wouldn't have to hear them saying that either.  Or the next time they say something just say you and your DH are just grateful DS is doing well for being born so early.  Good luck, my prayers are with you.

JakesBride07

Congrats on your new little one! So very glad to hear he is doing well and welcome to the board. You will find a lot of support from these ladies here.

Hang in there as best you can sweetie, what you are feeling right now is totally normal. The NICU is a rollercoaster ride.

As for the family calling and saying how sorry they are, we all have discussed this many times, sometimes people just don't know what to say in certain situations. A friend of mine was saying how sorry she was about all that we had been through and for some reason when she said it, I really got to me and I had to say back, "Please, I understand what you are saying, but don't be sorry for us. We are lucky and blessed."

Sending lots of T & P's your way and hoping your NICU stay is short and uneventful.

Lilystar82

Congrats on your baby boy I hope your NICU stay is quick and uneventful. The NICU experience is an unbelievable roller coaster that really no one understands unless they've been there. Hang in there it's so tough, but so worth it

urbanflowerpot

Hello, and welcome I'm sorry that you've had to join us because rarely does anyone expect a preemie. It's a scary, emotional time. Please post whenever you have questions or just need support on how you're feeling.

It was a surreal feeling, having my baby be somewhere I wasn't.

kck329

Congrats on your little one!

You've been through so much in the last year, its completely ok for you to want to cry all the time. I cried constantly the first month we were in the NICU and still have times when things are hard (we've been home for a month!).

It sounds like your son is doing really well and you are right, it is something to celebrate. Its totally ok for you to remind your family about how lucky you are to have him. We learned that people generally suck at knowing what to say when you have a sick baby and that when family says annoying things its usually coming from their own fears. My inlaws were horrible about that-they vented all their fears to DH rather than supporting him. It took a lot of reminding that we wanted to stay focused on the positive to get them in a better place.

Celebrate your strong little boy, enjoy the time you have with him during the day, and call a lot to check on him when you are home at night. Good luck!

lax15bsu

CONGRATS!!! on your baby boy!  I hope he continues to do well in the NICU and gets to come home soon!

elisbu

Congratulations on your Baby Boy!! He sounds like he is doing so well. I hope your stay is very short.

I remember balling whenever I thought of DD in her crib alone. Our NICU was kind of divided into three sections and she was the only baby in her section. She barley cried so all the other babies got attention and she would just lay there.  I still tear up when I think about her staring into the empty room.

I guess I wasn't much help. It does get better, I promise!!

lilstar2009

Thank you everyone!  You all made me feel a little better...I know my baby boy is well taken care of but as you all know, its hard.  Thank you for your thoughts and prayers.  It means so very much.