siblings fighting, how do you handle this?

CTFandme

DS and DH are constantly at each other.  I'm tired of hearing...I had it first, I wanted that, that's mine, Stella did this to me, Rowan said that to me...if I hear those phrases one more time I might shoot myself.  When the two of them begin to fight, DS immediately breaks into a fit of tears and DD usually retaliates by pinching. DS is 4, DD is 2.  I try to explain sharing or taking turns.  It doesn't work. And it doesn't matter if what they're playing with is his or hers.  DS is so used to blaming DD that today he came running into me and said 'Stella...no wait, I hurt my knee. Stella didn't do anything'.  Please, share your parenting advice on how to get them to stop arguing before I throw all the toys away and they have nothing left to fight over.  off to get some wine...  

and before anyone asks, we do time outs and discipline both of them for the physical part of this. I'm trying to figure out how to stop the bickering.  

Melett

My dc are going thru the exact same thing and I am going crazy because of it-hope u get some good advice..

jettagurl

I separate them.  If they can't play nice together, they can't be together.  I've even gated them in separate rooms.   

If they are arguing about toys, I often write down a number between 0-10 and have them pick - whoever is closer gets the toy and I set a timer.  

 

shopgirl78

Mine do the same thing (DD and DS1).  It's really annoying.  I separate them into their rooms.  I take it as a sign they need some alone time. 

AnnapolisLari

Mine are 4.5 and 2.5 and it's like WWIII around here sometimes. I just let them fight it out and discipline them for anything physical.

One thing that works pretty well is forbidding them to go anywhere near each other. If they are in the same room, I make them sit on opposite sides of it. After a couple of hours of that they usually come and tell me "mommy, if we are good can we play together?"

Conflict management is a life skill, right?

josie402

Mine are the same ages and we have the same issue at our house.  Somedays they are great and play so well and some days they can't be near each other.  Hopefully they'll grow out of it eventually!  For now, it's timeouts or separation depending on what they are fighting over/how bad it is.

J&A2008

At that age, distraction!  Find a new toy, game, suggest something fun they always want to do - anything to lift the mood and avoid boredom.

skippy2310

I don't know, but mine wake up bickering and go to bed at each other's throats. It drives me crazy!

CTFandme

skippy2310:

I don't know, but mine wake up bickering and go to bed at each other's throats. It drives me crazy!

This made me chuckle a little

 

CTFandme

thanks everyone!  Glad to know I'm not alone. 

Alibabs

LOL We have 3 kids that like to kill each other **very big sigh**. We have lots of time-outs. It is not fun. DS #1 likes to cry and push -  DS#2 likes to scream and push and DS#3 likes to scream, cry and bite. I so glad I'm not a SAHM right now!!!