So, it happened. My first week of gaining weight. Of course it didn't happen any of the weeks I was sure it was going to happen, it happened this week. When I thought I was ok. Efffff.
So, I know it needs to happen to everyone and not every week is a loss week and blah blah I've heard it all before. But seriously. It just makes me so so mental about it all over again. It makes me want to say, screw it. It doesn't work. I KNOW that's wrong, but nevertheless the feelings are there.
Yesterday we went to Mexican for Father's Day. I had a VERY light breakfast & lunch. I had NO chips, NO margarita, I had ONE cheese enchilada and half my serving of whole beans and rice. I was *** pissed. I left the restaurant COMPLETELY unsatisfied and TOTALLY annoyed. BUT- I was proud that at least I stuck to my plan.
And for what? To gain 1.8 pounds today. Thanks a lot, ***. Glad I didn't have that drink that I wanted soooooooo bad.
I am a person who will NEVER, EVER be able to just eat like a normal person.
And now I go into my vacation week with this. That's a whole 'nother story.
For me, food=vacation. I know it shouldn't. I KNOW IT SHOULDN'T. But it does and honestly I like it. I like to eat. I like food. Food tastes good. Eating food with my family and friends feels good. I am completely and totally hooked in to food as good feelings, part of entertainment, and I don't think I can separate it.
I don't even know if I want anyone to respond to this. I know I don't want any Mary Sunshine bs. I'm way crying right now and have been the whole time I type so if you are going to get all high horse on me don't bother.
I'm on my way to Jazzercise and I KNOW I will feel better about this after I work out.
I just HATE that this is my problem. I hate that it's so hard. I'm sure all you skinny beazies with different problems would love to trade me, but right now, I would give anything not to have this problem. And I won't apologize for it.
It sucks. Sucks sucks sucks. SUCKS.
Re: BOMB meltdown
No mary sunshine bs. Just ((hugs)). I'm sorry.
Okay, and one more thing...I can't not. Sorry... - it's hard b/c it's worth it. It's hard b/c you've been working (and succeeding!) at it, and you've hit a bump in the road. It's hard. No doubt about it, it's hard. But you can do it. You will do it. I have tons of faith in you.
Okay, more ((hugs)).
It is hard! I'm with you. I love food. I love to eat it, cook it, see it, smell it, talk about it, and imagine it. It's so hard to lose weight, but so easy to put the pounds on. It sucks to have a gain especially right before vacation. I know I gave you a bunch of psycho-jabber earlier about what to do on vacation, but I'm the same way as you. It's why I gain 10 lbs everytime I go back to SC.
This is not the end. Feel bad about it right now (because it sucks and you should), but move on. Besides, you probably didn't really gain that much. Do you know how much sodium is in Mexican food?!?!? It was totally water weight.
Much love to you Fricky! I hope you're imagining that *** scale while you give all you've got at Jazzer tonight.
No Mary Sunshine from me.
I could have written this post. I respond the exact same way to weight gain.
All I can say is eff off, Fricky's 1.8 lbs!!!!
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Haley Beth ~ March 3rd, 2011
hugs to you. It has happened to me before. I was awesome in my food and exercise and the gained weight. Have fun @ Jazzercise.
*whew*
Thank you, my dears. It's so good to know that this frantic psycho who appears from time to time has some cohorts out there. It's kind of a scary and sinking feeling. Your support and words mean more to me than you could know.
So, i worked out, I feel better. I'm still annoyed, but perspective. Stef you are right, it's a bump in a long road and it's ok. Just bad timing. And it is worth it. It just sucks because I just have to make a new "normal" I guess, I just won't ever be able to be what I think of a "normal". Ash, we are so similar in our thoughts/feelings/family relationships concerning food. I'm grateful I have you to talk to about it!
Breathing now and sipping down that water. Hopefully it was just salt. Good thing is at least it didn't send me over the edge and straight in to the cake pops (which I have only had 3 of since Thursday! I have managed to resist for the most part!!). I ate a healthy dinner & exercised, so that's good good good.
Thanks again guys. Hugs right back.
HUGS!!!
Did you know the WW scale was broken? Totally was. Some skinny b!tch went in last night and recalibrated all the scales in the WORLD (like santa does) just to f!ck with our weigh ins.
I don't give a rats! Lets enjoy our vacays, because aside from the dieting, and the working out. We have Families, work, in-laws, stress, TV, books to read, and a bazillion things to do.
im enjoying my beer-fest weekend (thursday - sunday) and i will have a margarita or 4 for u.
YES FALYNN!! That must have been it!! Lol
I was teaching the J Lo routine "On the Floor" tonight and singing, "Love somebody drink a little more" and I'm all singing on to my students, "Which she can do nightly, because she has FIVE NANNIES".
lol It's so true right? Priorities. We need to recognize. Love you.
I'm late to respond but just wanted to send you a hug. I understand every word all to well. Keep going, it will work. Your honesty and ability to real about it all inspires me! Love you!
107 Read/listened to in 2011: 91 Books/16 Audiobooks
Read 2012: 33/50
Huge hugs to you H! Just know that you are NOT alone! I feel that way many times. Heck, I am going through something similar as well but, being honest, I know what I did "wrong" whereas you just have been rocking it. Honest engine, sister, I am not sugar coating it!
If you don't mind my two cents (you can skip this if you don't want it!), I have found that I always gain after eating certain foods, even when I workout and otherwise stick to my eating plan and portion sizes...chinese and mexican do it for me. Perhaps it is extra salt? Retaining water? Or just my body loving those foods and holding on exxxxttttrrrrrraaaaa long to them and taking its oh so precious time to digest them in order to savor every last morsel? (That was me trying to be funny, but hey, it is late and my humor is somewhat lacking!!!)
Thanks for being honest about your journey. I wish it was an easy one for you and all of us. I struggle with food as well. Yep, I admit it, I have a distorted relationship with food. It sucks.
We are here for you H! Oh, and I still want to make it to one of your classes real soon!