Going to bed problems

amidavey06

DD has been in her big girl bed for about 3 months now. Sleeping in it has been fine, but it's getting her to go to bed. For a while she wanted to be rocked to sleep. We finally decided that she was using that as a stalling tactic plus she was getting way too big for us to actually rock her. I took it out of her room the other night. It took a while but she finally climbed into bed and went to sleep. Last night though was a a fight. We usually do a book or 2 and then a couple of songs before she goes to bed. She was not having any of it.

 I was sitting on the floor by her bed and after everything was finished I told her that it was time to go to bed. She jumped up out of her bed and did not want to get back in. It took me over 30 minutes to finally get her back in bed. And then after I left the room she started screaming. I went in 2 more times after that to reassure her that she was fine and that it was time to go to bed. She finally quieted down about 9:30.

I just don't know what else I could do it make it easier to get her to go to bed. I usually use the website zerotothree.org to see if there are any tips or articles on there, but I am coming up empty. TIA!

EastCoastBride

One thing I have done is that I tell DS that if he gets out of bed again, I am going to take ___ (each night, there is always some toy, or foam letter, or book that he wants to take to bed) away. 

And 2 or 3 times I've had to follow through.  He cries and gets upset, but he stays in bed and falls asleep shortly after.  Then that usually "lasts" me a few nights - I can say "If we get out of bed, __ will go away.  Do you remember that I had to take it last night?". 

The memory of it works just as well!

I never threaten, though, to take his true comfort items- his taggie blanket or his sucky. 

Cytina

EastCoastBride:

One thing I have done is that I tell DS that if he gets out of bed again, I am going to take ___ (each night, there is always some toy, or foam letter, or book that he wants to take to bed) away. 

And 2 or 3 times I've had to follow through.  He cries and gets upset, but he stays in bed and falls asleep shortly after.  Then that usually "lasts" me a few nights - I can say "If we get out of bed, __ will go away.  Do you remember that I had to take it last night?". 

The memory of it works just as well!

I never threaten, though, to take his true comfort items- his taggie blanket or his sucky. 

I tried that with S.  He started handing things to me to take out.  Yeah, he's THAT kid - so obstinate!  Of course, I now have a toddler who goes to bed at around 10pm most nights so I get the "sleep expert of the year" award right?  LOL

Seriously though OP, I wish I had advice for you.  My son must be truly unique b/c none of the tricks I've heard work for him.at.all.  The more I go in there, the worse he gets.  Time outs didn't work, spanking didn't work.  If I sit in there for any length of time and then leave, he just gets out of bed.  I told you what happens if I take stuff away...  Ignoring him and letting him put himself to bed is our unfortunate best practice.  *sigh*

amidavey06

Cytina:

EastCoastBride:

One thing I have done is that I tell DS that if he gets out of bed again, I am going to take ___ (each night, there is always some toy, or foam letter, or book that he wants to take to bed) away. 

And 2 or 3 times I've had to follow through.  He cries and gets upset, but he stays in bed and falls asleep shortly after.  Then that usually "lasts" me a few nights - I can say "If we get out of bed, __ will go away.  Do you remember that I had to take it last night?". 

The memory of it works just as well!

I never threaten, though, to take his true comfort items- his taggie blanket or his sucky. 

I tried that with S.  He started handing things to me to take out.  Yeah, he's THAT kid - so obstinate!  Of course, I now have a toddler who goes to bed at around 10pm most nights so I get the "sleep expert of the year" award right?  LOL

Seriously though OP, I wish I had advice for you.  My son must be truly unique b/c none of the tricks I've heard work for him.at.all.  The more I go in there, the worse he gets.  Time outs didn't work, spanking didn't work.  If I sit in there for any length of time and then leave, he just gets out of bed.  I told you what happens if I take stuff away...  Ignoring him and letting him put himself to bed is our unfortunate best practice.  *sigh*

I think that might have to be the route we go with. Thanks ladies for the input!

JenChrisBabyH

Yep! We're dealing with this too-- I had it major fights a couple weeks ago because, while we had a great routine, she'd stall asking for the potty and I'd give it to her- but then she'd ask for more songs, rocking, etc. then once I put her in bed, she'd say she needed to go potty again...

What I started doing was having a very strict routine-- after bath, we brush, pj's- then only 2 stories (1 before nap), prayers, last potty visit, then song with rocking,  and to bed.  If she needs to go potty again, I don't refuse it but then its one kiss and good night- no extras.  Also her treats for potty are up for the night and I don't hang out with her in the bathroom, so the extra potty visits still happen, but happen FAR less frequently.  

Also, DD's door locks if you shut it, so I just tap it shut and my threat is that if she opens her door or steps out of her room once, I will 'shut the door all the way'- it FREAKS her out to have her door locked, but I've had to do it a few times.  It broke my heart to hear her so upset (MUCH more so than when I made her CIO at 9 mos...), but it's so important to follow through at this point, and while we're still not 100% compliant (she'll fall asleep at the door w/ it cracked open- so I tip toe up and tap it shut again...) it's much better than it was.

GOOD LUCK!