Poll: Girl=Mom picks, Boy=Dad picks?

MrsVo

I've seen this philosophy a few times on the board in the last couple days and just wondered how prevalent it is.  It's kinda mind blowing to me because I don't think either my DH or I would feel comfortable giving the other free reign on naming a child.  It's really important to us that we each love the names.[Poll]

ames71

For the middle name we had two we were considering that we both liked (one was my first pick, the other his). We made a deal that for a boy we would use his pick and mine for a girl. If we have a second child, we'll be using my pick for a mn regardless.

rubyjem00

We have come up with a bit of a system. We have decided that together we will pick a first name that we both love. If it's a girl, I will pick the middle name (family name) and if it's a boy, my DH will do the same. That being said, we both have complete veto power. Luckily, we have similar tastes. Ultimately, we have to agree on the whole name.

Ceridwen21

I think it's really important that both parents participate in the name selection (though I sometimes wish DH would just cave and give me what I want!).

I did however tell DH he could choose the boy middle name from a list of Welsh names I gave him.  I offered this to him because if it was a girl, she would get my Welsh grandmother's name (not up for debate), so I thought it was only fair to give him the choice of a boy's middle name since I'm already stipulating that it must be Welsh

We are indeed having a boy, and he picked Rhys, which I love, though I probably would have gone for a weirded one like Gwynedd or Llewelyn.

moxie9

There was some bumpie who posted that if the baby was a boy, he would be named something something III (or what have you) and was wondering if it was only fair that she got to pick the name for a girl. I think that's one of those instances where this scenario would be fair.

sugarpumpkin716

i think (unless people genuinely do not care) both parents should have an equal say. i don't like the boys pick for boys and girls pick for girls thing. if there's a male family name that has to be used and a girl family name that has to be used that's one thing...

lavieenrose19

I personally think this is a really stupid "philosophy". A friend of mine and her husband decided to do this, her husband chose their son's name Tristan Liam, luckily she liked it. He already knows what he wants to name their next son (when and if they have another boy) and the names are just horrible! But apparently she has no choice, yet he shot down and refused to let her go with her first pick for a girls name... how is that fair? 

 

When I have children I want my husband involved in the naming process. I just hope he likes the names I want to go with lol. If not we'll settle on a name we both like. 

HannahO28

though I've never actually gone through naming a child with my husband, I feel like this kind of compromise is just lazy. It's ok to struggle with naming your kid and find a name that you can both live with. There are millions of names out there. Work together and find a name.

Or all of your parenting decisions going to be divided up? He gets to choose how to discipline the boys and you get to choose how to discipline the girls? It's much easier than having to agree, right?

(this is a hypothetical 'you'...I'm not trying to call anyone out...) 

anna7602

Nope, don't agree with this philosophy at all. We've decided to go with names honoring my cultural background since our children will have DH's super ethnic last name, but DH and I still pick/picked those names together.

LuckyIrishMama11

I voted "other", because for us it's both yes and no.

My son was Mason until we were 37 weeks pregnant and a close friend due 2 weeks before me used the name. Not a huge deal, since we live in different states, but her son passed away of HLHS and it did NOT feel right anymore out of respect for her and Mason. But Mason was literally the only boy name I liked at the time and I could not come up with a thing. Hubby LOVED the name Tristan all along, but I had only heard it on girls and said no way from the beginning. So, as a deal for him to get Tristan, we agreed that he would have "executive privilege" for boys and I would have the same for girls, meaning he or I makes the ultimate decision on the name after hearing input from the other person. We still retain veto power but agree to use it judiciously, only if we REALLY REALLY HATE the other person's pick. We are estranged from his family and so we will use my adoptive and birthparents names (or gender appropriate versions) for all mns, since we want 4 kids So there's no discussion about middles anymore.

Fortunately, I got my girl this time around so it's been fair so far I think it works well for us because we have similar naming styles anyway and neither of us would disrespect the other by going rogue. He was the one who came up with all three names on our daughter's short list though, including my final pick! We've decided he's better at naming babies and I'm better at naming pets :P

Sorry this was long and complicated! But it answers the poll. Lol

 

gimmietimmies

Not a fan of this strategy. It's one thing if for some reason you pass down a family name, but the spouse needs to be on board with that. If we had not had ds, then the girls names would have been left up to me, no input from DH? I would be pissed if I were him, and if the situation were reversed I wouldn't be having it. I can only see this working if you were guaranteed one of each sex to be fair, and that you both liked each others picks. It does have the potential for resentment.

seashell_83

We picked first names together and SO chose the girl's middle name and I chose the boy's middle name but we both had to agree on them.  It seems to be working so far lol but we still have 5 months to go!!

ferris0906

Moxie--That may have been me.  DH's family has a tradition of naming the first son after DH's first name and my father's FN as the MN.  I thought it would be fair for me then to get to name the child if it's a girl.  So, that would be my vote!